Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.

It's open season on Obama and PIG's In-box is filling up with so much Obama material from our readers at such a furious pace that we decided to create a page to showcase all the stellar stuff that comes our way.

It's no secret that anything related to Obama is such an easy target for not just his detractors, but even the casual observer.

We dedicate this page to lampooning everything Obama. From Him, His policies, His appointees, administration, ACORN, even His Nobel bling and especially His brain dead disciples, zombies and apologists, everything is fair game.

The supply of Obama fodder is endless and we've had an arsenal of some pretty creative written and graphic material cross our desks.

So, sit back and enjoy our Obama-Palooza that is guaranteed to provide you with hours of PIGish entertainment, and as usual, The F.S.O.P. welcomes Obama material in all shapes and forms, so don't be shy about sending us your take on Obama.

Before we begin, let us bow our heads with the following...

Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican Party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes.
My expenses runneth over.Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life
And I will live in a rented home with an overseas landlord.

HOMEBOY'S TIME!

FAMILY TIME!

RIOT TIME!

WHO CARES ANYMORE?

OBAMA'S AMERICA: ISIS' HOME AWAY FROM HOME

NO CAPTION NEEDED

GRUMPY CAT'S TAKE ON THE SPINELESS 'ONE'

QUESTION...

History as taught by the principal of Ding Dong School

You may recall that a few weeks ago, President Obama spoke of three former Presidents making prisoner swaps at the end of wars that took place on their watch, "much like this swap" he said convincingly. CNN carried this quote, "This is what happens at the end of wars."

President Barack Obama boasted when he was asked about swapping American Army Sgt. Deserter for five vicious Taliban terrorists. "That was true for George Washington, that was true for Abraham Lincoln and that was true for FDR. That's been true of every combat situation, that at some point, you make sure that you try to get your folks back...and that's the right thing to do."

Really?

That statement blatantly demonstrates that the most powerful man in the World and two term President of the United States lacks even a grade school level of knowledge of American History; specifically, history as it relates to three of our most famous presidents and it demonstrates again that we have essentially elected a foreigner who has no understanding of the very country that he reigns supreme over. Then again, he was educated at an IVY League school so you can't ever expect anything near reality.

What's wrong with his statements?

Let's keep it simple – EVERYTHING is wrong!

1. George Washington did not become president until six years after the Revolutionary War ended in 1783. By 1789 there were no longer any prisoners for him to exchange.

2. Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in mid-April of 1865. The Civil War ended the following month. He was still dead at that time. No deals were made to exchange prisoners after the war. All prisoners were simply freed.

3. FDR died of a stroke before the end of WWII. Like Lincoln, he stayed dead after the war so he couldn't do what this jerk says he did. You'll recall that Harry S. Truman made the decision to drop two nuclear bombs on Japan, ending World War II. He made no deals for prisoners. We went in and released them when necessary.

4. None of the Presidents that Obama noted were in office at the ends of those wars, making it impossible for them to make any sort of prisoner swaps, let alone the 5 for 1, plus unspecified cash, for a deserter and traitor by our "57 States" president.

5. It should be pointed out that countless deserters and traitors were shot or hung during all three of the aforementioned wars. (Only one (1) that I know of in WWII.)

What amazes one even more than the ignorance of the President is that he has managed to surround himself with a staff that is just as clueless – or willing, as the media are, to cover for his dumb, lying rhetoric and behavior!

P.S. Obama mentioned while being interviewed on Super Bowl Sunday while in the Whitehouse kitchen, that George Washington drank beer in the White House when he was president. George Washington never lived in the White House; it wasn't built yet.

And now you know, the rest of the story!

Two patients limp into two different doctors' offices with the same complaint:

Both have trouble walking and may require hip surgery.

Patient 1 is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day, and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

Patient 2 sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week, and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then, pending the review board's decision on his age and remaining value to society.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The FIRST is a Golden Retriever taken to a vet.

The SECOND is a Senior Citizen on ObamaCare.

In November, if there is no change in government, we'll all have to find a good vet.

A large jet plane has crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky, feared to be Air Force One. Panic stricken, the local sheriffs department has mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left, smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man’s tractor. “Hank,” the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath.

“Did you see this terrible accident happen?” “Yep. Sure did,” the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor’s engine. Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?” “Yep.” “Were there any survivors?” “Nope. They’s all kilt straight out, “the farmer answered. “I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.” “President Obama is dead?” the sheriff asked. “Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor, “He kept a-saying he wasn’t, but you know how bad that sumbitch lies.”

Publisher's Prediction: Che T-Shirt sales will skyrocket among the Zombies

I was at the pub yesterday, and I ran into Tarzan.

I asked him how it was going, and if he was making any more movies.

He told me,

"Me no longer make movies, me have severe arthritis, both shoulders bad and not swing from vine to tree no more".

I asked about Boy, and he told me "Boy, gone big city,
get with bad women, on drugs and alcoholic; 
and only time hear from him, when in trouble or need something".

I asked how Jane was doing?

He told me,

"Jane in bad shape, in nursing home, has bad Alzheimer's and not recognizes anyone". How sad!

I asked about Cheeta: He beamed and said,

"Cheeta do good. She marry lawyer, had plastic surgery,
now live in White House!!!

FOR AMERIKA'S MEATHEADS AND DINGBATS

South Carolina Senator Tim Scott got into the Holiday Spirit by penning and tweeking the following yuletide favorite:

>>> Click To Enlarge >>>

Mike Gallagher is one of the most recognized talk radio personality in the country. He is heard by over 2.25 million listeners weekly. He compiled and wrote the following essay entitled, "Obama: It Was You" President Obama:

This is why you didn't go to France to show solidarity against the Muslim terrorists:

*It was you who spoke these words at an Islamic dinner -"I am one of you."

*It was you who on ABC News referenced -"My Muslim faith."

*It was you who gave $100 million in U.S. taxpayer funds to re-build foreign mosques.

*It was you who wrote that in the event of a conflict-"I will stand with the Muslims."

*It was you who assured the Egyptian Foreign Minister that -"I am a Muslim."

*It was you who bowed in submission before the Saudi King.

*It was you who sat for 20 years in a Liberation Theology Church condemning Christianity and professing Marxism.

*It was you who exempted Muslims from penalties under Obamacare that the rest of us have to pay.

*It was you who purposefully omitted - "endowed by our Creator " - from your recitation of The Declaration Of Independence.

*It was you who mocked the Bible and Jesus Christ's Sermon On The Mount while repeatedly referring to the 'HOLY' Qur'an.

*It was you who traveled the Islamic world denigrating the United States Of America.

*It was you who instantly threw the support of your administration behind the building of the Ground Zero Victory mosque overlooking the hallowed crater of the World Trade Center.

*It was you who refused to attend the National Prayer Breakfast, but hastened to host an Islamic prayer breakfast at the White House.

*It was you who ordered Georgetown Univ. and Notre Dame to shroud all vestiges of Jesus Christ BEFORE you would agree to go there to speak, but in contrast, you have NEVER requested that the mosques you have visited to adjust their decor.

*It was you who appointed anti-Christian fanatics to your Czar Corps.

*It was you who appointed rabid Islamists to Homeland Security.

*It was you who said that NASA's "foremost mission" was an outreach to Muslim communities.

*It was you who as an Illinois Senator was the ONLY individual who would speak in favor of infanticide.

*It was you who were the first President not to give a Christmas Greeting from the White House,and went so far as to hang photos of Chairman Mao on the WH tree.

*It was you who curtailed the military tribunals of all Islamic terrorists.

*It was you who refused to condemn the Ft. Hood killer as an Islamic terrorist.

*It is you who has refused to speak-out concerning the horrific executions of women throughout the Muslim culture, but yet, have submitted Arizona to the UN for investigation of hypothetical human-rights abuses.

*It was you who when queried in India refused to acknowledge the true extent of radical global Jihadists, and instead profusely praised Islam in a country that is 82% Hindu and the victim of numerous Islamic terrorists assaults.

*It was you who funneled $900 Million in U.S. taxpayer dollars to Hamas.

*It was you who ordered the USPS to honor the MUSLIM holiday with a new commemorative stamp.

*It was you who directed our UK Embassy to conduct outreach to help "empower" the British Muslim community.

*It was you who funded mandatory Arabic language and culture studies in Grammar schools across our country.

*It is you who follows the Muslim custom of not wearing any form of jewelry during Ramadan.

*It is you who departs for Hawaii over the Christmas season so as to avoid past criticism for NOT participating in seasonal WH religious events.

*It was you who was uncharacteristically quick to join the chorus of the Muslim Brotherhood to depose Egypt's Hosni Mubarak, formerly America's strongest ally in North Africa; but, remain muted in your non-response to the Brotherhood led slaughter of Egyptian Christians.

*It was you who appointed your chief adviser, Valerie Jarrett, an Iranian, who is a member of the Muslim Sisterhood, an off-shoot of the Muslim Brotherhood.

*It was you who said this country is not a Christian nation.

Egyptian TV host Ahmed Moussa recently stated some pretty harsh statements, accusations and suggestions for the U.S. Congress about Obama, post-San Bernardino.

Moussa's sentiments are probably what are on a lot of peoples' minds, but as publisher, I won't post them here. But, The Free State Of PIG, being a forum for differing and dissenting opinions and commentary, will provide a link to a clip of Moussa's tirade.

Ouch!

>>> Moussa Sez >>>

I am sorry if I have not been very responsive to your Emails lately. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF). For those of you who do not know what that is; PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that has been found to be widespread and highly contagious.

January, 2015 - Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing a new disease that has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue its rapid spread. The disease itself affects the cells of a person's entire body then goes dormant. The disease ravages the body and leaves serious side effects. These side effects have been labeled as PIST-AWF.

Symptoms include:

* Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing your president pander to Muslim terrorists.

* Uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the O'Reilly factor.

* Loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama - twice.

* Extreme pain and discomfort due to vomiting from seeing terrorists murdering innocent people nightly.

* Bleeding from the eyes. This is not E-bola. It is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a legitimate news show host and presidential confidant.

Since the disease consumes the entire body, every infected person is then identified as the disease itself.

If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure.

It is expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available in November of 2016.

"Ronald Reagan will go down in history as a president who made the world safer and freer. Obama will go down in history as one of the worst, most divisive, most shallow, most foolish, most immature presidents. As an historian, I am hard pressed to think of a worse president than Obama."

– Presidential historian Craig Shirley compares Obama to Reagan

Just passing this on with no comment, interesting observation though.

The Wedding ring is in for repair again this year. Since when does a plain wedding band need repairs, along with your watch, for a whole month?

In a press conference last week Obama was not wearing his wedding ring nor was he wearing his watch.

When noticed, his staff said his ring was out for repairs.

No reason was given for the missing watch.

So it's just a coincidence that Muslims are forbidden from wearing jewelry during the month of Ramadan...

Can't possibly be that, because although he hasn't gone to a Christian church service since entering the White House, we know he's a committed Christian "cause he said so during his campaign".

This is the same president that spent the Christmas holidays in Hawaii to avoid religious obligations as president at the White House.

His children do not receive Christmas presents. Let's just face the facts and quit trying to distort the truth, we have a Muslim for president in the White House, and he has no knowledge of American history.

"In Chaos Theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic, nonlinear system can result in large differences in a larger state."

In other words, a butterfly flapping its wings in Texas can cause a typhoon in the Japanese Sea.

Consider this. An 18 year old hippie, freshman slut, in Honolulu had sex with an older, alcoholic Kenyan politician on a student visa, who had a wife and child in Kenya. And from this "roll in the hay" comes the collapse and dissolution of the United States of America in the 21st Century.

Interesting isn't it. It makes you a firm believer in the "butterfly effect."

From PIGster GM

IF YOU HAD A HUNCH THE NEWS SYSTEM WAS SOMEWHAT RIGGED AND YOU COULDN'T PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT, THIS MIGHT HELP YOU SOLVE THE PUZZLE.

ABC News executive producer Ian Cameron is married to Susan Rice, National Security Adviser.

CBS President David Rhodes is the brother of Ben Rhodes, Obama's Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategic Communications.

ABC News correspondent Claire Shipman is married to former White House Press Secretary Jay Carney.

ABC News and Univision reporter Matthew Jaffe is married to Katie Hogan, Obama's Deputy Press Secretary.

ABC President Ben Sherwood is the brother of Obama's Special Adviser Elizabeth Sherwood.

CNN President Virginia Moseley is married to former Hillary Clinton's Deputy Secretary Tom Nides.

And now you know why it is no surprise the media usually goes very easy on Obama's constant errors.

Ya think there might be a little bias in the news?

Yeah, I Think so!

Obama's Plans to Visit Roseburg Incite Protest

>>> Punching Bag Post >>>

"Ordinary men and women are too small-minded to govern their own affairs...individuals must surrender their rights to an all-powerful sovereign."
- Attributed to Obama

>>> Click For More >>>

A: Obama is the only one wearing gloves.

*Publisher's Note: Found it. Read it. Laughed at it and agree with it..

The state of North Dakota has named a new publicly-owned landfill after President Barack Obama.

In an overwhelming 35-10 vote, the state Senate advanced a bill naming a 650-acre site currently under construction after the nation’s 44th president.

Governor Jack Dalrymple is expected to sign the measure into law Tuesday.

When completed, the Barack Obama Memorial Landfill will be the largest waste disposal site in North Dakota, and the 17th largest in the United States. It will be especially rich in toxic waste from the local petroleum and medical industries.

“We wanted to do something to honor the president,” says Republican State Senator Doug Perlman, who was the lead sponsor of the bill. “And I think a pile of garbage is a fitting tribute to Obama’s presidency.

“We originally planned on naming it after a nearby mountain. But then someone jokingly suggested we name it after Obama. I never thought an idea like that would actually pass. But I was pleasantly surprised.”

The president is hardly popular in North Dakota. The most recent poll in December 2013 found that Obama has a 35% approval rating in the state, although that figure may have fallen further in the year since. Yet even considering the political climate, seasoned observers are surprised  that two Democratic lawmakers voted for the bill’s passage

“I supported Obama because I thought he would end the wars in the Middle East;” says Allison Mitchell, a progressive Democrat from Grand Forks. “But he decided to fight new wars abroad instead of fighting for single-payer health care and jobs here at home.

“I guess people expected me to oppose this landfill thing because I’m a Democrat. But honestly I don’t really care anymore. Maybe this small act of protest will wake him up.”

Ordinary citizens in the state also seem to approve of the government’s choice.

“I can’t think of a better name,” says Joe Blough, a plumber from Minot. “It’s darkly colored and it's full of shit. That pretty much sums up Obama.”

Obama Greeted by Confederate Flag Wavers in Oklahoma:

>>> Full Story >>>

In a recent survey commissioned by President Obama, his supporters have proven to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower. The survey was carried out for Democrats by a leading soap and toiletries firm.

The results revealed that 86% of Obama supporters said that they have had sex in the shower.

The remaining 14% said they haven't been to prison yet.

Sort of brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?

The next time you find yourself in the postion of dealing with a low information voting, Kool-Aid swiling Obama-Zombie who thinks Obama really does walk on water, arm yourself with these following tid-bits that prove Obama's shit DOES stink (really bad,too) and it ought to shut Zombie the hell up:

"Obama has quite the legacy. Iraq was quiet, now a violent hell hole. Same for Libya. The ISIS "JV team" is murdering thousands. Iran, a state sponsor of terrorism, is much closer to getting a nuclear bomb. our former allies Egypt and Israel have been alienated, China is moving to dominate its neighbors, while "flexibility" and the reset with Russia has led to the conquest of parts of the Ukraine (and they are eying the Baltic Republics). And Obama says the world is safer than it's been in years.

Meanwhile at home, there is the IRS scandal, the fast and furious scandal, the Benghazi scandal, the debt that he called "unpatriotic" under Bush has doubled, illegal aliens are flooding the system threatening economic collapse, Obama has been caught in lie after lie about Obamacare (which adds to the looming fiscal disaster), about Benghazi, about transparency and about being against gay marriage in 2008.

I can't think of another president with half that legacy."

– Robert A. Hall

Written by Mike Gallagher, an American radio host and conservative political commentator. He is the host of The Mike Gallagher Show

Many listeners have asked about the, “Obama: It Was You,” essay that someone sent me. Here it is:

President Obama: This is why you didn’t go to France to show solidarity against the Muslim terrorists:

It was you who spoke these words at an Islamic dinner – “I am one of you.”

It was you who on ABC News referenced – “My Muslim faith.”

It was you who gave $100 million in U.S. taxpayer funds to re-build foreign mosques.

It was you who wrote that in the event of a conflict -“I will stand with the Muslims.”

It was you who assured the Egyptian Foreign Minister that – “I am a Muslim.”

It was you who bowed in submission before the Saudi King.

It was you who sat for 20 years in a Liberation Theology Church condemning Christianity and professing Marxism.

It was you who exempted Muslims from penalties under Obamacare that the rest of us have to pay.

It was you who purposefully omitted – “endowed by our Creator” – from your recitation of The Declaration Of Independence .

It was you who mocked the Bible and Jesus Christ’s Sermon On The Mount while repeatedly referring to the ‘HOLY’ Quran.

It was you who traveled the Islamic world denigrating the United States Of America .

It was you who instantly threw the support of your administration behind the building of the Ground Zero Victory mosque overlooking the hallowed crater of the World Trade Center .

It was you who refused to attend the National Prayer Breakfast, but hastened to host an Islamic prayer breakfast at the WH.

It was you who ordered Georgetown Univ. and Notre Dame to shroud all vestiges of Jesus Christ BEFORE you would agree to go there to speak, but in contrast, you have NEVER requested that the mosques you have visited adjust their decor.

It was you who appointed anti-Christian fanatics to your Czar Corps.

It was you who appointed rabid Islamists to Homeland Security.

It was you who said that NASA’s “foremost mission” was an outreach to Muslim communities.

It was you who as an Illinois Senator was the ONLY individual who would speak in favor of infanticide.

It was you who were the first President not to give a Christmas Greeting from the WH, and went so far as to hang photos of Chairman Mao on the WH tree.

It was you who curtailed the military tribunals of all Islamic terrorists.

It was you who refused to condemn the Ft. Hood killer as an Islamic terrorist.

It is you who has refused to speak-out concerning the horrific executions of women throughout the Muslim culture, but yet, have submitted Arizona to the UN for investigation of hypothetical human-rights abuses.

It was you who when queried in India refused to acknowledge the true extent of radical global Jihadists, and instead profusely praised Islam in a country that is 82% Hindu and the victim of numerous Islamic terrorists assaults.

It was you who funneled $900 Million in U.S. taxpayer dollars to Hamas.

It was you who ordered the USPS to honor the MUSLIM holiday with a new commemorative stamp.

It was you who directed our UK Embassy to conduct outreach to help “empower” the British Muslim community.

It was you who embraced the fanatical Muslim Brotherhood in your quest to overthrow the Egyptian President, Hosni Mubarak.

It was you who funded mandatory Arabic language and culture studies in Grammar schools across our country.

It is you who follows the Muslim custom of not wearing any form of jewelry during Ramadan.

It is you who departs for Hawaii over the Christmas season so as to avoid past criticism for NOT participating in seasonal WH religious events.

It was you who was un-characteristically quick to join the chorus of the Muslim Brotherhood to depose Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak, formerly America’s strongest ally in North Africa; but, remain muted in your non-response to the Brotherhood led slaughter of Egyptian Christians.

It was you who appointed your chief adviser, Valerie Jarrett, an Iranian, who is a member of the Muslim Sisterhood, an off-shoot of the Muslim Brotherhood

The above provides the basis for virtually everything Obama does.

While walking down Pennsylvania Avenue one fine afternoon on his way back to the White House to sign executive orders banning certain types of ammunition and edible school lunches, President Barack Obama is tragically hit by a Prius and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and he’s met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Welcome to Heaven, Mr. Obama,” St. Peter says. “Before you settle in, it seems there’s a problem. We seldom see an American head of state around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” Obama tells St. Peter.

“If only it were that easy, Mr. Obama,” St. Peter clucks.  “I’d like to, I really would — but I have orders from higher-ups. What we’re going to do is spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where you spend your eternity.”

“Excuse me, St. Peter,” Obama says. “I’m pretty sure I would prefer Heaven, and I’m pretty sure I deserve Heaven. I was the first African-American president, and I saved America through hope, change, transparency … ”

“What about Solyndra?”

“Look, we all make mistak–”

“Or how about Jonathan Gruber?”

“WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, OKAY?!”

St. Peter sighed. “Well, regardless. I’m sorry, Mr. Obama, but rules are rules.” With that, he escorts Obama to the elevator to go down in to the depths of Avernus.

The doors open and Obama finds himself in the middle of his favorite golf course. In the distance is a club and in front of it are Frank Marshall Davis, Lyndon Baines Johnson and many of his Chicago compatriots who had passed on.

Furthermore, on the lawn chairs outside of the club, there were signs hung on the back that said the seats were reserved for several of his closest friends and allies, including Susan Rice, Bill Ayers and Rahm Emmanuel.

Everyone greets the deceased president and tells him what a wonderful job he did. Then, all of the Democrats begin talking about the great times they had getting rich off of those who voted for them.

The Devil comes by to meet Obama and orders lobster and caviar for everyone. They have a great time telling jokes and whiling away the hours drinking champagne. Finally, it’s time to go back up to Heaven.

St. Peter dropped Obama off in paradise, where he spends a good, if uneventful 24 hours strumming harps and spinning tales with Ronald Reagan and Abraham Lincoln on clouds. It’s fun, but not nearly as much his time in Hell.

When St. Peter comes back, he tells the president, “Well, there you have it. 24 hours in Hell, and 24 hours in Heaven. What’ll it be?”

“I know this sounds crazy,” Obama tells St. Peter. “However, it seems like Hell is better. I think I’ll go there.”

“As you wish,” St. Peter says. He sends him down on the elevator, and suddenly, he finds himself in the middle of a barren, scorched desert, covered in detritus and human waste. He sees everyone he was laughing with yesterday, dressed in rags and picking up trash in vain.

The Devil comes over to Obama and hands him a bag. “Get working, ye fool!” Satan says.

“I … I don’t get it,” Obama stammers. “Yesterday we were golfing and having a great time. What happened?”

The Devil lowers his head and clucks. “Silly Obama. You of all people should understand. Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted for us!” (H/T The Federalist Papers Project)

8 Times Obama Says He Was Way Out of the Loop
by sattkisson

It's a remarkable irony: the same U.S. president whose administration has gone to great lengths to monitor journalists, whistleblowers and the public, claims to be oddly in the dark regarding basic information on some of his biggest controversies.

Here are eight instances in which President Obama said he heard it on the news—or way after-the-fact—just like ordinary Americans.

1. Controversial Air Force One Photo Op Flyover

Perhaps the first time we heard President Obama say he didn't know about a major national event before the rest of us was when an Air Force One plane (not carrying the president at the time) made an unannounced pass over the Statue of Liberty on April 27, 2009. It turned out to be a White House-approved photo op, but panicked New Yorkers feared it might be some sort of terrorist attack. The next day, President Obama told reporters,

"It was something that, uh, we found out about, uh, along with all of you."

2. Fast and Furious Cross-Border Operation Supplying Guns to Cartels

Fast and Furious was a cross-border operation under the Justice Department in which federal agents let thousands of weapons be trafficked to Mexico's killer drug cartels. Though illegal immigrants used Fast and Furious guns to murder a U.S. Border Patrol Agent in Dec. of 2010, President Obama says he remained in the dark about the whole thing until it was on the news weeks later.

On Oct. 12, 2011 Obama told reporters, "I heard on the news about this story, that, uh, Fast and Furious."

For good measure, Attorney General Eric Holder—who had been sent regular briefings on Fast and Furious, a case approved by his criminal division—also said he was clueless about the case.

3. Gen. Petraeus' Sex Scandal

White House officials said President Obama was kept in the dark for months as the FBI investigated his CIA Director, Gen. David Petraeus, in a sex scandal. Meantime, Obama could have been hit with a surprise question about the scandal at any time on the campaign trail, in the midst of his 2012 bid for re-election. White House officials have refused to answer the question as to when, exactly, Obama was finally briefed.

4. The IRS Using Nixonian Tactics Against Conservative Groups

President Obama said he was likewise unaware of the nation's tax agency targeting conservative groups.

In May of 2013, a reporter asked the president: "When did you first learn that the IRS was targeting conservative political groups?"

Obama answered:

"I first learned about it from the same news reports that I think most people learned about this. I think it was on Friday."

5. The Secret Seizure of AP News Reporters' Phone Records

When it became public that the Obama administration had secretly seized phone records of AP news reporters, the White House said President

Obama hadn't known about it.

Obama spokesman Jay Carney told reporters in May of 2013,
"We don't have any independent knowledge of that, [President Obama] found out about the news reports uh yesterday on the road."

6. NSA Spying on Foreign Leaders

President Obama said he had no idea his government was spying on foreign leaders as outlined in an Inspector's General report—until it was leaked to the news. On Oct. 28, 2013 he said,

"I can assure you that I certainly did not know anything about the IG report before the IG report had been leaked through the press."

7. Veterans Affairs Scandal

In May of 2014, White House spokesman Carney said that the President was clueless about the waiting list scandal and coverup involving medical care for military veterans.

Carney told reporters, "You mean the specific allegations that I think were reported first by your news network out of Phoenix, I believe. We learned about them through the reports. I will double check if that is not the case. But that is when we learned about them and that is when I understand [V.A.] Secretary Shinseki learned about them, and he immediately took the action that he has taken."

8. Hillary Clinton's Email Arrangement

President Obama says he didn't know about former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's use of a private email address and server for official business until the New York Times published it in a story. The president told CBS News' Bill Plante that he found out "the same time everybody else learned it through news reports."

Earlier, White House press secretary Josh Earnest told reporters, "I have no idea when the president first learned" about it. But he foreshadowed the eventual explanation stating,

"I wouldn't be surprised, however, if he had learned about that by reading the newspaper."

Only weeks after leaving office on Jan. 20, 2017, former President Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Troy the Plumber to come out and fix it.

Troy drives to Obama’s new house, which is located in a very exclusive, gated community near Chicago where all the residents have a net income of way more than $250,000 per year.

Troy arrives and takes his tools into the house. He is led to the guest bathroom that contains the leaky pipe under the sink. Troy assesses the problem and tells Obama that it’s an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes. Obama asks Troy how much it will cost. Troy checks his rate chart and says, “$9,500.”

“What?! $9,500?!” Obama asks, stunned, “But you said it’s an easy repair. Michelle will whip me if I pay a plumber that much!”

Troy says, “Yes, but what I do is charge those who make more than $250,000 per year a much higher amount so I can fix the plumbing of poorer people for free. This has always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied the Democrat Congress, who passed this philosophy into law. Now all plumbers must do business this way. It’s known as the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014′. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it.”

In spite of that, Obama tells Troy there’s no way he’s paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Troy leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book calling for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses in the area have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Troy’s price, Obama does nothing and the leak goes un-repaired for several more days. A week later the leak is so bad Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink.

Michelle is not happy as she has Oprah and guests arriving the next morning. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there’s a risk the room will flood, so Obama calls Troy and pleads with him to return.

Troy goes back to Obama’s house, looks at the leaky pipe, checks his new rate chart and says, “Let’s see, this will now cost you $21,000.”
Obama quickly fires back, “What? A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!”

Troy explains, “Well, because of the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act,’ a lot of wealthier people are learning how to maintain and take care of their own plumbing, so there are fewer payers in the plumbing exchanges. As a result, the price I have to charge wealthy people like you keeps rising. Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work by those who get it for free has skyrocketed! There’s a long waiting list of those who need repairs, but the amount we get doesn’t cover our costs, especially paperwork and record-keeping. This unfortunately has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, they’re not being replaced, and nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they can’t make any money at it. I’m hurting too, all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won’t pay their ‘fair share’. On the other hand, why didn’t you buy plumbing insurance last December? If you had bought plumbing insurance available under the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act,’ all this would have been covered by your policy.”

“You mean I wouldn’t have to pay anything to have you fix my plumbing problem?” asks Obama.

“Well, not exactly,” replies Troy. “You would have had to buy the insurance before the deadline, which has passed now. And, because you’re rich, you would have had to pay $34,000 in premiums, which would have given you a ‘silver’ plan, and then, since this would have been your first repair, you would have to pay up to the $21,000 deductible, and anything over that would have a $7,500 co-pay, and then there’s the mandatory maintenance program, which is covered up to 17.5%, so there are some costs involved. Nothing is for free.”

“WHAT?!” exclaims Obama. “Why so much for a puny sink leak?!”

With a bland look, Troy replies, “Well, paperwork, mostly, like I said. And the internal cost of the program itself. You don’t think a program of this complexity and scope can run itself, do you? Besides, there are millions of folks with lower incomes than you, even many in the ‘middle class’, who qualify for subsidies that people like you must support. That’s why they call it the Affordable Plumbing Act’! Only people who don’t make much money can afford it. If you want affordable plumbing, you’ll have to give away most of what you have accumulated and cut your and Michelle’s income by about 90%. Then you can qualify to get your ‘Fair Share’ instead of giving it.”

“But who would pass a crazy act like the ‘Affordable Plumbing Act’?!” exclaims the exasperated Obama.

After a sigh, Troy replies, “Congress… because they didn’t read it.”

Will we make it into 2017?

For the SHOCK of your life, take 1 minute to comprehend what you read below.

During our lifetimes, all Presidents have issued Executive Orders. For various reasons, some have issued more than others. These things will directly affect us all, in years to come.

Ike - 2 in 8 year

Kennedy - 4 in 3 year

LBJ - 4 in 5 years

Nixon - 1 in 6 years

Ford - 3 in 2 years

Carter - 3 in 4 years

Reagan - 5 in 8 years

Bush - 3 in 4 years

Clinton - 15 in 8 years

George W. Bush - 62 in 8 years

Obama - 923 in 3 1/2 years! More than 1000+ and counting Executive Orders in 6 years.

Read some of them below - unbelievable!

If you don't get the implications, you're not paying attention. How come all the other presidents in the past 100 years have not found it necessary to INCREASE GOVERNMENT'S POWER OVER THE PEOPLE with more than 1,000 Executive Orders? This is really very scary.

And most Americans have absolutely no idea what is happening. Yes, there is a reason that this president is determined to take control away from the house and the senate. Even some Democrats in the House have turned on him, plus a very small number of Democrat Senators have questioned him. Rightfully so.

What is Obama really trying to accomplish? Remember what he told Russia's Putin: I'll be more flexible after the election.

Now look at these:

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10990 – Allows the government to take over all modes of transportation and control of highways and seaports.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10995 – allows the government to seize and control the communication media.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10997 – allows the government to take over all electrical power, gas, petroleum, fuels and minerals.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 10998 – allows the government to take over all food resources and farms.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11000 – allows the government to mobilize civilians into work brigades under government supervision.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11001 – allows the government to take over all health, education and welfare function.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11002 – designates the registration of all persons. Postmaster General to operate a national registration.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11003 – allows the government to take over all airports and aircraft, including commercial aircraft.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11004 – allows the Housing and Finance Authority to relocate communities, build new housing with public funds, designate areas to be abandoned, and establish new locations for populations.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11005 – allows the government to take over railroads, inland waterways and public storage facilities.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11049 – assigns emergency preparedness function to federal departments and agencies, consolidating 21 operative Executive Orders issued over a fifteen year period.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11051 – specifies the responsibility of the Office of Emergency Planning and gives authorization to put all Executive Orders into effect in times of increased international tensions and economic or financial crisis.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11310 – grants authority to the Department of Justice to enforce the plans set out in Executive Orders, to institute industrial support, to establish judicial and legislative liaison, to control all aliens, to operate penal and correctional institutions, and to advise and assist the President.

EXECUTIVE ORDER 11921 – allows the Federal Emergency Preparedness Agency to develop plans to establish control over the mechanisms of production and distribution, of energy sources, wages, salaries, credit and the flow of money in U.S. Financial institution in any undefined national emergency.

It also provides that when a state of emergency is declared by the President, Congress cannot review the action for six months.
Feel free to verify the "executive orders" at will... and these are just the major ones.

I'm sure you've all heard the tale of the "Frog in the Pot"... Watch Obama's actions, not his words! By his actions he will show you where America is headed.

Obama has issued executive orders that seek to "harmonize" U.S. Economic regulations with the rest of the world. These executive orders are yet another incremental step that is pushing us closer to a North American Union and a one world economic system.

Obama has actually accomplished quite a bit, and here’s a long list of his accomplishments, so stop bashing, Haters!

First President to be photographed smoking a joint.

First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.

First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.

First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States.

First President to violate the War Powers Act.

First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico.

First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.

First President to spend a trillion dollars on “shovel-ready” jobs when there was no such thing as “shovel-ready” jobs.

First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.

First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.

First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those with criminal convictions.

First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.

First President to tell a CEO of a major corporation (Chrysler) to resign.

First President to terminate America’s ability to put a man in space.

First President to cancel the National Day of Prayer and to say that America is no longer a Christian nation.

First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.

First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.

First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke out on the reasons for their rate increases.

First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory.

First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).

First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.

First President to actively try to bankrupt an American industry (coal).

First President to fire an inspector general of AmeriCorps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.

First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.

First President to surround himself with radical left wing anarchists.
First President to golf more than 150 separate times in his five years in office.

First President to hide his birth, medical, educational and travel records.

First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.

First President to go on multiple “global apology tours” and concurrent “insult our friends” tours.

First President to go on over 17 lavish vacations, in addition to date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends paid for by the taxpayers.

First President to have personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.

First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.

First President to fly in a personal trainer from Chicago at least once a week at taxpayer expense.

First President to repeat the Quran and tell us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.

First President to side with a foreign nation over one of the American 50 states (Mexico vs Arizona).

First President to tell the military men and women that they should pay for their own private insurance because they “volunteered to go to war and knew the consequences.”

Then he was the First President to tell the members of the military that THEY were UNPATRIOTIC for balking at the last suggestion.

It’s hard to comprehend all this guy has gotten away with. Any other president would have been impeached! What in God’s name is wrong with our government that they allow this guy carte blanch? It absolutely boggles the mind!

Wesley Pruden Washington Times

The threat of radical Islamic terrorism is so clear and plain that even a president could see it. But Barack Obama is blind, deaf or indifferent, and maybe all three, and determined to keep himself that way.

At his White House conference on "extremism" — where it came from and where it wants to go left carefully unsaid — he proposed "building a global partnership" to "show the world the power of peaceful communities instead of extremist violence." This is a reprise of the War on Poverty from the previous century, a "Jobs for ISIS" approach as set out earlier in the week by an ignorant spokeswoman for the State Department.

The president sometimes insists he's willing to shoot somebody if that's what it takes to deal with the growing worldwide plague of gangster religion, but so far he can't find a suitable somebody to shoot. He can't see the Islamic terror that everybody else sees. The president is big on the transforming game, but transforming Islamic terror, whose name the president dares not speak, into a branch of the League of Women Voters is a task far beyond even his magic powers.

The president, eager to speak up for Islam every time he sees a microphone or a reporter's notebook, obviously wants to be the man to defend the faith that frightens the world. This is unfair to the millions of Muslims who want only to worship in their own way, take care of their families, mind their own business and wish their neighbors well, but everyone who reads the newspapers and watches the television newscasts worries about the approach of the enemy, perverters as they may be, which the president cannot see.

ISIS, which calls itself "the Islamic State," beheading Christians (including Americans), crucifying children and burning men alive in the name of Islam, is reduced by Mr. Obama to "individuals from various religions" who practice "hateful ideologies." He does not say who the "individuals from various religions" may be. Episcopalians? Buddhist monks? Baptist missionaries? Jewish rabbis? Roman Catholic nuns?

Mr. Obama does not retreat from assigning to Christians the blame for unspeakable atrocities, whether for the Crusades 700 years ago or the shooting by a militant atheist of three Muslim students in an argument over a parking place in North Carolina. In an editorial page essay this week in the Los Angeles Times, the president concedes that "we do not yet know why" the Muslim students were killed. The cops aren't yet sure, either, but it's never too early to lay the blame on Christians, who clearly get under this president's skin.

Mr. Obama, born of a Muslim father, raised by a mother who did not hide her scorn for America, and educated in a Muslim school during his formative early years, has lately become aggressive in defending Islam from its American critics. He says things that an educated American, even an American who speaks of 57 states, should know are not so.

"Islam," he told his White House conference on extremism this week, "has been woven into the fabric of our country since its founding." Who knew that? Generations of an earlier time rarely heard of Muslims, who were called "Mohammedians," and who lived somewhere over the oceans.

"Generations of Muslim immigrants," the president said, "came here and went to work as farmers and merchants and factory workers, helped to lay railroads and build up America. The first Islamic center in New York City was founded in the 1890s. America's first mosque — this was an interesting fact — was in North Dakota."

Someone at the White House who knows better (if there is someone at the White House who knows better) should tell the president that America was founded in the 18th century, not the 19th, and North Dakota was an uncharted wilderness when the Founding Fathers were weaving the fabric of America. It's nice for the Muslims in North Dakota to have a mosque, but the president need not write an alternative history of America to make Muslims (or Methodists or Mennonites, for that matter) feel good about themselves. He should leave fanciful writing of history to Brian Williams.

Nor should the president, who gags on saying the word "Christian," make up stories about terrorism in America. "We all know there is one profile of a violent extremist or terrorist," he told his friends at the White House. "Around the world and in the United States in excusable acts of violence have been committed against people of different faiths, by people of different faiths, which is of course betrayal of all faiths." The president shouldn't take credit for crap like that. He should sack that speechwriter.

>>> More Branco >>>

Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods.

He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off and Ole took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin.

Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his doctor, Sven. “Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Da good news is dat you are going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot.”

“What’s the bad news?”, asks Ole

“The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ..”

“Well, I guess that isn’t too bad,” says Ole. “Is your sister a plastic surgeon?”

“Not exactly,” Sven says. “She’s a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra.

And because all you have is Obamacare, She’s going to teach you vhere to put your fingers, so you don’t pee in your eye.”

“Obama looked at Michelle, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”

Michelle shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

Hearing their exchange, the pilot of the plane said to his co-pilot,“Such big-shots back there. I could throw both of them out of the window and make 256 million people very happy!”

“Obama looked at Michelle, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”

Michelle shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

Hearing their exchange, the pilot of the plane said to his co-pilot, “Such big-shots back there. I could throw both of them out of the window and make
256 million people very happy!”

>>> Racist Toon? Read Article >>>

By all accounts, Harold was a bright child.   He grew up in America.   He went to school and had a bright future ahead of him.

Harold’s full life was cut short in a violent moment.

While few people had ever heard of Harold before his death, many did afterwards.

And in death, something shocking happened.

What was so shocking, especially when it is compared to the death of someone else recently in the news?

Harold is Harold Greene, Major General United States Army.

On August 5th, General Greene was killed by a Taliban terrorist. He was returned to America with full military honors.

While Major General Greene was buried, Barack Obama was golfing.   The Vice President wasn’t there either. Flags were not even lowered to half staff.

Four days after Harold Greene gave his life for America, Michael Brown was killed in Ferguson Missouri.It is safe to say, Brown was at best a thug.
 
The media has repeatedly shown photos of Brown flashing gang signs.   Some media outlets have even associated him with a specific gang.   In the minutes before his death, Brown committed a robbery at a local convenience store. According to other reports, Brown struck officer Darren Wilson and shattered his orbital bone.

Obama is sending a three-person delegation to Michael Brown’s funeral.

Obama would not attend the funeral of the highest ranking military officer killed in the line of duty since 9/11, yet he will send a delegation to the funeral of a thug.

When Margaret Thatcher, one of America’s staunchest allies and Ronald Reagan’s partner in bringing down Soviet communism, died, Obama sent only a small low-level delegation to her funeral. The snub was not missed by the British.

When Chris Kyle, the most lethal American sniper in history was murdered, there was no expression of sympathy from the White House.There was no White House delegation at his funeral.

American heroes die and Obama goes to the golf course.

A thug dies and he gets a White House delegation.

No wonder real Americans hold Obama in contempt.

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: Barocky Road.

Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and is surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is never acknowledged, and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $99.94 per scoop…so out of a hundred dollar bill you get what he promised...some CHANGE..!

When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large, beautiful cone. However, after you pay for it, the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you at no charge.

You are left with an almost empty wallet, staring at an empty cone, with no ice cream, never any hope of getting any ice cream, and wondering what just happened.

Then you realize it...This is what “redistribution of wealth” is all about.

Do you feel stimulated?

"People shouldn't be so scared about this virus from Africa. He only has two more years of his presidency." - "Shameless" star Steve Howey

A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the man behind the
counter in the pro shop and says, "I would like 18 holes of golf and a
caddie."

The man behind the counter says, "The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but
all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this:
We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take
one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works,
your round of golf is on me today."

The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer. He approached the first
tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do
the job."

The robot caddie turned to the man and said, "No sir. Use your 3 wood. A
driver is far too much club for this hole." Hesitantly, the golfer pulled
out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about
10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his
assistance. As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, "I think this
green is gonna break left to right." The robot then again spoke up and
said, "No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left."

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he
decided again to listen to the machine. He made his putt and birdied the
hole thanks to the robot and his advice But his luck didn't end there. His
entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of
the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How
was your game ?" The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever
played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots. See you
next week."

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon
entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would like
18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, "Well
the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We
had too many complaints."

"COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could've not liked those robots? They were
incredible."

The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance. It was that
they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was
blinding to other golfers on the fair way."

The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"

The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did."

"Four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop and the other thinks he's the President ..."

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home.

Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.

"Hi there little girl, I'm President Obama. What do you have in the basket?" he asked.

"Kittens," little Suzy said.

"How old are they?" asked Obama.

Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"Democrats," answered Suzy with a smile.

Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of "FREE KITTENS," when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Republicans."

Taken by surprise, the president stammered, "But...but...yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know.

But today, they have their eyes open.

H.L. Mencken (born 1880 - died 1956) was a journalist, satirist, critic and registered Democrat

Mencken wrote the editorial below while working for the Baltimore Evening Sun, which appeared in the July 26,1920 edition.
 
"As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people.  On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron."
- H.L.  Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920
 
So it was written, and so it has come to pass...

20 Reasons You Wouldn't Want To Live In An America Controlled By Liberals Like Obama

John Hawkins | Jun 21, 2014

The only thing more disturbing than the arrogance, incompetence, and lawlessness of Barack Obama's administration is that most liberals are perfectly fine with everything he's doing. It's shocking that there are so many Americans who don't care about the Constitution, the rule of law, or even what happens to the country just as long as someone they agree with ideologically is in charge. In fact, the only time liberals seem to get really upset these days is if someone criticizes Barack Obama or tries to put ANY KIND of restraint on his power. Want to know how America would look if liberals like Barack Obama had complete control of the country?

1) Abortion would be the only "choice." Almost everything else including light bulbs, TVs, health care plans, cars, and the schools your child goes to would be chosen for you by people in D.C.

2) You could be sued for failing to warn people that you are about to say something that could conceivably be offensive to women, gays, transsexuals, or minorities.

3) Every sports fan of teams like the Redskins, Braves, Chiefs, Indians, Blackhawks, and Seminoles would be branded as a bigot and all of those teams would be forced to change their names.

4) We would have open borders and anyone who walks across would be welcome to sign up as a citizen and collect welfare, food stamps, and Social Security.

5) It would be illegal to say the Pledge of Allegiance or fly an American flag because it might "offend people."

6) All criticism of black and Hispanic politicians would be shrugged off and treated as racism.

7) Government investigations of liberal wrongdoing would be handled by friends, associates, or campaign contributors of the liberal being charged.

8) So many nuclear and coal plants would be shut down that we'd end up with regularly scheduled blackouts in many parts of the country.

9) Anyone could choose not to work and get a monthly stipend from the state -- well, until the money runs out.

10) Cities, states, and even well-connected big businesses that spend irresponsibly and go broke could always be bailed out by the federal government.

11) Women would have to get mandatory abortion counseling from Planned Parenthood before giving birth just to make sure they are ready to have a child.

12) Conservative talk radio, blogs, websites and especially Fox News would be regulated out of existence and only government-approved media sources would be allowed.

13) Christians and conservatives would have to hide their beliefs to get government jobs.

14) The IRS would be allowed to audit people solely for contributing to conservative candidates or being a member of conservative groups.

15) Men who have sex with women who are drinking would be treated as rapists by default.

16) Merit and even basic competence would be secondary in importance to hiring people who are the right race or sex for a job.

17) Any child who plays with a toy gun would be considered a potential psychopath and expelled from school.

18) Americans would only be allowed to buy tiny, overpriced electric cars that don't work very well.

19) It would be illegal to oppose gay marriage.

20) Guns would be confiscated from everyone except the criminals, the cops, the military, and the bodyguards for rich liberals.

The Pentagon stepped up the bombing of the ISIS terrorist army in Iraq Friday following a video of an ISIS jihadist beheading a U.S. journalist. It reflected White House anger. The bombing mission was a clear message to ISIS never to interrupt the president's vacation again.

>>>>>>>>>>>

President Obama took to the links at Martha's Vineyard Wednesday eight minutes after he announced the U.S. journalist's murder by ISIS. It drew heat. PGA pros who play with him say that President Obama is a pretty good golfer for a guy who only plays six or seven times a week.

>>>>>>>>>>>

President Obama continued vacationing Friday despite crises in Iraq, Ukraine, Gaza and Missouri. It proves that he's America's most transformational president. Did you ever think you'd see a U.S. president who could get Democrats to defend golf and Republicans to attack golf?

President Barack Obama and the Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons With No Ability. The Transportation Security Agency was a close runner up. Under the act, it will be perfectly acceptable to be in second place.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the inept include retail sales (72 percent), the airline industry (68 percent), and home-improvement warehouse stores (65 percent). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"

"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. Ill finally have job security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Vice President Joe Biden: "As an ex-senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so." 

Dear Valued Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices have to increase by about 10%. But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me as I believe we are family here. I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem.

They voted for change... I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

This is a relaxing and therapeutic screen saver.

As you watch this screen saver, if the falling figure gets stuck, all you have to do is drag the figure to the side a bit to avoid the obstacle. You can also grab the figure with the mouse and bash it into things.

Or you can place the figure between the obstacles and watch it flail helplessly, which may make you feel even better.

>>> HOPELESS >>>

Some would argue that she should expect to have some vaginal discomfort in light of the fact that her husband has been screwing 315 million people in the
U.S. alone!

Here is a list of his impressive accomplishments:

First President to apply for a college scholarship only available to eligible foreign students, then later deny he was a foreigner.

First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in, and had not visited before running.

First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States, twice.

First President to violate the War Powers Act.

First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico .

First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from third party private companies.

First President to spend a trillion dollars on "shovel-ready" jobs when there was no such thing as "shovel-ready" jobs.

First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to seize and turn over control of companies to his union supporters.

First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.

First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those with criminal convictions.

First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.

First President to tell a CEO of a major corporation (Chrysler) to resign.

First President to terminate America ’s ability to put a man in space.

First President to cancel the National Day of Prayer and to say that America is no longer a Christian nation.

First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.

First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.

First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke out on the reasons for their rate increases.

First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory.

First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).

First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.

First President to actively try to bankrupt an American industry (coal).

First President to fire an inspector general of AmeriCorps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.

First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.

First President to surround himself with radical left wing anarchists.

First President to golf more than 150 separate times in his five years in office.

First President to hide his birth, medical, educational and travel records.

First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.

First President to go on multiple "global apology tours" and concurrent "insult our friends" tours.

First President to go on over 17 lavish vacations, in addition to date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends paid for by the taxpayers.

First President to have personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.

First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.

First President to fly in a personal trainer from Chicago at least once a week at taxpayer expense.

First President to repeat the Holy Quran and tell us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is "the most beautiful sound on earth."

First President to side with a foreign nation over one of the American 50 states (Mexico vs Arizona).

First President to tell the military men and women that they should pay for their own private insurance because they "volunteered to go to war and knew the consequences."

Then he was the First President to tell the members of the military that THEY were UNPATRIOTIC for balking at the last suggestion. (Thank God he didn't get away with THIS one.)

So, how is this hope and change' working out for you?

It's hard to comprehend all this guy has gotten away with. Any other president would have been impeached!!!!  What in God's name is wrong with our government that they allow this guy carte blanche? It absolutely boggles my mind.

And yet we are all "RACISTS" for enumerating his INCOMPETENCE!!

SOMEBODY DID A LOT OF WORK FOR THIS.  YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHORT VIDEO

IT'S AN AMAZING  CREATIVE DIGITAL MASTER PIECE

>>> Send Out the Clowns >>>

You might be quite surprised. Most of us know of the comparable relationship between Lincoln and Kennedy; but Have you ever considered the comparisons between President Obama and Lincoln?

Parallels of Abraham Lincoln and Barack Hussein Obama:

1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used the very same Bible Lincoln used, for his inauguration.

2. Lincoln came from Illinois. Obama comes from Illinois.

3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the Illinois Legislature.

4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had very little experience before becoming President.

5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration.

6. Lincoln was highly respected by some, but intensely disliked by others. Obama is highly respected by some, but intensely disliked by others.

7. Abraham Lincoln was a tall, skinny lawyer. Barack Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.

8. Lincoln held to basic Conservative and Christian views. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.

9. Lincoln volunteered in the Illinois militia; once as a captain, twice as a private. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.

10. Lincoln firmly believed in able persons carrying their own weight. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.

11. Lincoln was undeniably, and without any doubt, born in the United States. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.

12. Lincoln was honest - so honest that he was called 'Honest Abe'. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.

13. Lincoln preserved the United States as a strong nation, respected by the world. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.

14. Lincoln showed his obvious respect for the flag, U.S. Constitution, and the military. Obama is a tall, skinny lawyer.

Amazing isn't it!

OOPS!

Dear Sir:

Our lab results confirm that the red ring around your penis was not cancer. It was lipstick.

We are sincerely sorry for the diagnostic error, apologize for the amputation, and regret any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Sincerely,

Your Obamacare Discount Surgeon and Diagnostic Center.

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what they need at home.

Joey says, "A computer."

The teacher replies, "That would be very useful."

Jenny says, "A new lawn mower."

The teacher again replies, "That would also be very useful."

Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don't need anything!"

The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something.

Little Johnny replies, "No I'm sure. When Obama was re-elected, I clearly remember my dad saying; well, that's the last f-ing thing we needed!".

Dear Family and Friends, 

Most of you know our friend Kathy went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift using the ObamaCare Medical Plan through her new state run insurance exchange.

She did not have the most pleasant experience. She should have left well enough alone.
 
We wanted to show you how it turned out. We hope this makes you aware of the quality of care you will receive from the Affordable Healthcare Act (ObamaCare)
 
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE . . do not get a Butt Lift using the ObamaCare Medical Plan  The ObamaCare qualified doctor was a 3rd year med student from another country making 12 bucks an hour.  

Kathy now regrets her decision... I think we will all regret ObamaCare.

FOOD FIGHT!!!!

I was driving through northern Illinois last night listening to a call-in program on WGN in Chicago. People were calling in all upset about the goat's head sent to Cubs owner Tom Ricketts at Wrigley Field.

It's possible the goat's head is in reference to a "curse" placed on the team during the 1945 World Series. Restaurant owner Billy Sianis brought his goat to a game, but was asked to leave and he vowed the team would never win again. The Cubs lost that series and have never been back. They last won a championship in 1908, the longest drought in professional sports.

Some guy called in and said, "Why are you all so upset cause someone sent a goat's head to Wrigley ... you are the guys that sent a horse's ass to the White House".

ObamaGolf

Receptionist: Hello, Welcome to ObamaGolf. My name is Trina. How can I help you?

Customer: Hello, I received an email from Golfsmith stating that my Pro V1 order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your web site, but it seems like it is not working. So I'm calling the 800 number.

Receptionist: Yes, I am sorry about the web site. It should be fixed by the end of 2014. But I can help you.

Customer: Thanks, I ordered some Pro V1 balls.

Receptionist: Sir, Pro V1's do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with a choice of Pinnacle, TopFlite, or Callaway Blue.

Customer: But I have played Pro V1 for years.

Receptionist: he government has determined that Pro V1s are no longer acceptable, so we have instructed Titleist to stop making them. TopFlites arebetter, sir, I am sure you will love them.

Customer: But I like the Pro V1. Why are TopFlites better?

Receptionist: That is all spelled out in the 2700 page "Affordable Golf Ball Act" passed by Congress.

Customer: Well, how much are these TopFlites?

Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package?

Customer: What's the difference?

Receptionist: 12, 24, 36 or 48 balls.

Customer: The Silver package may be okay; how much is it?

Receptionist: It depends, sir; what is your monthly income?

Customer: What does that have to do with anything?

Receptionist: I need that to determine your government Golf Ball subsidy; then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below the poverty level, you might qualify for a subsidy. In that case, I can refer you to our BallAid department.

Customer: BallAid ?

Receptionist: Yes, golf balls are a right, everyone has a right to golf balls. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.

Customer: Who said they were a right?

Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.

Customer: Whoa... I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding golf balls as a right.

Receptionist: There's no explicit mention of golf balls in the Constitution, but President Obama is a former constitutional scholar and he believes it would have been included if the Constitutional had not been drafted by a bunch of slave-owning white men. The Democrats in the Congress and the Supreme Court agree with the President that golf balls are now a right guaranteed by the Constitution.

Customer: I don't believe this...

Receptionist: It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the balls this year.

Receptionist: In that case, sir, I will still need your monthly income.

Customer: Why?

Receptionist: To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.

Customer: WHAT? You can't charge me for NOT buying golf balls.

Receptionist: It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $49.50 or 1% of your monthly income.

Customer: (interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $49.50.

Receptionist: Sir, it is the $49.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!

Receptionist: Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

Customer: Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.

Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.

Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of cell phone I am using?

Receptionist: So they get your GPS coordinates, sir.

(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)

Receptionist: That would be the IRS, sir. Thanks for calling ObamaGolf, have a nice day... and God bless the land of the free and the home of the brave.

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different..again. Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."

The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?"

Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican."

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you ?"

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."

Some men carry and handle their diplomacy better than others........

When former U.S. Military commander in Afghanistan, Stanley McChrystal, was called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting him in his political role as President.

"It's not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, it's my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied, and he handed Obama his resignation.

Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal's resignation the President made a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to pee on my grave."

The General saluted. "Mr. President, I always told myself after leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again."

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Ann (my wife) and I went into town and visited a shop.

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.  We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "ass" . He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So Ann called him a "shit head".  He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then  he started writing more tickets  This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just after the Officer left, our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.

We always look for cars with "OBAMA 2012 stickers.  We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Kim Jung Un had NO military experience whatsoever before Daddy made him a four-star general.

This snot-nosed twerp had never accomplished anything in his life that would even come close to military leadership. He hadn't even so much as led a Cub Scout troop, coached a sports team, or commanded a military platoon. So he is made the "Beloved Leader" Of North Korea. Terrific!

Oh WAIT. . ..crap!

Sorry, just remembered that we did the same thing. We took an arrogant community organizer, who had never worn a uniform, and made him Commander-in-Chief. A guy, who had never had a real job, worked on a budget, or led anything more than an ACORN demonstration, and we made him "Beloved Leader" of the United States ----TWICE!

I'm sorry that he is also your doctor. Bend over. Never mind.

What a Deal! ... I got an email the other day from a Nigerian prince.  He’s got a MILLION DOLLARS and he wants to give it to me for FREE!

And all I have to do is give him all my bank account numbers so he can transfer the money!

I was about to do it, but then I got ANOTHER email!

It's from a KENYAN prince, and he wants to give me FREE healthcare for life!

... and all I have to do is give him all my bank account numbers, MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER and MY CONFIDENTIAL HEALTH INFORMATION so he can make it happen!

Sounds like a familiar scam ... huh?

A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell.

The party waiting behind her was a group from Washington DC that included Barack Obama.

Barack quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.
She thanked him and started to leave when he said,"I'm Barack Obama and I hope you'll vote Democratic in the next election.”

She laughed and quickly said, "I fell on my ass, not my head!”

In Washington, D.C., an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital and was well known among the elected officials. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see President Obama and Senator Reid before I die," whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father," replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the President and Congress and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; President Obama and Harry Reid would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to Reid, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Reid agreed that it was a good thing.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Obama's hand in his right hand and Reid's hand in his left hand. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. Finally President Obama spoke.

"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

"Amen," said Obama.

"Amen," said Reid.

The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."

As I approach my twilight years, I am struck by the inevitability that the party must end.

And one clear, cold morning after I'm gone, my spouse will awaken in the warmth of our bedroom and be struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore."

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute."

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, or say "I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage... and old cars, children with bad report cards, dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it; because we are worth it.

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a son-in-law after divorce.

There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close!

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know how you really feel?

The important thing is to let everyone of your friends know your true feelings, even if you think they don't love you back.

So, just in case I'm gone tomorrow, please rest assured I voted AGAINST that incompetent, lying, bleeding heart, narcissistic, scientific & economic moron, and SOB, Obama!

During the 3-1/2 years of World War 2 that started with the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor in December 1941 and ended with the Surrender of Germany and Japan in 1945, the U.S. Produced 22 aircraft carriers, 8 battleships, 48 cruisers, 349 destroyers, 420 destroyer escorts, 203 submarines, 34 million tons of merchant ships, 100,000 fighter aircraft, 98,000 bombers, 24,000 transport aircraft, 58,000 training aircraft, 93,000 tanks, 257,000 artillery pieces, 105,000 mortars, 3,000,000 machine guns, and 2,500,000 military trucks.

We put 16.1 million men in uniform in the various armed services, invaded Africa, invaded Sicily and Italy, won the battle for the Atlantic, planned and executed D-Day, marched across the Pacific and Europe, developed the atomic bomb and ultimately conquered Japan and Germany. 

It's worth noting, that during the almost exact amount of time, the Obama administration couldn't build a functioning web site.

Receptionist:  Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Shaniqua. How can I help you?

Customer:  Hello.  I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

Receptionist:  Yes!  I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.

Customer:  Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary, and wanted it  delivered to my wife.

Receptionist:  Interrupting, Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our  minimum standards, I will  be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

Customer:  But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it  for years, my wife likes them.

Receptionist:  Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.

Customer: Well, how much are  they?

Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.

Customer: What's the difference?

Receptionist: 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

Customer: The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

Receptionist: It depends sir, what is your monthly income?

Customer: What does that have to do with anything?

Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.

Customer: FlowerAid?

Receptionist: Yes, Flowers are a right.  Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.

Customer: Who said they were a right?

Receptionist: Congress did.  They passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it constitutional.

Customer: Whoa!  I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding flowers as a right.

Receptionist:  It is not really a “Right in  the Constitution,” but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court ruled it a "Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a right.

Customer: I don't believe this.

Receptionist: It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.

Customer: Why?

Receptionist: To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.

Customer: WHAT?  You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!

Receptionist: It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.

Customer interrupting: This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50.

Receptionist: Sir, it is $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!

Receptionist: Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

Customer: Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going  to pay it.

Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir.  That's why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.

Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?

Receptionist: So they get your GPS coordinates sir.

Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door

Receptionist: That would be the IRS sir.  Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers.  Have a nice day and God Bless America

The following is from longtime PIGster Swine Flew who apparently has too much time on his hands.

Twerping: Standing behind a podium with a silly smile while saying mindless things in support of the unsupportable.  See Jay Carney

Attention Diverting Disorder: Saying mind numbingly stupid things in defense of the indefensible.  Using actual facts is counter productive.  See Hillary on Benghazi.

You can keep your Senator or Representative if you like your Senator or Representative:  Just please keep them home and don't inflict them on the rest of us.  See Harry and Nancy.

The Unaffordable Lack Of Care Act:  A law making it so difficult to see a doctor for your hemorrhoids that, by the time you get an appointment, you will need a wheelbarrow to carry them to the doctors office and to will need to take out a second mortgage on your already worthless house to rent a chair in the waiting room.

Legislating Physical Science: Passing laws that require you to do something scientifically impossible or that makes the thing you were trying to fix much worse.  See E85 gas, CFLs, Global Warming, toilets that allow you to keep your waste whether you like it or not, CAFE mileage standards, clean energy, etc., etc., etc.

Teleprompter In Chief: An infernal machine with a higher IQ than the user.  See - do I really need to say?

Photo Op Phishing: Doing anything to get you ugly mug in a picture.  See Dicky Sue Rambo Blumenthal and an endless list of pseudo - celebrities that think leaving your skivvies home will somehow make your face more attractive and in some cases do.

Post Electoral Depression: when the only good thing you can say is that you didn't vote for the jerk.

Taxanasia:  Not only taxing you to death but your not even yet conceived great grand children.

Oh, sorry, got to go, my wife finally found a pharmacy that will take Obamacare for my meds.  Can anyone loan me $500 for a bottle of aspirin?

There are some gifted people who have the ability to put into words that which most of us are thinking. Maureen Scott is an ardent American patriot who was born in Pittsburgh, PA, and retired to Richmond, VA, in 2000. Free from the nine-to-five grind of writing for employers and clients, she began writing political commentary to please herself and express her convictions.

The Architect of Destruction
By Maureen Scott

Barack Obama appears to be a tormented man filled with resentment, anger, and disdain for anyone of an opinion or view other than his. He acts in the most hateful, spiteful, malevolent, vindictive ways in order to manipulate and maintain power and control over others. Perhaps, because, as a child, he grew up harboring an abiding bitterness toward the U.S. that was instilled in him by his family and mentors…it seems to have never left him.

It is not the color of his skin that is a problem in America . Rather it is the blackness that fills his soul and the hollowness in his heart where there should be abiding pride and love for this country.

Think: Have we ever heard Obama speak lovingly of the U.S. or its people, with deep appreciation and genuine respect for our history, our customs, our sufferings and our blessings? Has he ever revealed that, like most patriotic Americans, he gets "goose bumps" when a band plays "The Star Spangled Banner," or sheds a tear when he hears a beautiful rendition of " America the Beautiful?" Does his heart burst with pride when millions of American flags wave on a National holiday - or someone plays "taps" on a trumpet?

Has he ever shared the admiration of the military, as we as lovers of those who keep us free, feel when soldiers march by? It is doubtful because Obama did not grow up sharing our experiences or our values. He did not sit at the knee of a Grandfather or Uncle who showed us his medals and told us about the bravery of his fellow troops as they tramped through foreign lands to keep us free.

He didn't have grandparents who told stories of suffering and then coming to America , penniless, and the opportunities they had for building a business and life for their children.

Away from this country as a young child, Obama didn't delight in being part of America and its greatness. He wasn't singing our patriotic songs in kindergarten, or standing on the roadside for a holiday parade and eating a hot dog, or lighting sparklers around a campfire on July 4th as fireworks exploded over head, or placing flags on the grave sites of fallen and beloved American heroes.

Rather he was separated from all of these experiences and doesn't really understand us and what it means to be an American. He is void of the basic emotions that most feel regarding this country and insensitive to the instinctive pride we have in our national heritage. His opinions were formed by those who either envied us or wanted him to devalue the United States and the traditions and patriotism that unites us.

He has never given a speech that is filled with calm, reassuring, complimentary, heartfelt statements about all the people in the U.S. Or one that inspires us to be better and grateful and proud that in a short time our country became a leader, and a protector of many.

Quite the contrary, his speeches always degenerate into mocking, ridiculing tirades as he faults our achievements as well as any critics or opposition for the sake of a laugh, or to bolster his ego.

He uses his Office to threaten and create fear while demeaning and degrading any American who opposes his policies and actions. A secure leader, who has noble self-esteem and not false confidence, refrains from showing such dread of critics and displaying a cocky, haughty attitude.

Mostly, his time seems to be spent causing dissension, unrest, and anxiety among the people of America , rather than uniting us (even though he was presented to us as the "Great Uniter").

He creates chaos for the sake of keeping people separated, envious, aggrieved and ready to argue. Under his leadership Americans have been kept on edge, rather than in a state of comfort and security. He incites people to be aggressive toward, and disrespectful of, those of differing opinions.

And through such behavior, Obama has lowered the standards for self-control and mature restraint to the level of street-fighting gangs, when he should be raising the bar for people to strive toward becoming more considerate, tolerant, self-disciplined, self-sustaining, and self-assured.

Not a day goes by that he is not attempting to defy our laws, remove our rights, over-ride established procedures, install controversial appointees, enact divisive mandates, and assert a dictatorial form of power.

· Never has there been a leader of this great land who used such tactics to harm and hurt the people and this country.

· Never have we had a President who spoke with a caustic, evil tongue against the citizenry rather than present himself as a soothing, calming and trustworthy force.

· Never, in this country, have we experienced how much stress one man can cause a nation of people - on a daily basis!

Obama has promoted the degeneration of peace, civility, and quality of cooperation between us. He thrives on tearing us down, rather than building us up. He is the Architect of the decline of America \, and the epitome of a Demagogue.

Now KFC is offering the "Obama Cabinet Bucket." It consists of nothing but left wings and chicken shit.

A teacher asks each of the kids in class what they need at home.

Joey says "A computer." The teacher replies, "That would be very useful."

Kimmy says "A new lawn mower," and gets a similar response.

Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don't need anything!"

The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something.

Little Johnny replies, "No I'm sure. When Obama was re-elected, I remember my dad saying, “Well, that's the last f***ing thing we needed.”

We'll let Youngconservatives.com explain this.

>>> Young Conservatives >>>

Obama seems to have all kinds of followers in his flock and under his fold.

Meet Anthony Jamal Lee, a member of the Obama Boyz gang who is charged with multiple felonies.

Sounds like Lee and Obama may have a few things in common, and maybe when Obama's regime crumbles, Barry just may have a position waiting for him rollin' with The Obama Boyz.

>>>> The Obama Boyz >>>

Submitted By: Swine Flew

Today I had to go to the mall. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space.

I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available.

The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, "I'm not handicapped!"

Well, as you can imagine, my face was red! "Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "I saw your Obama bumper sticker, and I just assumed that you suffered from some sort of mental disorder."

She gave me the finger and screamed some nasty names at me.

Boy! Some people don't appreciate it when you're just trying to help them out!

This posting would make the late Antonio Prohias, creator of Spy vs. Spy proud.

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: Baracky Road.

Baracky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $92.84 per scoop…so out of a hundred dollar bill you are at least promised some...CHANGE..!

When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but after you pay for it, the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you at no charge.

You are left with an almost empty wallet, staring at an empty cone, with no...HOPE of ever getting any ice cream, and wondering what just happened.

Then you realize this is what “redistribution of wealth” is all about.

Do you feel stimulated?

Oh, remember that foreplay is stimulus, and we all know what comes after foreplay...

I have to blow off some steam about this stinky stuff.

Obama & Co. invaded the quaint, quiet island of Martha's Vineyard off of Cape Cod for yet another vacation in a humble 7.6 million dollar mansion.

Wow, so that's where part of my check to my swell pals at the IRS go?

Gee whiz. Mrs. Porcus and yours truely had plans to visit my old stomping grounds on the Cape this summer, but because Boy Blunder has to take yet another M-F**king vacation in my old 'Hood and I have to pay his goon squad, I had to cancel such plans.

I need my barf bag like right about now!

Name is Patrick K. Crowley and I, for the record say this, that he sucks and siphons. A lot, from a lot of wallets.

Quit trashing Obama's accomplishments. He has done more than any other President before him. He has an impressive list of accomplishments:

First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.

First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.

First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States .

First President to violate the War Powers Act. 

First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico .

First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.

First President to spend a trillion dollars on "shovel-ready" jobs when there was no such thing as "shovel-ready" jobs.
First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.

First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.

First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S. , including those with criminal convictions.

First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.

First President to tell a CEO of a major corporation (Chrysler) to resign.

First President to terminate America˜s ability to put a man in space.

First President to cancel the National Day of Prayer and to say that America is no longer a Christian nation.

First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.

First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.

First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke out on the reasons for their rate increases.

First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory.

First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).

First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.

First President to actively try to bankrupt an American industry (coal).

First President to fire an inspector general of AmeriCorps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.

First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.

First President to surround himself with radical left wing anarchists.

First President to golf 73 separate times in his first two and a half years in office, 102 to date.

First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.

First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.

First President to go on multiple "global apology tours" and concurrent "insult our friends" tours.

First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends paid for by the taxpayers.

First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.

First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.
First President to fly in a personal trainer from Chicago at least once a week at taxpayer expense.
First President to repeat the Holy Quran & tell us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.

First President to tell the military men and women that they should pay for their own private insurance because they "volunteered to go to war and knew the consequences."

Then he was the First President to tell the members of the military that THEY were UNPATRIOTIC for balking at the last suggestion.
First President to side with a foreign nation over one of the American 50 states ( Mexico vs Arizona ).

How is this hope and change working out for you?
[A Real Shame The Idiots That Support This Communist Bastard Won't even Recognize The Facts!]

Clint Eastwood and a One Sentence Editorial

This one sentence editorial appeared in the Peoria Journal Star. "A pen in the hand of this president is far more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million law-abiding citizens."

Then Clint Eastwood added his words: "We Americans are so tired of being thought of as dumbasses by the rest of the world that we went to the polls this past November and removed all doubt."
--Clint Eastwood

The following are from The Patriot Post and were found in PIG's inbox, and we thought we might want to share.

The headline read: "When A Bad Joke Becomes A Reality"

The Foundation

"All men having power ought to be distrusted to a certain degree."
--James Madison

Editorial Exegesis

"President Obama famously joked in a college commencement address in 2009 that he could use the IRS to target political enemies but of course he never would. It appears that people at the Internal Revenue Service didn't think he was joking.

That's become clear since IRS Director of Exempt Organizations Lois Lerner admitted on Friday that the agency targeted conservatives for special tax-exempt scrutiny during the 2012 election season.

We've also learned that IRS officials knew about this earlier than they have let on. News reports suggest that Ms. Lerner knew about the targeting of conservatives in June 2011, and perhaps as early as 2010. That's a long time before IRS Commissioner Douglas Shulman flatly denied any political targeting when he testified at a House Ways and Means subcommittee hearing in March 2012.

Some Democrats took to the airwaves on the weekend to suggest that while the IRS shouldn't have been targeting conservatives, no one was harmed.

The harm is in fact real, if hard to measure precisely, because any missive from the IRS is enough to chill political spending and speech.

Oppose the Obama Administration or liberal priorities, and you too can become an IRS target. We're glad to see Congress mobilizing in response, including hearing plans by Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus and the House Ways and Means Committee that asked the IRS about this in 2012 and received denials. The subpoenas need to fly as thick as those IRS questionnaires."

— The Wall Street Journal

Upright

Jay Carney, whose unenviable job is not to explain but to explain away what his employers say, calls the IRS' behavior 'inappropriate.' No, using the salad fork for the entree is inappropriate. Using the IRS for political purposes is a criminal offense.

Liberals, whose unvarying agenda is enlargement of government, suggest, with no sense of cognitive dissonance, that this IRS scandal is nothing more sinister than typical government incompetence. Five days before the IRS story broke, Obama ... warned Ohio State graduates about 'creeping cynicism' and 'voices' that 'warn that tyranny is ... around the corner.' Well."

--Columnist George Will

"Can we not at least agree that the Obama administration has established a culture conducive to the type of stereotypical thinking that could lead to this? Didn't the Department of Homeland Security under this administration list right-wing groups as extremists and potential terrorists? Hasn't President Obama himself referred to tea partyers as 'tea baggers'? Haven't other Democrats deliberately depicted tea party groups as violent extremists who are a hair trigger away from armed revolution?

Liberals have been trying to vilify conservative talk radio for years now, suggesting that its strong political opinions lead to violence. That is preposterous, but if we were to apply the same type of standard to Obama, we could say that he has personally fomented a climate of hate against conservative groups, such that the IRS targeting was completely foreseeable. Surely, it's fair to hold the president to his own standard."

--Columnist David Limbaugh

"With lies, as with potato chips, it is hard to stop with just one. The problem with telling a lie, or even a succession of lies, is that a very small dose of the truth can sometimes make the whole thing collapse like a house of cards.

The State Department's own foreign service officer Gregory Hicks was in Libya during the [Benghazi] attack, so he knew the truth. When threats were not enough to silence him, it was then necessary to try to discredit him. After years of getting glowing job evaluations, and awards of honors from the State Department for his work in various parts of the world, Mr. Hicks suddenly began to get bad job evaluations and was demoted to a desk job in Washington after he spoke with a Congressman about what he knew. The truth is dangerous to liars."

--Economist Thomas Sowell

"We may be disgusted and horrified by Kermit Gosnell, but we should not be shocked by his crimes. Thanks to the misguided social entrepreneurship of the Supreme Court, abortion is protected as a constitutional absolute, and late-term abortions, grisly as they are, enjoy substantial protection as well. What that looks like in practice is Gosnell's slaughterhouse. We should not pretend that this evil does not extend past the Philadelphia city limits. If you would have an unlimited abortion franchise, then you will have all that goes with it, including the pitiless knife of Kermit Gosnell."

--National Review

Essential Liberty

"[L]ook at Obama in this statement in Denver: 'I am constrained ... by the system that our Founders put in place.' That is an unwitting statement of truth. He is constrained. What does constrained mean? It means things I can't do. Why is he even thinking about things he can't do? There are things he wants to do. There are all kinds of executive orders and waiving of the presidential wand to make it happen he would love to do. But the Constitution's in his way, and he wishes it weren't. Be wary, folks, of any politician who talks about the Constitution and uses [phrases] like 'I am constrained.'"

--Radio Talk-Show Host Rush Limbaugh

Demo-gogues

The White (Wash) House: "[T]he day after [Benghazi] happened, I acknowledged that this was an act of terrorism. The whole issue of talking points, frankly, throughout this process, has been a sideshow. There is no 'there' there. We dishonor [the four Americans killed at Benghazi] when we turn things like this into a political circus."

--Barack Obama feigning outrage while perpetuating the myth about Cairo
Blame game.

"It takes funding to protect a consulate. Who cut the funds from embassy security? The Republicans in the House, that's who. And if it wasn't for the Democrats, it would have been cut more. ... So, I think the Benghazi scandal, in quotes, starts with the Republicans looking in the mirror."

--Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA)

"I genuinely believe that there are actually Republicans out there who would like to work with us but they're fearful of their base and they're concerned about what Rush Limbaugh might say about them. And, as a consequence, we get the kind of gridlock that makes people cynical about government and inhibits our progress."

--Obama

Delusional

"The Affordable Care Act is bringing the cost of health care in our country down in both the public and private sector. And that is what is largely responsible for the deficit coming down."

--House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

Say What?

"I had a friend who got married to the wrong person, just so she could have health insurance. So, we'll also have a lot of less bad marriages as a result of [ObamaCare]."

--Rep. Janice Hahn (D-CA)

Unbalanced

"[W]e [Democrats] worked very, very hard together in order to be able to put together a balanced budget that reflects the values of the American people, that's fair, that's balanced in values and approach as well as in numbers, and we did that."

--Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) on the Senate's budget that never reaches balance

Dezinformatsia

Media Cover: "I.R.S. Focus on Conservatives Gives G.O.P. an Issue to Seize On"

--New York Times headline, obfuscating the issue

"Look, if you play by the rules and if you do what you're supposed to do, an audit doesn't take very long. IRS agents are there for a reason. Am I defending the IRS? Yeah I am! So let's all get on board with the president who wants to simplify the tax code! I don't think the IRS ought to apologize for anything!"

--MSNBC's Ed Schultz

"Even when they have real evidence of misdeeds and malfeasance, conservatives still want to change the subject to the fake, ginned up scandal they've been pushing month after month."

--MSNBC's Chris Hayes

"Well, what difference will that make if the White House has already put out the talking points and said that they were written by the CIA with the input of other agencies?"

--ABC's George Stephanopoulos echoing Hillary Clinton

Alternate Universe

"What's so sad about it is the president has been very rightfully proud of the lack of scandal in his administration so far."

--Time magazine assistant managing editor Rana Foroohar

A stopped clock is right twice a day:

"These have been a bad few months for journalism. We're getting the big stories wrong, over and over again."

--CBS's Scott Pelley

We Blame George W. Bush:

"Carney: I.R.S. Run by Bush Political Appointee"

--TheWeeklyStandard.com

Longest Books Ever Written:

"Why We Should Mistrust the Government"

--RealClearPolitics.com

Leave Her Alone, You Creeps!:

"Benghazi Investigation Creeps Closer To Hillary Clinton"

--BuzzFeed.com

Non Sequitur:

"What [the] IRS did [was] dumb and wrong. [Important] to note [that] GOP groups flourished [the] last 2 elections, overwhelming Ds. And they will use this to raise more $."

--Tweet from former Obama campaign chief and adviser David Plouffe on the IRS targeting Tea Party and Patriot groups

Downplay the Scandal:

"Mistakes were made, but they were in no way due to any political or partisan motivation. There was a shortcut taken in our processes to determine which groups needed additional review. These are factually complex and sensitive cases, and it's challenging to separate out political issues from those involving education or social welfare. We want to stress that our employees -- all career civil servants -- will continue to be guided by tax law and not by partisan issues."

--IRS acting commissioner Steven T. Miller

Nothing To See Here:

"Those from the IRS that have spoken about this obviously have much greater insight into what took place than we do. ... One person's view of what actions were taken or what that individual did is not enough for us to say something concretely happened that was inappropriate."

--White House Press Secretary Jay Carney

Sick Blame-Shifting:

"Anti-choice politicians, and their unrelenting efforts to deny women access to safe and legal abortion care, will only drive more women to back-alley butchers like Kermit Gosnell."

--NARAL President Ilyse Hogue

"This [Gosnell] case has made clear that we must have and enforce laws that protect access to safe and legal abortion, and we must reject misguided laws that would limit women's options and force them to seek treatment from criminals like Kermit Gosnell."

--Planned Parenthood spokesman Eric Ferrero (The reality is that, for Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers, the key distinction is whether the atrocity occurred inside or outside the womb.)

Short Cuts

"I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke but I don't want to get audited by the IRS."

--Comedian Jay Leno

"The best spin they have at their disposal is to argue that the President of the United States has to turn on the nightly news to find out what's happening [in] the government he runs."

--Columnist Guy Benson

"At a press conference, Nancy Pelosi blamed the sequester for keeping her from visiting the troops on Mother's Day. Ironically, the troops credit the sequester for the same reason."

--Fred Thompson

"The White House was blasted for inaction during the Benghazi attack in House hearings. The terrorists overran the consulate then they overran the annex. So it does support Barack Obama's claim during the campaign that he's got al-Qaeda on the run."

--Comedian Argus Hamilton

"Obama recently warned some college graduates against being all worried about government tyranny, and Obama has good reason to warn you against that because worrying about government tyranny is the exact sort of thing that will get you audited. Or, when Obamacare is in full force, it will be the attitude that gets you denied life saving health care. So have faith in government. Or it will get you."

--Humorist Frank J. Fleming

Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus et Fidelis!
Nate Jackson for The Patriot Post Editorial Team

“The scandal condom broke and Carney got soaked”
– Greg Gutfeld

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walk, they come across a sign:

"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!," said Snow White.

After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"

"First Place!," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign:

"Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.

After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"

"First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt it?"

They continue walking when they see a sign:

Contest! "Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

"I'm entering," says Pinocchio.

After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.

"What happened?," they ask.

"Who the hell's Obama?!," cried Pinocchio.

While visiting my local (legal) smoke shop the other night, I looked over the clerks shoulder and saw what looked like Obama's mug on a package of 'BamaJ' rolling papers.

I thought I was seeing things, but then I realized I hadn't inhaled lately, so I asked to take a look. Sure enough, some enterprising individual(s) took it upon him/her/themselves to market our fearless Choomer-In-Charge on a product that reflects The One.

The Choomers-In-Charge of marketing BamaJ Rolling Papers came up with all of the predictable advertising tag lines on their packaging, such as the following:

• U.S. Stimulus Package

• Yes, You Can!

• Let's Get America Rolling!

• 33 Ultra Smooth Natural Papers

• Approved By A Joint Commitee

Yeah, that's all cute and catchy until you actually use the product with your coveted private stash.

See, a friend of a friend knew this dude who actually rolled and smoked a number using BamaJ papers and said it tasted as bad as the novelty sounded, all without coughing up a lung and his lunch.

The F.S.O.P.'s Advertising Dept. believes in the truth in advertising concept and has a phrase that apples as well...

"When using BamaJ papers, always remember, 'Friends don't let friends bogart THAT joint'!"

So PIGsters of the Stoner persuasion, if you just GOTTA waste your stash, mind AND vote, by all means, roll on over to the link below:

>>> BamaJ >>>

ANA POSTER CHILD...

...'LEADING' BY EXAMPLE

WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, President Obama, by Executive Order, signed into law the Americans with No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.

The act, signed by President Obama shortly after Congress refused to pass it, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans—through no fault of their own--do not possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Obama, a longtime ANA supporter. "Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end busywork: xeroxing documents written by others, fulfilling mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions of non-abled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not a reality."

Under the Americans with No Abilities Act, more than 25 million important-sounding "middle man" positions will be created in the white-collar sector for non-abled persons, providing them with an illusory sense of purpose and ability. Mandatory, non-performance-based raises and promotions will also be offered to create a sense of upward mobility for even the most unremarkable, utterly replaceable employees.

The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire non-abled workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one non-germane worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans with No Abilities Act also contains tough new measures to prevent discrimination against the non-abled by banning prospective employers from asking such job-interview questions as, "What can you bring to this organization?" and "Do you have any special skills that would make you an asset to this company?"

"As a non-abled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up with co-workers who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a Minneapolis tile wholesaler last month because of her lack of notable skills. "This new law should really help people like me."

With the passage of the Americans with No Abilities Act, Gertz and millions of other untalented, inessential citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Obama: "It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings, to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her lack of value to society, some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little..

The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. It could not be any simpler than that.

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

The History channel has been airing a hugely successful mini series titled, "The Bible."

One episode features Satan and Jesus squaring off in the desert, with Satan doing his damndest to tempt Jesus. We all know "the rest of THAT story."

What many viewers saw in the actor (Mohamen Mehdi Ouazanni) that portrayed Satan was a strong resemblance between Obama and the devil.

Whether you think this is life imitating art or art imitating life, accident, coincidence, irony, whatever, I think it's funny as all hell.

Pun intended.

IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW...

...OBAMA IS THE ONE ON THE RIGHT

Dear Abby,

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest.

Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious.

One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's with Muslims.. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?

Signed, Lost

Dear Lost,
Suck it up you whiny spoiled baby. Michelle, you get to live in the White House for free, travel the world, and have the taxpayers pay for any vacations and everything else you want. You can divorce the jerk any time you want.

The rest of us are stuck with the idiot for four more years!

Signed,
Abby

Oh Crap!

Kim Jung Un

Kim Jung Un had NO military experience whatsoever before Daddy made him a four-star general.  This snot-nosed twerp had never accomplished anything in his life that would even come close to military leadership.  He hadn't even so much as led a Cub Scout troop, coached a sports team, or commanded a military platoon.  So he is made the "Beloved Leader" Of North Korea.  Terrific!

Oh Crap Again!

I'm sorry.  I just remembered that we did the same thing.  We took an arrogant community organizer, who had never worn a uniform, and made him Commander-in-Chief.  A guy, who had never had a real job, worked on a budget, or led anything more than an ACORN demonstration, and we made him "Beloved Leader" of the United States TWICE!

*Note: The following was submitted by contributor, K-Cro.

Something is wrong with this country.  

MLK dreamt about a future in which equality was the norm and the civil rights of everyone were honored.  That dream garnered his legacy a holiday in January and me a day off.  

Quoting the words from my brother from a darker mother, I have to say "I'm down with that!"  

However, this MLK day, I woke up and thought about the fact that I, like millions of other hard working Americans, am living through a nightmare called Barack Hussein Obama.  But do I get a day off for that?  No!  I have to work to pay for those who choose not to.  

OK, so maybe my civil rights haven't been violated.  But what about my constitutional rights?  My 1st, 2nd, 4th and 5th amendment rights have been, and continue to be, limited and challenged.  The nightmare I'm having is that sometime during the next four years of the B-HO regime, I'll see these constitutional rights eliminated entirely along with my 13th amendment rights, as entitlements increase to maintain the standard of living for those who choose not to work.  

Who will have to pay for it?  You and I will through our ever increasing taxes.  I won't be working for the American dream anymore, I'll be working for the American't dream.  The worst part of the nightmare, and the most ironic, is that B-HO will legitimately use his executive powers delineated in the Constitution to sway the American't people and Congress drink more Kool Aid and to create Article XXVIII of the Constitution, which will read something like this, "The twentysecond article of amendment to the Constitution of the United States is hereby repealed".  

So again, I ask if my nightmare is worthy of a day off.  The answer comes back as a resounding "Hell no!"  I should get 10 days off, playing golf in Hawaii with my caddies Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Unfortunately you see them out on the streets all the time. They really need more supervision as they could become dangerous!

They are referred to as “homo slackass-Erectus” created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing, and spasmatic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkward shuffling gait. The "drag-crotch" shape also seems to effect brain function. Expect no eye contact or intelligent verbal communication. History shows that this species mostly voted for Obama and receives food stamps and full government care. Unfortunately most are highly fertile.

You better not work, you better not try,
You better not earn, I'm telling you why.
Obama Claus is coming to town.

He sees you when you're building.
He wants what you all make.
He'll tell the 47 per cent that being rich is a mistake.

Oh you better not work, you better not try.
You better not earn, I'm telling you why.
Obama Claus is coming to town.

He'll tell you to be thankful, to bow down and give thanks.
Or he'll send you to a FEMA camp to get your thinking "straight".

Oh you better not work, you better not try.
You better not earn, I'm telling you why.
Obama Claus is coming to town.

He'll give you a free cell phone, say Obamacare is great.
He'll tell you being a success is something you should hate.

Oh you better not work, you better not try.
You better not earn, I'm telling you why.
Obama Claus is coooming tooo tooown!

Submitted by PIGster Swine Flew

A Lawyer,

an Illegal Alien,

a Pathological Liar,

a Muslim,

a Communist, and

a Black Guy walk into a BAR.

Bartender asks...

"What'll it be, Mr. President?"

America is teetering at the brink of the "fiscal cliff" - a financial catastrophe that will plunge the nation back into longlasting recession unless bold, decisive, nonpartisan action is taken by Barack Hussein Obama. Which is why the president has announced, in no uncertain terms, that he's going to be enjoying another luxury vacation in Hawaii when our economy goes "Forward" into the abyss.

Much to the delight of any "Choom Gang" members who are out of prison and eager for a reunion, Barry will be in Oahu for three full weeks of high-level pakalolo smoking, intensive golf sessions, and laughing at the poor bastards on the mainland who'll be receiving year-end Obamacare pink slips instead of Christmas bonuses.

The vacation is estimated to cost $4 million to taxpayers, which inspired us to ask just how many households it will take to pay for Barry to work on half a tan? Interestingly, if you look at two-earner households with $50,000 of taxable income...it will take every cent from 666 of them to fund Barry's vacation. And frankly, 666 seems like a pretty ironic number of households to get the shaft on Jesus's birthday.

In fairness, a significant part of the expense of the Obama family vacation comes from providing them with  massive layers of security, even though the only risk to Barry in Hawaii is getting a brain freeze from munching a rainbow-colored shave-ice too quickly.

But could those millions of dollars for security have been better used elsewhere? At this time, Ambassador Chris Stevens has no comment.

While in Hawaii, B. Hussein will visit Father Damien's leper colony, 
which first gave him the idea of taking "an arm and a leg" from taxpayers. 

Update: True Hawaii Trivia: King Barry will be vacationing in the shadow of the Nuuanu Pali Lookout (seen below), where Hawaii's King Kamehameha finally defeated his political enemies by forcing them over a precipitous cliff. Coincidence? We think not...

Friday Bonus: Okay, I didn't post much on Facebook this week that didn't appear here, but hopefully you'll enjoy this shout out to the man who helped Timothy Geithner do his taxes!

Order yours today!

>>> Oh Crap >>>

FIFTY YEAR OLD MANURE SPREADER - $1 (WASHINGTON, DC )

Fifty-year old manure spreader. Not sure of brand. Said to have been produced in Kenya.

Used for a few years in Indonesia before being smuggled into the US via Hawaii.

Of questionable pedigree. Does not appear to have ever been worked hard.

Apparently, it was pampered by various owners over the years. It doesn't work very often, but when it does it can sling shit for amazing distances. I am hoping to retire the manure spreader this November.

I really don't want it hanging around getting in the way.

I would prefer a foreign buyer to relocate the manure spreader out of the country.

I would be willing to trade it for a nicely framed copy of the United States Constitution.

Location: Currently being stored in a big white house in Washington, D.C.

This posting was inspired by those most tolerant Hope and Change Zombies based on a news broadcast from CBS News.

Makes you wonder. Is this Chicago politics in action in Southern California?

Effective campaign tactic approved by Barry to get the word out?

Voter intimidation?

Suburban Occutards?

You be the the judge...and jury.

Vandal Keys ‘Obama’ Into 2 Cars In Alta Loma

ALTA LOMA (CBS) — A case of campaign vandalism is under investigation Friday in Alta Loma.

Someone keyed the word “Obama” into two cars and slashed seats in another outside a residence that had Mitt Romney campaign signs.

CBS2 and KCAL9 reporter Rob Schmitt spoke to Ken Slown, owner of one of the keyed vehicles.

Slown actually supports President Obama!

He explained to Schmitt that he and his wife — both currently unemployed — are staying with her parents and it’s her parents who support Romney.

“I don’t know if they were trying to get a point across, to vote for Obama,” said Slown, “but to do something like this is not going to get the point across.” He estimates the damage to both of his vehicles at about $3,400.

In addition to both cars being keyed, his wife’s vehicle had her seats slashed, as well. Said Slown, “They pretty much cut the backs of all of the seats.”

A neighbor, who also has a Romney/Ryan sign in their front yard, were also hit. “Obama” keyed in the hood and on the black gate of an SUV.

*Publishers Note: No disrespect in any way intended to the great tribute at Mount Rushmore, but you have to admit, Clint Eastwood was right.

But you have to admit, it's not just funny as all hell, but serious as hell too, and an insult to the artists, engineers and workers that built this great monument.

SHOE SHINE

The following clogged up our inbox, courtesy of PIGster Swine Flew, again.

Borrowed From IMAO
Random Thoughts: Debate Aftershocks
Posted by Frank J.

With a 20th anniversary like that, I wouldn't be surprised if we find out Michelle has divorced Obama today.

Word is Romney is going to take the gloves off for the next debate.

Chris Matthews: "Help me! I've lost all feeling in my leg!"

Seriously, Sesame Street is branded on half of my baby stuff; why does a company that profitable need government funds?

The key to the Ryan/Biden debate will be to keep Biden talking after he's run out of scripted things to say.

Is there any realistic way Ryan can lower expectations for his debate with Biden?

At this rate, if Ryan doesn't cause Biden to curl up in a fetal position on the floor, people will say he lost.
Wednesday night, the bad economy finally got to a point where Obama felt the pain.

If Jim Lehrer was a good moderator, he would have called the debate and ended it early.

Obama is in the doghouse with his followers. Or, as Obama calls it, the kitchen. Because he eats dogs.

My inside sources tell me Romney is working on a bunch of zingers for the next debate. This time for real!

Obama should be able to come back if he can fix four years of failure before the next debate.

They say Obama spoke more than 4 minutes longer than Romney in the debate, but if you take out the uhs, he got 20 minutes less time.

There seems to be a new Obama campaign slogan and movement called "For All' which encourages the Zombie Nation to write slogans on the back of their hands, redesign the American flag and take a pledge of allegiance to Obama.

Some examples below, led by former babe, Jessica Alba and her cretinous Hollywood cohorts and Kool-Aiders, and other big time Obama cheerleaders, aka, Zombies.

Aw, gee. Those images are so touching that it kinda makes you want to grab some marshmellows and gather round the campfire, sing songs and praises to The One, huh?

Wait! My bad. I forgot this is the F.S.O.P. and I neglected to add this one final image of Rick Perry that really drives it home.

Warning: You really may need a hanky for this one.

"Momma said quit checkin' yo' messages and get yo white ass
back to work so she don't have to."

STOP THE PRESSES!

O-CRAP! PIG CLEANS IT'S OUTHOUSE: GANG-POSTING #1

WHY MITT ROMNEY IS UNLIKEABLE

THE PGA*
*POTUS GOLFING ASSOCIATION

BIRTHDAY GOLF FOR OBAMA
9:06 AM, Aug 4, 2012
BY DANIEL HALPER | WEEKLY STANDARD

President Obama will spend his 51st birthday golfing. From the pool report:

President Obama kicked off the celebration of his birthday today by hitting the links.

POTUS motorcade departed the White House at 8:23 a.m. and arrived at Andrews Air Force Base at 8:47 a.m.

No word yet on who is playing with the president.

According to CBS reporter Mark Knoller it's Obama's 104th round as president.

President Obama is playing golf today on the course at Joint Base Andrews, his 48th time out of 104 rounds of golf.

Hell, the new Seal of the POTUS says it all.

TOON TIME!

From Stilton Jarlsburg

Readers - just a couple of quick takes today. The cartoon above was inspired by the ridiculous cover on Newsweek magazine which shows Mitt Romney next to a headline which screams "The WIMP Factor: Is He Just Too Insecure To Be President?"

But let's be honest here: when you hear the word "wimp" associated with this presidential race, don't you immediately think of the simpering, petulant little whiner in the Whitehouse?

As Kurt Vonnegut once said, "I could carve a better man out of a banana."

By the way, Obama's sole claim to masculinity appears to be the execution of Osama bin Laden, which he personally watched on television. But even that claim came under renewed fire this week thanks to a book which reaffirms that Obama actually cancelled the raid on the compound three times over a period of months, because Valerie Jarrett thought it would be politically risky. And Barry tried to cancel the final successful mission too...but, uh, somehow it got initiated anyway while he was on the golf course. Being manly.

GOVERNMENT? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' GOVERNMENT

If Barry Ran A Lemonade Stand

From IMAO

1) Government union workers construct the lemonade stand. Construction takes three years, and comes in at just over 2 million dollars… more than twice the projected amount.

2) Obama is not part of the union, so he can't work in his own stand. AFL-CIO goons picket the stand before it opens and threaten people in the neighborhood.

3) DC police start including the stand in their daily patrols – not to protect anyone from the union goons but to close the stand down because they insist he gets food permits.

4) Environmentalists picket the unopened stand because it's made of wood, and some cry for the trees that were cut down to supply the wood for the stand.

5) College students sit around the stand, while others attempt to set it on fire,as the stand represents "capitalism" and they plan to "Occupy" it.

6) Two years later, after Obama finally does the government-required studies and buys the required permits, and hires a union worker to serve the lemonade, the lemonade must sell for $100 per glass to make a profit.

7) Stand closes next day.

8) Obama learns nothing.

*Head Narcissist In Charge

We don't care if this offends Muslims, we're grabbing our own barf bags, as we find it insulting to pigs of all persuasions.