CONTRIBUTOR'S CORNER

PIG has posted such great material on a regular basis from the twisted folks listed below, we decided to inflate their egos by giving them a page of their own. If you are like them, and have entirely too much time on your hands, have some PIG Worthy material, and want to join Team PIG, we welcome your contributions. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Lone Star • Terri Terry • Bill Taylor • Double Edge • PIGster Prime • Swine Flew • PIGster GM • Bad Moon • Eatin'-Cro • PIGster Grammy • Miscellaneous

AND GOD SAID TO NOAH...

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."

"Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system."

"My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision."

"Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl."

"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined spa."

"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

"Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work."

"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience."

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

See Alice

---

Dudes. Do you have a friend, co-worker, neighbor, or maybe even that guy in the mirror that has a non-stop nagging, nit-picking shrill of a wife?

Well, if so, there is a cure. Porcus Wleby, M.D. recommends you run to go and get some See Alice. See Alice is all about a different kind of 'pussy-whipping.'

Link below.

>>> See Alice >>>

Bud The Cowboy vs. Hi-Tek

---

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. 
 
The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, Ray Ban® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" 

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T iPhone® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. 

 
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. 

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored.
 
He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. 

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." 

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. 
 
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. 

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" 

 
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" 

 
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. 
 
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" 

 
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
 
"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.
 
You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.
 
This is a herd of sheep.”

“Now give me back my dog.”

CAREER CHANGE

---

I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business,patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.

A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, was stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, "Aqbar Allah! Praise Allah!" and took off before the light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man...that could have been me!"

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.

 

---

This is funny but sad. All 3 videos are interesting but the first and the third are great. Notice that all three videos were shot in the presence of dihydrogen monoxide.

The first two were shot on the Santa Monica pier where people obviously don't get enough dihydrogen monoxide so they supplement their diets with Kool Aid.

>>> 2nd Amendment/Nukes/Dihydrogen Monoxide >>>

---

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started...

* * *
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes.'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started.

* * *
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

* * *
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

* * *
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

* * *
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started.

* * *
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started.

* * *
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started.

* * *
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started.

* * *
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's near perfect."

And then the fight started.

* * *
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

---

GUN STUFF

---

Item #1: Top 5 Reasons Why You Never Mess With A Ladies Purse, Because This Lady Will Make Your Day, Dirty Harriet Style

>>> Don't Even Think About It >>>

Item #2: Somebody Needs To Listen Up

>>> It's About The Nail >>>

Item #3: How Do You Know You're Shopping In Texas?

>>> Shopping In Texas >>>

Item #4: New 10 Round Magazine

In the event of any future successful gun control measures limiting magazines to a 10 round maximum capacity and requiring that magazines are not reusable, Nivek Industries, Inc. will be promoting its new line of 10 round magazines that should satisfy both the brain dead libtards and the die hard patriots. 

These new magazines will be available for weapons of all calibers and come complete with a built in explosive charge.  This way, should your opponent/enemy still be alive and shooting after you've expended your 10 rounds, you can drop your magazine, pull out a safety pin with your teeth, and hurl a live grenade at your target thus destroying both it and the magazine.

After all, your marksmanship skills might suck and you might want to consider a new tactic.  In the event that your throwing arm sucks too, you can easily and quickly pop in a new Nivek magazine because they are designed for the budget minded gun enthusiast.

What's an Orville Copter? An Orville Copter is a labor of one mans love for his cat.

Morbidly sick and twisted Dutch artist Bart Jansen decided to freeze his dead cat, install helicopter propellers, landing gear and some radio controlled gizmos into the dead cats body.

The initial flight was a success as seen in the video clip, below.

Well, PIGs tech guru K-Cro, thought of the possibilities of such innovation by suggesting installing a spy cam into the poor dead beast and making it a drone-like aircraft. Think of the fun you can have flying your Orville Copter.

Example: You have a super hot neighbor, built like a brick house who likes to sun bathe or barbeque in the nude in her back yard with her super hot girlfriends. Simply have Orville do a fly over and record the festivities.

Or, you can do a flyover to that wanna be rock star that blasts his stereo after midnight and have Orville drop M-80s or blockbusters into his back yard.

But PIGs tech guru K-Cro didn't stop there. He suggested calling the Defense Department and make drones out of dead pigs and have them 'accidentally' fly over such places like Dearbornistan, Mosques or any other Islamikaze infested neighborhoods and ratholes. You know, just for test flights and loads of fun, of course.

I guess with that type of thinking, one day pigs will fly, and I'm going to put in an early request for one to Santa Claus.

We hope this posting inspired some creative do-it-yourselfers and Popular Mechanics types.

Here's the link:

>>> Sky Pilot >>>

---

As the Supreme Court hears arguments for and against the Chicago, IL Gun Ban, I offer you another stellar example of a letter (written by a Marine),  that places the proper perspective on what a gun means to a civilized society.

Interesting take and one you don't hear much. Read this eloquent and profound letter and pay close attention to the last paragraph of the letter...

"The Gun Is Civilization" by Maj. L. Caudill USMC (Ret)

Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and force.
     
If you want me to do something for you, you have a choice of either convincing me via argument, or force me to do your bidding under threat of force.
     
Every human interaction falls into one of those two categories,without exception. Reason or force, that's it.

In a truly moral and civilized society, people exclusively interact through persuasion.
     
Force has no place as a valid method of social interaction, and the only thing that removes force from the menu is the personal firearm, as paradoxical as it may sound to some.

When I carry a gun, you cannot deal with me by force.  You have to use reason and try to persuade me, because I have a way to negate your threat or employment of force.

The gun is the only personal weapon that puts a 100-pound woman on equal footing with a 220-pound mugger, a 75-year old retiree on equal footing with a 19-year old gang banger, and a single guy on equal footing with a carload of drunk guys with baseball bats. The gun removes the disparity in physical strength, size, or numbers between a potential attacker and a defender.

There are plenty of people who consider the gun as the source of bad force equations.
     
These are the people who think that we'd be more civilized if all guns were removed from society, because a firearm makes it easier for a [armed] mugger to do his job.
      
That, of course, is only true if the mugger's potential victims are mostly disarmed either by choice or by legislative fiat--it has no validity when most of a mugger's potential marks are armed.

People who argue for the banning of arms ask for automatic rule by the young, the strong, and the many, and that's the exact opposite of a civilized society. A mugger, even an armed one, can only make a successful living in a society where the state has granted him a force monopoly.

Then there's the argument that the gun makes confrontations lethal that otherwise would only result in injury.
       
This argument is fallacious in several ways. Without guns involved, confrontations are won by the physically superior party inflicting overwhelming injury on the loser.

People who think that fists, bats, sticks, or stones don't constitute lethal force watch too much TV, where people take beatings and come out of it with a bloody lip at worst.
        
 The fact that the gun makes lethal force easier works solely in favor of the weaker defender, not the stronger attacker. If both are armed, the field is level.

The gun is the only weapon that's as lethal in the hands of an octogenarian as it is in the hands of a weight lifter.
         
It simply wouldn't work as well as a force equalizer if it wasn't both lethal and easily employable.

When I carry a gun, I don't do so because I am looking for a fight, but because I'm looking to be left alone.
         
The gun at my side means that I cannot be forced, only persuaded. I don't carry it because I'm afraid, but because it enables me to be unafraid. It doesn't limit the actions of those who would interact with me through reason, only the actions of those who would do so by force.
          
It removes force from the equation... and that's why carrying a gun is a civilized act.

By Maj. L. Caudill USMC (Ret.)

So the greatest civilization is one where all citizens are equally armed and can only be persuaded, never forced.

---

Do you remember the scene?

The Senate.

Barbara Boxer hearing from a Brigadier General? 

Silly General! He addresses Barbara as "Ma'am", and she CORRECTS him, telling him she's "worked SO hard to earn the title, 'Senator'", so please to use that when speaking to her.

Get a load of this letter! Get out your dictionary, also.

Read the letter sent to Sen. Barbara Boxer from an Alaskan Airlines pilot below.

Many of us witnessed the arrogance of Barbara Boxer on June 18, 2009 as she admonished Brigadier General Michael Walsh because he addressed her as "ma'am" and not "Senator" before a Senate hearing.

This letter is from a National Guard aviator and Captain for Alaska Airlines named Jim Hill. I wonder what he would have said if he were really angry.            

Long Fly Alaska!!!!!

Babs:

You were so "right on" when you scolded the general on TV for using the term, "ma'am," instead of "Senator". After all, in the military, "ma'am" is a term of respect when addressing a female of superior rank or position. The general was totally wrong. You are not a person of superior rank or position. You are a member of one of the world's most corrupt organizations, the U.S. Senate, equaled only by the U.S. House of Representatives.

Congress is a cesspool of liars, thieves, inside traders, traitors, drunks (one who killed a staffer, yet is still revered), criminals, and other low life swine who, as individuals (not all, but many), will do anything to enhance their lives, fortunes and power, all at the expense of the People of the United States and its Constitution, in order to be continually re-elected. Many Democrats even want American troops killed by releasing photographs. How many of you could honestly say, "We pledge our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor"?  One? Two? None?

Your reaction to the general shows several things. First is your abysmal ignorance of all things military. Your treatment of the general shows you to be an "elitist" of the worst kind. When the general entered the military (as most of us who served) he wrote the government a blank check, offering his life to protect your derriere, now safely and comfortably ensconced in a 20 thousand dollar leather chair, paid for by the general's taxes. You repaid him for this by showing your disdain toward him in front of millions. The shame is yours...not his!

Second is your puerile character, lack of sophistication, and arrogance, which borders on the hubristic. This display of brattish behavior shows you to be a virago, termagant, harridan, nag, scold or shrew, unfit for your position, regardless of the support of the unwashed, uneducated masses who have made California into the laughing stock of the nation.

What I am writing, are the same thoughts countless millions of Americans have toward Congress, but who lack the energy, ability or time to convey them. Regardless of their thoughts, most realize that politicians are pretty much the same, and will vote for the one who will bring home the most bacon, even if they do consider how corrupt that person is. Lord Acton (1834 - 1902) so aptly charged, "Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Unbeknownst to you and your colleagues, "Mr. Power" has had his way with all of you, and we are all the worse for it.

Finally Senator, I, too, have a title. It is "Right Wing Extremist Potential Terrorist Threat." It is not of my choosing, but was given to me by your Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano. And you were offended by "ma'am"?

Have a fine day. Cheers!

Jim Hill
16808 103rd Avenue Court East
South Hill,  WA  98374

---

At last! A cell phone for seniors that makes sense and will have the youngsters asking, "Like, what's that round thingee in the middle for"?

---

Were you aware of the fact that just recently in Portland, OR a man, down on his luck, having lost his savings, home, retirement, cars, family and even the loyalty of his beloved canine best friend has remained ever faithful, praying that Obama would miraculously 
ameliorate his tragic woes.

As it turns out, after the marshals  forcefully evicted him from his home of 25 years, he left with the  only important documents he still possessed, i.e., a roll of toilet paper.

After many cold nights praying and suffering he was finally rewarded with a most divine message clearly sent from the Messiah himself, Barack Obama! 

Being homeless and ever hungry, the man squatted in some nearby bushes to relieve himself of what he thought was pretty damned close to nothing, i.e., his last paltry meal. His persistent, pious faith paid off in the fact that he experienced the most joyful, productive, heaven-sent bowel movement that he had ever known. 

Even more exciting was the fact that he experienced an Obamiphany!! 

Miraculously, the man was rewarded with a vision of  Obama's smiling face in one of the turds compromising this pile of  shit of antediluvean magnitude. 

But wait, it doesn't end there.The man had clearly won Obama's favor, for not only was he rewarded with this miraculous apparition of Obama himself but he was also able to 
clearly discern Michelle and the other members of the holy family amongst the peanuts and corn. 

What a blessing, he thought.  News of  this miracle spread quickly, and the man was contacted by officials  from the local catholic parish, who are investigating the circumstances surrounding the country's biggest pile of shit to  determine the veracity of this man's claims. 

So much for reports of the Mexican faithful finding the image of the Virgin Mary in a tortilla.

---

This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare.

At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".  

I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who   their daddies are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care, and expect me to feel guilty because   they are dogs.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.........

"My dogs get their first checks Friday!"

Damn, this is a great country.

---

The Global Islamic population is approximately 1,200,000,000

20% of the world's population.

They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

Literature:
1988 - Najib Mahfooz

Peace:
1978 - Mohamed Anwar El-Sadat
1990 - Elias James Corey
1994 - Yaser Arafat:
1999 - Ahmed Zewai


Economics: 
(zero)


Physics: 
(zero)

Medicine:
1960 - Peter Brian Medawar
1998 - Ferid Mourad

TOTAL: 7


The Global Jewish population is approximately 14,000,000

About 0.02% of the world's population.

They have received the following Nobel Prizes:

Literature:
1910 - Paul Heyse
1927 - Henri Bergson
1958 - Boris Pasternak
1966 - Shmuel Yosef Agnon
1966 - Nelly Sachs
1976 - Saul Bellow
1978 - Isaac Bashevis Singer
1981 - Elias Canetti
1987 - Joseph Brodsky
1991 - Nadine Gordimer World

Peace:
1911 - Alfred Fried
1911 - Tobias Michael Carel Asser
1968 - Rene Cassin
1973 - Henry Kissinger
1978 - Menachem Begin
1986 - Elie Wiesel
1994 - Shimon Peres
1994 - Yitzhak Rabin

Physics:
1905 - Adolph Von Baeyer
1906 - Henri Moissan
1907 - Albert Abraham Michelson
1908 - Gabriel Lippmann
1910 - Otto Wallach
1915 - Richard Willstaetter
1918 - Fritz Haber
1921 - Albert Einstein
1922 - Niels Bohr
1925 - James Franck
1925 - Gustav Hertz
1943 - Gustav Stern
1943 - George Charles de Hevesy
1944 - Isidor Issac Rabi
1952 - Felix Bloch
1954 - Max Born
1958 - Igor Tamm
1959 - Emilio Segre
1960 - Donald A. Glaser
1961 - Robert Hofstadter
1961 - Melvin Calvin
196 2 - Lev Davidovich Landau
1962 - Max Ferdinand Perutz
1965 - Richard Phillips Feynman
1965 - Julian Schwinger
1969 - Murray Gell-Mann
1971 - Dennis Gabor
1972 - William Howard Stein
1973 - Brian David Josephson
1975 - Benjamin Mottleson
1976 - Burton Richter
1977 - Ilya Prigogine
1978 - Arno Allan Penzias
1978 - P eter L Kapitza
1979 - Stephen Weinberg
1979 - Sheldon Glashow
1979 - Herbert Charles Brown
1980 - Paul Berg
1980 - Walter Gilbert
1981 - Roald Hoffmann
1982 - Aaron Klug
1985 - Albert A. Hauptman
1985 - Jerome Karle
1986 - Dudley R. Herschbach
1988 - Robert Huber
1988 - Leon Lederman
1988 - Melvin Schwartz
1988 - Jack Steinberger
1989 - Sidney Altman
1990 - Jerome Friedman
1992 - Rudolph Marcus
1995 - Martin Perl
2000 - Alan J. Heeger

Economics:
1970 - Paul Anthony Samuelson
1971 - Simon Kuznets
1972 - Kenneth Joseph Arrow
1975 - Leonid Kantorovich
1976 - Milton Friedman
1978 - Herbert A. Simon
1980 - Lawrence Robert Klein
1985 - Franco Modigliani
1987 - Robert M. Solow
1990 - Harry Markowitz
1990 - Merton Miller
1992 - Gary Becker
1993 - Robert Fogel

Medicine:
1908 - Elie Metchnikoff
1908 - Paul Erlich
1914 - Robert Barany
1922 - Otto Meyerhof
1930 - Karl Landsteiner
1931 - Otto Warburg
1936 - Otto Loewi
1944 - Joseph Erlanger
1944 - Herb ert Spencer Gasser
1945 - Ernst Boris Chain
1946 - Hermann Joseph Muller
1950 - Tadeus Reichstein
1952 - Selman Abraham Waksman
1953 - Hans Krebs
1953 - Fritz Albert Lipmann
1958 - Joshua Lederberg
1959 - Arthur Kornberg
1964 - Konrad Bloch
1965 - Francois Jacob
1965 - Andre Lwoff
1967 - George Wald
1968 - Marshall W. Nirenberg
1969 - Salvador Luria
1970 - Julius Axelrod
1970 - Sir Bernard Katz
1972 - Gerald Maurice Edelman
1975 - Howard Martin Temin
1976 - Baruch S. Blumberg
1977 - Roselyn Sussman Yalow
1978 - Daniel Nathans
1980 - Baruj Benacerraf
1984 - Cesar Milstein
1985 - Michael Stuart Brown
1985 - Joseph L. Goldstein
1986 - Stanley Cohen & Rita Levi-Montalcini
1988 - Gertrude Elion
1989 - Harold Varmus
1991 - Erwin Neher
1991 - Bert Sakmann
1993 - Richard J. Roberts
1993 - Phillip Sharp
1994 - Alfred Gilman
1995 - Edward B. Lewis

TOTAL: 129

The Jews are NOT promoting brain washing children in military training camps, teaching them how to blow themselves up and cause maximum deaths of Jews and other non Muslims!

The Jews don't hijack planes, nor kill athletes at the Olympics, or blow themselves up in German restaurants. 

There is NOT one single Jew that has destroyed a church. There is NOT a single Jew that protests by killing people.

The Jews don't traffic slaves, nor have leaders calling for Jihad and death to all the Infidels.

Perhaps the world's Muslims should consider investing more in standard education and less in blaming the Jews for all their problems.

Muslims must ask 'what can they do for humankind' before they demand that humankind respects them!!

Regardless of your feelings about the crisis between Israel and the Palestinians and Arab neighbors, even if you believe there is more culpability on Israel 's part, the following two sentences really say it all:

'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence.
If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel.'

-Benjamin Netanyahu

---

BP's Final Option

---

A DC airport ticket agency offers some examples of 'why' US is in trouble!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa ''

His response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!''

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.''

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''

I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii ... After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.’’

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.