Diversity Comes To Death Row?
Source: PIG News NC Correspondent Anthony Scott [12/20]

North Carolina Legicrats are holding hearings to do something about the shocking fact that Melanin-Enriched murderers are over-represented on the state's death row. Melanin-Enriched murderers are 55% of death row denizens but the state's Melanin-Enriched population is only 13%. Contrarily, whitey who is 70% of the state's population is holding down a sorry 35% of the state's death row slots. We're shocked, shocked, I tell you.

The smoking gun on this disparity - according to certain hand-wringers - is the fun fact that District Attorney's have the power to decide if a murder merits the death penalty. Other critics think that the scope of death penalty statute should be trimmed. PIG thinks the solution is much simpler. Somebody needs to motivate more of the state's white criminals to commit death penalty quality murders. If they don't want to do it for their own gratification, they can console themselves that it's their patriotic duty to enhance racial harmony in the Tar Heel State by going out and slaughtering somebody.

Ford Oils Some Squeaky Wheels
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [12/15]

Ford Motor Company seems determined to reset the bar - much, much higher - for spineless, whichever way the prevailing political pressure wind blows, cowardice. The fun started earlier this year, when the defenders of public morality - the American Family Association - announced a "boycott Ford" campaign. The fly in the AFA's ointment involved, among other things, Ford's support of certain differently-sexual organizations. That all changed during the waning days of November, with the AFA's stop the presses, announcement that the boycott was over. Curiously - we're sure it was a coincidence - Ford issued a December 5th statement that the company would no longer advertise Jaguar and Land Rover in GLAAD BAAG publications like 'Out' and 'The Advocate'. Happily ever after in family values land? Hardly.

Ford's antics stirred up a differently-sexual hornets' nest that prompted no less than 19 GLAAD BAAG cabals to demand a meeting with Ford officials. During the ensuing meeting, these groups demanded that Ford 'reaffirm its commitment to diversity and inclusiveness', to continue donating those greenbacks to GLAAD BAAG organizations, and to resume advertising in the aforementioned publications. Trying to please everybody at once, Ford's Vice President of Corporate Human Resources, Joe W. Laymon, decreed that Ford would resume advertising "all eight of its vehicle lines" in 'Out', 'The Advocate' and similar publications. At the same time - and don't ask me what the hell he means - he declared that the "business decision" to stop advertising Jaguar and Land Rover was still in force.

With this level of leadership and resolve, it's small wonder that Ford's profits are in the crapper. They're so busy playing in the public morality arena, they're forgetting to perform their primary job: manufacture and sell rides to willing buyers. You can bet the proverbial agricultural endeavor that Henry Ford wouldn't be distracted this easily. Henry had his flaws, but lacking a spine damn sure wasn't one of them.

Ford is run by panty wearing punks who stopped taking care of "business" to 'oil' the squeakiest bad publicity wheel. They deserve whatever fate metes out, for allowing themselves to be sucked into Amerika's culture war. Maybe if they stopped all this Korrectnik, victimhood crap and got down to business, they could get Ford Motor Company off economic life support.

Trademark Panty Twister
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [12/09]

It took several years, but a venerable lesbian motorcycle group finally persuaded the korrectness-addled U.S. Patent and Trademark office to give the group a Federal trademark on the group's name: Dykes on Bikes. Terrified into a bureaucratic coma by the "D" word - "dykes" - the Korrectnik bureaucrats went girlie and furtive for a few years. That all changed when, in a desperate, last minute effort Dykes on Bikes submitted 'hundreds of pages off additional material that they said showed the slang word does not disparage lesbians' (Chronicle).

We know what you're thinking, family values Sparky, but it's time to set aside your attitudes about the differently-sexual and look at the larger, inalienable individual liberty picture. This is still America, Sparky. These motorcycle riding womyn in leather jackets have the right to call themselves any damn thing that thrills the flannel right off their shirts.

Call me all the names you want but "Dykes on Bikes" is the spiffiest name I've heard in a very long time.

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Bonkers In The Bay State
Source: Boston Globe [11/29]

The fly in Provincetown (Massachusetts) Selectwoman Sara Peake's ointment is a Max Bohm painting depicting the Pilgrims voting on the Mayflower Compact when the Pilgrims first arrived at Provincetown in 1620. Max's venerable artistic vision incurred Selectwoman Sara Peake's wrath because it wasn't properly inclusive. For the down and dirty on this wench's whine, we have this prose from Cheryl Andrews, chairwoman of the Board of Selectmen:

'...''There's this lovely oil painting," she said yesterday. ''The thing is huge. It's been up there since forever. It was painted by Max Bohm, who's considered quite something in local art circles. And Sarah Peake turns around and faces it, and it's government. They're voting. She says, 'I'd like to talk about this painting. I find this painting disturbing.' That's a quote. She said it's disturbing to her because there are no women in the painting and the only one not holding a ballot is the Native American Indian. And I thought, 'Here we go.' "...' (Boston Globe)

Sara's whine motivated two other historically-challenged Korrectnik hacks to vote for the painting's removal. How dare Max Bohm depict the fact that only the male colonists on the Mayflower signed the Mayflower Compact on the boat as it lay at anchor off Provincetown? How dare he accurately portray the "men are men and you're not" culture of 1620? How dare he depict the fact that the Mayflower Compact was written to lay out the rules that all the colonists - not the local Siberian-Amerikans - agreed to follow? How dare he refuse to rewrite history to suit a whining Korrectnik NO-NAD like Sarah Peake?

Sara needs to stop going through life with her head shoved up her butt. She needs to increase the voltage on her shock treatments and learn to to accept historical reality. If this artistic molehill is as bad as it gets in Provincetown, life is good and Sara should stop her caterwauling and get on with it.

"Disabilism"
Source: PIG News Wire [11/25]

Scope - a disability charity that, changed it name from 'The Spastic Society' - accused actress Cameron Diaz of "Disabilism" because she dared - you might want to send the kiddies out to play - to refer to her 'awkward childhood physique' as "spastic". A Scope spokesdolt spouted this stop the presses drivel: "Likening her 'wild days' to acting like a 'spastic' is extremely offensive to people with cerebral palsy and perpetuates negative assumptions about disabled people." Whine...whine...whine.

Call us names if you must, but PIG News suspects that Scope made a mountain out of this celebrity prose molehill because they wanted to get their names in the news and used Cameron Diaz's fame to git 'er done. Whatever their real motives might be, Scope needs a refresher course in reality and we're uniquely equipped to do the deed:

"Since a word is nothing more than an ethically-neutral sequence of sound waves, it only has as much power for good or evil as the listener bestows upon it. There are no intrinsically 'offensive' sound waves, there are only hypersensitive listeners who are predisposed to being offended by them." (PIG Doctrine)

Word Games
Source: Global Language Monitor [11/21]

The word wranglers at the Global Language Monitor released the 2005 edition of their Top Ten Politically Incorrect Words and Phrases list this week. Our runaway favorite is "thought shower" - A.K.A. "word shower" - a phrase invented because some Korrectnik pinhead decided that "brainstorm" gave the differently-rational a boo-boo. Running a close second in PIG staff voting is "Deferred Success", a phrase invented by Brit Educrats because they thought "fail" might make the students so graded understand that they're dumber than a box of rocks. The most annoying phrase on the list is "Misguided Criminals", the phrase used by the BBC, because they decided that describing the subway bombers as a "terrorists" sent the wrong message about this "unpleasantness".

The full list of 'winners' is available on the Global Language Monitor Internet site.

White Females Need Not Apply
Source: The Michigan Daily (University of Michigan fishwrap) [11/14]

Declaring that everyone's favorite NO-NAD play - an unrelenting whine named "The Vagina Monologues" - is inherently racist, the producers of the forthcoming University of Michigan V-Day performance have decided to be more 'inclusive', so they are banning all white females from on-stage participation. Instead, the play will be performed, exclusively, by properly-hyphenated womyn.

The following tidbits from the Michigan Daily give you the Cliff Notes on this cat fight:

'...A major problem with the script for some is that many of the roles for women of color deal with sexual violence. And because few women of color audition for the show, minorities generally assume these more traumatic roles, while monologues dealing with more positive subjects such as liberation and beauty are filled by white cast members. Women of color are thus portrayed as only constant victims of sexual violence and never in a positive light, the producers and directors said...'

"By seeing white people in the show, (women of color) come to think they're not welcome or not part of the community. People have probably refrained from purchasing tickets or participating because of this feeling." (U of M alum and former play director, Carol Gray)

"We can't change the words of the script, but we can change the way the words are presented. The script is flawed in its attempt to give all women a voice because it seems to give certain women certain voices. I often wonder why angry vaginas can't be white and happy vaginas can't be Asian." (Lauren Whitehead, director of the play, this school year)

"For the white women who want to be involved, if I was in their position I would feel somewhat cheated. But I hope that they can understand that the movement is bigger than any individual person and see what is good for the collective movement." (Molly Raynor, co-director of the forthcoming production)

PIG News enjoys seeing these NO NADS fighting among themselves. Whenever they're unable to pin the blame on the patriarchy, their mythical solidarity breaks down along racial lines. The only things we need to make our enjoyment of this cat fight complete is a bucket of pop corn and a couple brewskies. I know, I know, but we're not called "PIG" because we're notoriously sensitive.

Racial Bean Counting Epic
Source: Portland Press Herald (Maine) [11/07]

Portland's (Maine) racial bean counters have their properly diverse panties in a wad because City Manager Joseph Gray decided that Tim Burton - a 23 year veteran of the Portland P.D. who is currently serving as acting chief of police - is the best man for the vacant police chief's job. The diversity pinheads are shocked, shocked, I tell you, because Tim Burton is an un-hyphenated white male.

Determined to prove how anal this Northeastern bastion of liberalism is over diversity hiring, PIG News serves up these tidbits from this Portland Press Herald item:

'...The city should have two minorities among its 188 managers, the affirmative action report says, in order to reflect a civilian work force that is 3.7 percent minorities...' [The city only has one minority manager.]

'...the city has 574 women workers when it should have 693 to reflect the 48.6 percent female population in the civilian labor force. Of those women workers, 15 are managers, when there should be 27 female managers..'

'...Among the city's 235 professional staffers, who aren't supervisors, there are 10 minorities - three more than the affirmative action goal - and 121 women - 14 more than the affirmative action goal....'

We can't be the only ones who think that Portland's diversity-bonkers peabrains are so obsessed with a prospective employee's pedigree that they don't give a flaming damn if he, she, heshe or it is even remotely qualified to perform the job. If it walks like a quota...if it talks like a quota...if it reeks like a quota. It's a goddamn quota, Northeastern Nitwit Sparky.

Black Racists
Source: PIG News Wire [11/04]

"In losing a woman, the court with Alito would feature seven white men, one white woman and a black man, who deserves an asterisk because he arguably does not represent the views of mainstream black America." (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel editorial)

"Party trumps race, especially on the national level. If you are bold enough to run, you have to take whatever the voters are going to give you. It's democracy, perhaps at its worse, but it is democracy." (Maryland State Senator Lisa A Gladden, Melanin-Enriched Donkey Clan hackette on Lt. Governor Michael Steele.)

"Because he is a conservative, he is different than most public blacks, and he is different than most people in our community. His politics are not in the best interest of the masses of black people." (Maryland Delegate Salima Siler Marriot, Melanin-Enriched, Donkey Clan hackette on Lt. Governor Michael Steele.)

"The public policies supported by Democratic principles are the ones that most impact the African-American community. I'm not saying (Mr. Steele) is a sell-out. That's not for me to say." (Maryland State Senator Verna Jones, Melanin-Enriched Donkey Clan hackette on Lt. Governor Michael Steele.)

Justice Clarence Thomas and Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele are, routinely, vilified by Melanin-Enriched pinheads because - according to these group think meatheads - the two aforementioned gentlemen are - gasp - Republicans and thus traitors to their race. "Uncle Tom", "Oreo", and all the other insults are justified, the Ethnocrats insist, because these "race traitors" don't 'think black thoughts'. If the whining Maryland Ethnocrats cited above were subjected to the relentless racist assaults that are part of Justice Thomas' and Lt. Governor Steele's daily life, you could hear their caterwauling on Jupiter.

In reality, the cardinal sin committed by Justice Thomas and Lt. Governor Steele is the fact that they dared to shed their assigned victim group identity and go out into the world as sovereign individuals. They dared to stray from their assigned beliefs and come to their own conclusions...form their own concepts...about the world in which we live. They dared, in short, to conduct their lives as men, not cowering, chronically-oppressed victims.

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A Cautionary Korrectnik Tale
Source: Daily Hampshire Gazette [10/23]

Henceforth and forevermore - unless some rational adult sneaks into this Educrap cabal - the words "freshman" and "freshmen" are banished from Amherst Regional High School. Instead, those individuals formerly known as freshmen will be called "Ninth Graders". Determined to eradicate these pernicious words, school officials poured taxpayer dollars down this Korrectnik rathole in their mindless zeal to expunge all traces of these politically incorrect terms from ARHS's official records and documents. We can't allow some hypersensitive NO-NAD wenchlet getting patriarchial boo-boo on her egregiously fragile psyche. Perish the thought!

If you're wondering what put this notion in this Amherst Regional High School Assistant Principal Marta Guevara's alleged brain, we're all over it. Ms. Guevara hatched this fetid notion after viewing a production of the Vagina Monologues a couple years ago. Since then, the notion festered until it reached critical mass:

'..."We want conversation, we want for kids to bring forward their thinking," said Guevara. "It's a great conversation to make them aware of the possible misogynistic, oppressive or non-inclusive language." Guevara said such conversations could eventually mean doing away with all class terms, such as "junior", "senior", and "upperclassmen." These changes are not under discussion at this point...' (Daily Hampshire Gazette)

In addition to her starring role as the poster bitch for Korrectness run wild, Marta Guevara is all the proof you need that Womyn Studies majors should never be put in positions of authority. The voices will stop speaking to you, eventually, after you pull your head out of your butt, Marta.

Thinking Pink In Pikesville
Source: World Net Daily [10/19]

An annual festival for the differently-sexual, National Coming Out Day, brings out more than prancing punks and flannel shirt wearing womyn. It has a well-documented, deleterious impact on Korrectnik nitwits in general and Educrat pinheads in particular. An excellent example is a Maryland cess-school named Pikesville High. Determined to coerce every inmate into ''accepting" their differently-sexual classmates, Pikesville High Educrats perpetrated a pink and rainbow shirt day and staged a GLAAD BAAG film festival.

Giving themselves an out - in case the parental outrage reaches critical mass - Pikesville's top Korrectnik, Principal Dorothy Hardin, insists that the school isn't the one perpetrating the aforementioned GLAAD BAAG festivities. The school is merely allowing the school's "Gay/Straight Alliance" to stage these "can't we all just get along" antics. Ms. Hardin insists that the parents are getting riled up over nothing:

"This is not a day where students were going to go on morning announcements and come out. They are not going to be presenting themselves as coming out. The message of our students are one of tolerance, understanding, awareness. Those elements are part of the American quilt." (Dorthy Hardin, as quote by World Net Daily)

That's right PIGsters, this paragon of diversity invoked the Korrectnik trinity: tolerance, understanding and awareness. Ms. Hardin's blithering is all the proof you need that Amerika's ongoing obsession with graduating idiots with self esteem is thriving at Pikeville High. That's got be terminally thrilling for the rational, taxpaying adults who are forced to fund this Korrectnik bovine excrement.

NBA Race Card Wrangler
Source: ESPN [10/19]

Indiana Pacers guard, Stephan Jackson, went into a full blown girlie man hissy fit the instant the NBA's top dog, Commissioner David Stern, announced his new dress code policy. Among other things Stern's off the court dress code mandates "business casual" attire (sports jackets shoes and socks), for non-participating players sitting on the bench or attending official NBA functions. In addition to banning "sleeveless shirts, shorts, sunglasses and headphones", the new rules also take dead aim at "bling":

'...A section in the new dress code listing items players are not allowed to wear on team or league business includes "chains, pendants or medallions worn over the player's clothing."..' (ESPN)

Unable to be a man about the ban on bling, Stevie went girlie by whipping out his race card to whine:

'...Jackson voiced no opposition to the bulk of the "business casual" demands in the NBA's new dress code, but he described the jewelry ban as "attacking young black males." "I think it's a racist statement because a lot of the guys who are wearing chains are my age and are black," said Jackson, 27. "I wore all my jewelry today to let it be known that I'm upset with it."...' (ESPN, emphasis added)

With Commissioner David Stern's guidance, little Stevie Jackson can learn to dress like a grown man, but all the help in the world won't get him to act like a one. Spike the Wonder Tyke thinks it's time to increase the old voltage, Shock Treatment Sparky.

Berkeley's Political Punks Diss Columbus
Source: PIG News Wire [10/14]

October 12th might be Columbus Day in civilized parts of Amerika, but in the differently-rational Marxist enclave named Beserkeley (Mexifornia) it marked the 14th annual observance of a terminally-Korrect notion called a "Day of Solidarity with Indigenous Peoples". According to the pinheads who perpetuate this adventure in Korrectness, the day is devoted to "promoting awareness of American Indian culture" (U.C. Berkeley's Daily Cal). We're damn sorry you missed the fun, Sparky, but you can bet the proverbial agriculture endeavor that they'll play this same Korrectnik game next year.

We have, as you might expect, a few pesky issues with this lefty stupidity, starting with the asinine name: "Day of Solidarity with Indigenous Peoples". Futhermore, PIG is shocked, shocked I tell you, that Berkeley Marxists - by their own admission - blatantly ignore Siberian-American culture the other 364 days of the year. If they really gave a flaming damn about Siberian-Americans, these lefty pinheads would devote every waking minute to appreciating the noble culture perpetrated by the new world's first immigrants. It's not as if Beserkeley denizens have anything better to do with their time.

PIG probably needs to thank these lefty pinheads for continuing for providing us with fodder for our information superhighway speed bump. Before we decide to reward these lefty punks, we need to discuss a few of those devilish details. For starters, there's the incontrovertible fact that on October 12, 1492 a terminally lost Italian blundered into the new world. So why, Berkeley punks, did you 'celebrate' your "Columbus sucks" festival on Saturday October 8th? Furthermore, you claim that the lefty Ivory Tower you aid and abet, U.C. Berkeley, is a world class educational institution, so why don't you understand how Chris Columbus made life thrilling for Siberian Americans from the instant he splashed ashore onto the Bahamian island of Guanahaní to ask for directions to the Far East? It's Enquiring minds time in the top secret PIG bunker.

Given your antics - despite your unintended contributions to PIG - we aren't likely to thank you for your Korrectnik antics in the foreseeable future. It must really suck to be you right now.

Louis Farrakhan's D.C. Guest List
Source: Washington Times [10/12]

It's not breaking news when a PIG favorite like the Reverent Jesse Peterson aims his rapier-like prose at somebody of Louis Farrakhan's ilk, so why is PIG News even mentioning it? For starters this isn't the familiar sovereign individual (Jesse) going after a Melanin-Enriched racist (Louis). Nope, this has to do with the alarming - to Jesse - fact that Louis included several leading, Melanin-Enriched individuals from the ranks of the differently-sexual on the speakers list for his gala "Millions More Movement" confab on the mall in D.C.

Why, you ask, did a dude with a long track record of "them damn homos" outbursts - Louis of course - invite differently sexual speakers to his confab? Certain know it alls opine that he didn't have much choice. With Louis hoping to parlay this D.C. whine-a-thon into a major Ethnocrat movement under his tutelage, the last thing he wanted was a protest by Melanin-Enriched GLAAD BAAG groups spoiling the D.C. festivities. Facing that thrilling prospect, Louis decided to give them a place on the program, a decision that didn't set well incertain Cross Cultist circles:

'..."Louis Farrakhan has always presented himself as someone who is against homosexuality, viewing it as wrong, and by allowing them to speak at the rally he is validating homosexuality," the Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson said yesterday at a Heritage Foundation forum of black conservatives...'

'...[Jesse Peterson's comments] echoed responses from other black ministers, including the Rev. Willie F. Wilson of Washington, national executive director of the Millions More Movement...' (Times)

Despite these "you're a homo coddler" slings and arrows, Louis' speakers roster for this October 15 Ethnocrat lunacy still includes differently-sexual speakers like Angela Davis and E. Lynn Harris. Other speakers slated to thrill unwary rational adults include: New Black Panther Party leader Malik Zulu Shabazz, and Leonard Jeffries, professor at City College of the City University of New York. Shame on you, if you missed CSPAN's comprehensive coverage.

Another Day, Another Shyster Atrocity
Source: AP [10/06]

Funded by the deep pockets in a vegan cabal named Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, ten D.C. alleged 'victims' are mounting a class-action suit against milk suppliers and retailers. Determined to nail every possible deep pocket, these asshats painted a potentially enriching bull's-eye on: Giant and Safeway supermarket chains; Horizon Organic; Dean Foods; Nestle Holdings; Farmland Dairies; Shenandoah's Pride; Stonyfield Farm; and Cloverland Farms Dairy.

The victims claim that all they want is to require warning labels on milk products to caution intellectual flatliners that drinking milk is uncool for school for those 'afflicted' with lactose intolerance. Am I being hopelessly cynical when I suspect that this class action crap-o-la would disappear in a heartbeat if the victims and their vegan sponsors got a sizeable donation from the aforementioned capitalists? Probably, but a pagan scribbler has gotta do what a pagan scribbler has gotta do.

Placing a nifty race card wrangling spin on this shyster drama, a melanin-enriched quack named Milton Mills - he's a key player on the Physicians Committee - spewed this victimist prose:

"Lactose intolerance is very prevalent in persons of color. As a physician, I see people who are dealing with conditions related to their inability to digest lactose. They're led to believe they need to include dairy for health benefits. That is not true." (AP)

Excuse me, doctor punk, but isn't warning patients afflicted with lactose intolerance not to drink milk one of your goddamn jobs?

CAIR's Latest Whine-A-Thon
Source: World Net Daily [10/01]

From PIG News' "It seemed like a good idea, at the time" desk, we bring you this item about an advertisement that three members of Ike's "Military-Industrial Complex" perpetrated to tout their CV-22 Osprey tiltrotor aircraft. In a move guaranteed to launch certain Mecca Maniac whiners, the ad shows the CV-22 hovering over a domed building while soldiers rappel from the aircraft onto the building's roof. And what, you ask, is so bad about that? Oh...Did we forget to mention that the building has crescent moon plus a minaret, and is clearly labeled "Muhammad Mosque"? It must have slipped our minds.

We know what you're thinking and this time you're right: CAIR went so bonkers they dislodged their dishtowel headgear. Faster than you can say "Jihad" the outraged Mecca Maniacs demanded - and got - apologies from the infidel capitalists who perpetrated this blatant assault on Islam. Unwilling to get in a pissing contest with CAIR, Boeing, Bell Helicopter and Bell's parent company, Textron were groveling at CAIR's feet, spewing abject apologies. Nice try dudes, but, a far from satisfied CAIR is still demanding an investigation to determine how this dastardly ad got approved.

PIG is trying, with little success, to give a flaming damn about this latest whine from these chronically-offended CAIR punks. Truth be told, PIG wonders what it will take to make the terrorist coddling, worldwide Islamic theocracy promoting cretins at the Council for American-Islamic Relations shut the hell up and crawl back under their rock.

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Color-Coded Politics
Source: PIG News Wire [09/28]

Calling themselves "Uhuru", a St. Petersburg (Florida) Ethnocrat cabal went shyster bonkers because, in their pea brains, elections in St. Petersburg District 6 are unfair - and probably racist - to Melanin-Enriched candidates. The problem, in their fevered brains, is that, like all other City Council candidates, a Melanin-Enriched District 6 candidate who gets the nod from the district's Melanin-Enriched majority, is then "forced" to win a citywide race where - gasp - whitey gets to vote too. The following whine tells you all you need to know:

"This lawsuit was a part of an effort to stop this takeover of the black community. It's a takeover by a power elite that happens to be white people." (Dwight 'Chimurenga' Waller, Uhuru's president)

Dwight has his panties in a hyper wad, because a white woman won the District 6 primary and will now face the incumbent who, although he's Melanin-Enriched, doesn't thrill Dwight either. The dirty little secret behind this shyster suit whine is the fact that candidate Dwight, didn't win the primary. We're bummed for you, dude, now shut the hell up!

Strange Bedfellows
Source: Richmond Times-Dispatch [09/28]

It's rarely breaking news when a political candidate accuses his, her, hisher, or its opponent of dirty, unfair and/or racist campaign trickery, but in this case the particulars make it interesting. The alleged racist is a Virginia House of Delegates incumbent who is facing an unknown, but up an coming, opponent. The opponent took it very personally, when - in what he inferred is an allusion to his racial/ethnic heritage - the incumbent sent out fliers that contained this prose: "delegate, community leader and one of our own". The instant he spotted "one of our own" the challenger pulled out the venerable race card.

I know what you're thinking and you'd be right, under different circumstances. Agreed, none of the foregoing facts is breaking news, but now it's time for your Paul Harvey Moment and 'the rest of the story'. The 'racist' incumbent, is not, as you probably assumed Elephant Clan. In fact she's a Donkey Clan hackette named Vivian E. Watts - and yes, Sparky, she does happen to be white, but so damn what. The challenger is a naturalized Amerikan citizen named Michael Meunier who was born in Egypt.

The irony doesn't stop there, because there are these fun facts:

Vivian is vulnerable because she alienated her constituents by opposing efforts to take border jumpers off the Virginia funded gravy train. She inflicted this political wound on herself when she opposed a bill that would ban border jumpers from the state's public schools and universities.

Unlike Vivian, Mr. Meunier favors the ban on college enrollment for border jumpers and is dead set against using tax dollars to assist day laborers.

Mr. Meuneir, although Middle Eastern by accident of birth, is a Cross Cultist by choice. That might explain why, despite his ethnicity, the dweebs at the Arab American Institute refuse to slam Vivian for her "one of our own" prose.

For the most part, PIG News likes the cut of Mr. Meunier's jib, but we still think he should grow a pair, and be a man about the blood sport called Amerikan politics. Vivian is scum, dude, but you still gotta be a man and beat her brains out at the ballot box. It's time to put the race card away, stop whining and get on with it.

Another NO NAD Whine
Source: ESPN News [09/23]

Martha Burk, the NO NAD whiner who humiliated herself with a pathetic protest at Augusta's Masters Tournament, is back with another Quixotean quest. Martha hopes that some of her NO NAD home girls will stand up and salute her newest foray against patriarchal sports, and help her cow (pun attempted deliberately) the NHL into dropping it's egregiously sexist ad campaign.

For those who need the Cliff Notes on the NHL's sin against womanhood, here are the essentials:

'..[the ad that has Martha's flannel panties in a wad is] titled "It's Time," shows a player (an actor, not an NHL player) in a locker room, surrounded by candles and accompanied by a woman who ceremoniously helps him don his hockey garb. The ads feature quotes from Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" along with dramatic camera work and music reminiscent of the film "Braveheart."...' (ESPN)

Shocked, shocked I tell you, Martha belabored the Canadian Press with this drivel:

"The woman is dressed provocatively and when she asks the player if he's ready, it's a double-entendre in my view. She's in the ad as a groomer, a sex object. The commercial is clearly selling sex and violence and the last image in that commercial is a young boy watching this, so he's clearly the customer they're after, or it's a misguided attempt to draw in families." (ESPN)

NHL spokeswench Bernadette Mansur gave Martha this badly needed reality check:

"This ad shows no disrespect for women. On the contrary, the woman is the spiritual and physical trainer for the 'Warrior' and is his mentor."

If this ad campaign is the number one problem facing the NO NADs, life is damn good and Martha should shut her damn pie hole and get on with it. What's next, a campaign to make the Pillsbury Dough Boy wear some clothes, because his corpulent nudity sends easily swayed wenches with eating disorders into a sexual frenzy?

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Source: PIG News Wire [09/18]

The Red Cross is earning well-deserved praise for the assistance it is rendering to Hurricane Katrina victims in its Middle Tennessee shelters, with one notable exception. Certain Ethnocrat whiners are in full blown whine mode because the aforementioned Middle Tennessee shelters, are, by and large, located in Oppressor neighborhoods and are staffed, for the most part, by whitey. That's intolerable, these Melanin-Enriched whiners blither, because, some-damn-how, it demeans these Melanin-Enriched storm refugees.

“When you're different and you're the lone person, you do feel different. When you're in crisis you like to have some familiarity there. You know that big headline that we were gonna have six thousand evacuees and the list of shelters in the newspaper were in the suburbs and so the question is: why aren't these in our community?” (Joyce Searcy, the Bethlehem Centers of Nashville)

“Who in Brentwood would know where a black beauty shop or barber shop is?” (Reverend Enoch Fuzz)

The Red Cross explained, for all the good it did, that - long before Katrina - the 63 existing shelters were inspected, approved, and had the necessary trained personnel. That sounds reasonable to this pagan scribbler, but you gotta know these whiners will find some-damn-way to pin a "racist" label on it.

Whining For Dollars
Source: Contra Costa Times [09/14]

The fun started when a the Islamic Society of Orange County (Mexifornia) hired a Melanin-Enriched Mecca Maniac dolly named Zakiyyah Muhammad to be the principal of their Orange Crescent School. Things got thrilling, for all concerned when the "men are men and you're not" dweebs running the Islamic Society fired our heroine, two years ago. If you're smelling a sexual discrimination shyster adventure, give yourself a cookie.

The shyster assault accused school board president Fazal Mirza of secretly plotting to replace our heroine with the vice principal. Furthermore, Mr. Mirza 'reneged on an agreement' that gave Ms. Muhammad a new two year contract and a pay boost to $65,000 per year.

'...[An] The eight-woman, four-man jury deliberated two days before deciding late Friday that the Islamic Society, school board president Fazal Mirza and board treasurer Refat Abodia should pay Muhammad $788,000, which included punitive damages of $130,000...' (Contra Costa Times)

If, as seems likely, this Educrap cabal is a private school, the state should butt the hell out and let the Islamic Society run - or ruin - it any way that thrills them spitless. Sexual discrimination? So-damn-what. This is a straightforward contract dispute. If the school violated the terms of a mutually agreed upon contract, nail them. If they're contractually cool, then the Nanny State courts should butt the hell out.

The breaking news here is that the Islamic Society hired this woman in the first place, not the fact that they eventually fired her. What the hell did this woman expect from a 7th century theology that is notoriously hostile to women? It's time to take the blinders off, darlin.

Afterthoughts:
This tidbit tells you all you need to know about this particular Mexifornia jury:

'...Before the verdicts were announced, jurors sent the judge a note saying they wanted to let both sides "know and understand that we do not consider Islam to be on trial. "We have been empowered to deliver a verdict but we are powerless to deliver peace and understanding. You must seek this elsewhere."...( Contra Costa Times)

The jury did get one thing right: they shot down Ms. Muhammad's 'racial bias' claim.

Delaware's Race Card Wrangling Wench
Source: News Journal [09/14]

New Castle County (Delaware) Registrar of Wills Diane Clark Streett might not be the poster wench for victimism, but she's damn sure in the top ten. All the proof you need is her over the top response to her assigned place in a First State parade. Although Ms. Streett didn't declare her desire to participate in the Middletown (Delaware) Peach Festival Parade until after the deadline for entry, parade chairman Dick Smyth bent the rules and agreed to let Ms. Streett participate in the parade. When Ms. Streett whined that she didn't have access to a ride, parade officials bent the rules again and found one for her, something they didn't do for anyone else.

Things went from frivolous to big time fun when our Korrectnik whiner found herself near the end of the parade. Outraged, this Melanin-Enriched wench went publically postal and bitch-slapped parade officials with the venerable race card:

'...in an Aug. 23 letter to the historical society, Streett said she was "extremely disappointed" by her placement. "I was the only elected official at the end. ... I was not only segregated from the other elected officials but I was placed behind a dance school, tumblers and miniature ponies," she wrote. "I should have been positioned with other [Caucasian, male] county elected officers."...'

"The insensitive choice to place this county elected official at the end of your parade line was also noticed by people along the parade route. It reflected poorly on Middletown and was not in keeping with a town of progress, growth and inclusiveness." (Ms. Streett as quoted by the News Journal)

Lacking this whiner's race goggles, New Castle County's rational adults viewed the events much differently:

'...Middletown Councilman Robert McGhee, who also is black, was a parade judge. He remembers seeing black participants in groups throughout the lineup. "I don't think it was racism,."...'

'...[Parade organizers] placed those who registered earlier toward the front while mixing up the types of participants throughout the lineup to give the parade variety. This year, they also placed two crowd favorites -- Little Miss Peach and the Middletown High School Marching Band -- near the rear to keep the crowd's attention. Streett's placement was equivalent to the spot that state Rep. Richard C. Cathcart, R-Middletown -- a white man -- was given last year...' (News Journal)

Finally, there's the fact that Mr. Smyth didn't even know that this Korrectnik whiner is Melanin-Enriched. He's fairly new to the area and never even heard of her before she perpetrated her race card wrangling antics. If Ms. Streett is a victim, her 'wounds' are all self inflicted. That's the usual fate for chronically-oppressed dipsticks who view life through race-tinted blinders.

Stuff You Can't Make Up
Source: Pagan Scribbler Prattle Prose [09/13]

The entire PIG staff is rolling on the floor laughing, over an item posted by our pals at the superb Tongue Tied site. The fun begins with the thrilling coincidence that PIG's second favorite differently-sexual festival - National Coming Out Week - occurs in October which, as luck would have it, is Disability Awareness Month. I know what you're thinking, because we were pitching the same notions but the GLAAD BAAGs got there firstest with the mostest. I hate it when that happens!

Sponsored by the usual Korrectnik suspects at Ohio State University, a group called - I swear we are not making this up - Queers on Wheels will invade this buckeye Ivory Tower on Oct 17 & 18. Among other things, they'll perpetrate what those pot smoking hippies at Berkeley call "consciousness raising" seminars on the proper care, feeding and bedding of the differently-sexual disabled individual.

A differently-sexual cabal called "Out in Columbus" shared these tasty tidbits.

'...The Queers on Wheels Sexuality Workshop will cover sexuality issues affecting gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual people with disabilities. The focus will be on how people with disabilities can successfully negotiate intimate relationships and positive sexual-self images...'

'...The Queers on Wheels Disability Sensitivity Training will explain how to keep organizations accessible to everyone, using proper people-centered language, communicating with deaf people; etiquette dos and don'ts and a general discussion about disability and the GLBTQ community...'

PIG will take a pass on the "Sexuality Workshop", but we're more than a tad intrigued by the second seminar. Baring our souls, we admit that we're deeply ashamed that we aren't on the cutting edge of inkorrectness. Who knew that there's a special category of inkorrectness that relates, exclusively, to differently-sexual disabled individuals? Would it be egregiously insensitive of us to ask if a GLAAD BAAG with no sense of humor is what they mean by a differently-sexual dweeb with a disability? Probably, so we won't go there. Oops! Too late.

Afterthought:
This pagan scribbler is positively green...green I tell you that somebody else coined "Queers on Wheels".

Will They Paint The Battleship Iowa Pink, Too?
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [09/07]

Merylin Wong, president of the Historic Ship Memorial at Pacific Square, was bummed, big time, when the comrades on San Francisco's politburo - A.K.A. the Board of Supervisors - voted down a plan to bring the battleship Iowa to the city as a permanent tourist attraction. Some supervisors whined about the way the military disses the differently-sexual, while others refused to sully the Gulag with such a blatantly militaristic tribute to the war-mongering, capitalist exploiters from the Military-Industrial Complex.

Unwilling to accept this decision, Merylin decided to coddle the properly-hyphenated into a more cooperative frame of mind:

'...[Merylin and her ship venerating co-horts] now hope to gain the support of city leaders by turning part of the vessel into a museum about the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy and the contributions of gays, lesbians, ethnic minorities and women to the military...' (San Francisco Chronicle)

It's highly unlikely that the Gulag's politburo will change their alleged minds about the battleship Iowa, and, quite honestly, PIG is pleased that it will be spared this differently-sexual museum indignity. That said, we're more than a tad annoyed that this Korrectnik wench even suggested it. The brave men and women who served on the Iowa deserve better than this, so knock it the hell off, or we'll be forced to come up there.

Another Ninth Circus Stinker
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [09/03]

The egregiously liberal cretins on the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals just Emerilized sexual harassment with a ruling that kicks this fetid concept several notches up the Korrectnik bovine excrement scale. The fun began when three wenches who toiled for Alaska's National Education Association worked for a dude who was, pardon my bluntness, a career asshole.

For the fetid facts, I'll let this Bay Area fishwrap do the heavy lifting:

'...The women said [the union's assistant executive director in Alaska, Thomas] Harvey regularly shouted at them and other female employees in the union's Anchorage office without provocation, making them feel frightened and intimidated. They said Harvey was physically threatening at times, lunging across a table to shake his fist at one woman and grabbing another's shoulders and yelling at her...' (Chronicle)

The smoking gun, according to the wenches is their claim that "He never acted that way with the male employees." No doubt, but, pulling that crap on a dude could get his lights punched out, and he'd damn sure deserve it.

This lefty federal court ignored a lower court ruling that pointed out the fun fact that Terrible Tommy never used sexually demeaning prose, and didn't make sexual overtures toward these whining wenches. Instead, the Ninth Circus boldly ventured into the Korrectnik Twilight Zone by blatantly redefining sexual harassment:

'...the appeals court said bullying aimed at one sex can be sexual harassment if it is so severe that it worsens the employees' working conditions substantially. A jury should make that assessment in this case, the court said. Regardless of motives, "the ultimate question ... is whether (the alleged harasser's) behavior affected women more adversely than it affected men.''...' (Chronicle)

This just in! The Ninth Circus just painted a Jupiter-size bull's-eye on every dude in Amerika. Watch your back, Sparky, because if some hypersensitive female co-worker wants to get you fired, the Ninth Circus just made it much, much easier. Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

Playing the Race Card
Source: PIG News Wire [09/02]

PIG is disappointed, but far from shocked, that the usual Ethnocrat suspects turned the destruction and chaos perpetrated by Hurricane Katrina into a race card episode. The following quotes are a random sample of the Ethnocrat prose we gleaned from our usual news sources:

The liberal asshats at the New York Times found these quotes newsworthy:

"If you know that terror is approaching in terms of hurricanes, and you've already seen the damage they've done in Florida and elsewhere, what in God's name were you thinking? I think a lot of it has to do with race and class. The people affected were largely poor people. Poor, black people." (Rev. Calvin O. Butts III, pastor of Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem)

"No one would have checked on a lot of the black people in these parishes while the sun shined. So am I surprised that no one has come to help us now? No." (Mayor Milton D. Tutwiler of Winstonville, Miss.)

"I have a list of black mayors in Mississippi and Alabama who are crying out for help. Their cities are gone and they are in despair. And no one has answered their cries." (Roosevelt F. Dorn, the mayor of Inglewood, Calif., and the president of the National Association of Black Mayors)

"Is this what the pioneers of the civil rights movement fought to achieve, a society where many black people are as trapped and isolated by their poverty as they were by segregation laws? If Sept. 11 showed the power of a nation united in response to a devastating attack, Hurricane Katrina reveals the fault lines of a region and a nation, rent by profound social divisions." (Mark Naison is described by the Times, this way: "a white professor of African-American Studies at Fordham University in the Bronx")

"We tend to think of natural disasters as somehow even-handed, as somehow random. Yet it has always been thus: poor people are in danger. That is what it means to be poor. It's dangerous to be poor. It's dangerous to be black. It's dangerous to be Latino." (Martín Espada is described by the Times as follows: "an English professor at the University of Massachusetts and poet of a decidedly leftist political bent who is Puerto Rican")

"Everything is God's will. But there's a certain amount of common sense that God gives to individuals to prepare for certain things. Most of the people that live in the neighborhoods that were most vulnerable are black and poor," he said. So it comes down to a lack of sensitivity on the part of people in Washington that you need to help poor folks. It's as simple as that." (Charles Steele Jr., the president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in Atlanta)

"I assume the president's going to say he got bad intelligence. I think that wherever you see poverty, whether it's in the white rural community or the black urban community, you see that the resources have been sucked up into the war and tax cuts for the rich." (Congress punk Charlie Rangel)

"Many black people feel that their race, their property conditions and their voting patterns have been a factor in the response. I'm not saying that myself, but what's self-evident is that you have many poor people without a way out." (Je$$e Jackson)

What none of these race card wranglers wants to discuss is the inconvenient fact that New Orleans is - or was - 67% Melanin-Enriched. If 2 out of 3 denizens of the Big Easy are Melanin-Enriched, why is anyone shocked or dismayed that they comprise the lion's share of Katrina's victims?

Afterthoughts:
You know you've strayed into the Twilight Zone when a race card wrangler like Je$$e is, comparatively speaking, the voice of Ethnocrat reason.

---

Human Hippo Resents a Doctor's Reality Check
Source: PIG News Wire [08/22]

An alleged human in a hippo suit got a boo-boo on its fragile psyche when a Rocherster (New Hampshire) doctor got too real about all that extra human hippo tonnage. Unwilling to face the harsh reality laid out by Dr. Terry Bennett, the human hippo plodded to the proper authorities and whined about Dr. Bennett's reality check.

'...A patient was apparently insulted when Bennett told her that she was obese and could only get healthier by losing weight. "It's an epidemic in the United States, and it's croaking us. It's your weight, ... and there's dozens of programs. You don't have to come in here. You can join Jenny Craig. You can go see Weight Watchers."...' (Internet Broadcasting Systems)

In a rational world, the proper authorities would tell this hippo to buzz off. That's what should happen, but it's a non starter in Korrectness plagued Amerika. Believe it or not New Hampshire's medical establishment - the state's Board of Medicine - and the state's legal establishment - the state's attorney general - are taking this hippo's whine seriously. I expect this Korrectness on steroids in certain notorious liberal infestations but I hoped for something much more rational from "Live Free or Die" New Hampshire.

A Korrectnik Panty-Twister
Source: Sacramento Bee [08/22]

The chronic whiners in the American Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee went postal when somebody spilled the beans about the entry for "Arab" on a certain on-line Thesaurus. Much too Korrect to share the egregiously maligned entry, the alleged journalists at the Bee, shared these tepid facts:

'...The entry, which appeared on thesaurus.com, listed the word as a noun meaning "beggar," and gave 16 pejorative synonyms including "homeless person" and "welfare bum."...' (Bee)

Shocked, alarmed and dismayed, numerous Arab whiners sounded off on this entry, but they were a day late and a dollar short because, as soon as AP gave them a head's up, the purveyors of thesarus.com pulled the listing. Does that end the matter? Yes, sort of, except for one nagging detail...

Now that we've made the world a better place for these A-rab whiners, PIG News still has one pesky issue to resolve. If the Bee is willing to share "beggar", "homeless person" and "welfare bum" what were the other 13 "pejorative synonyms" that this Mexifornia fishwrap deemed uncool for publication in a Korrectnik newspaper. If you have the full list of "pejorative synonyms" for Arab, be a pal and send them our way. It's the least you can do, PIGster Sparky.

Diversity Uproar in Florida
Source: World Net Daily [08/18]

Broward County's school board finds itself between the proverbial rock and a hard place, thanks to the on-going antics being perpetrated by its 19-member Diversity Committee. The rock: Egged on by outraged GLAAD BAAGs who accuse the Diversity Committee of homophobic impulses, the school board is thisclose to dumping the whole Diversity Committee. The hard place: The Diversity Committee came about as a result of a discrimination lawsuit that the school board settled out of court. Dumping the committee might land the school district back in court. Big, big fun.

This Korrectnik tempest reached critical mass when the Diversity Committee began discussing a GLAAD BAAG friendly video that - according to the American Family Association - slyly promoted GLAAD BAAGism to the school aged tykes who were subjected to this "can't we all just get along" video.

'...The AFA called the video a "gateway" to promote the homosexual lifestyle through an accompanying teacher's guide and the producer's website, which had a "tolerance pledge" for children to sign and print out that included "sexual identity."...' (WND)

According to the GLAAD BAAG whiners, while discussing the video, the Diversity Committee spewed "ani-gay remarks" that were so egregious the whole board needs to be dropped like a bad habit. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.

Call me names if you must, because I am feeling slappably smug over the fun fact that the status quo has GLAAD BAAGs, Educrats and the family values fat-heads equally miserable. I'd ask for a rousing "amen" from the congregation, but that would be a complete and utter waste of time.

The Great Northwestern Nitwit
Source: Seattle Times [08/10]

Calling James C. Garrett a "fringe candidate" is a gross understatment. His political resume includes such stellar political accomplishments as a felony conviction for assaulting Seattle's Mayor at the time, Paul Schell with a bullhorn. That, of course, was four years ago. Fast forward to the present and our hero has served his time, so he's now seeking a restoration of his voting rights so he can be the city's next mayor.

This drama got thrilling when, ignoring the fact that as a convicted felon our hero was ineligible to vote, the Kings County bureaucracy registered him as a certified voter and accepted his mayoral candidacy. When the county's justice system officials heard about Mr. Garrett's candidacy, they filed a challenge, insisting that he would not be eligible to vote or run for office until he, successfully, petitioned a judge to restore his voting rights.

This tidbit from Mr. Garrett's appearance before the judge deciding his voting eligibility elevates this epic from mundane to nifty:

'...At yesterday's hearing, Garrett, 59, offered a rambling challenge to the authority of the U.S. government and said he suffered from "post-traumatic slavery syndrome."...' (Times)

If you need a translation, PIG News has it covered: "The feds had no right to jail me for wailing on the mayor with a bullhorn because I was suffering from "post traumatic slavery syndrome". Call me names if you must, but this particular Northwest Nitwit sounds like the ideal dude to run notoriously lefty enclave like Seattle.

Newsworthy Donkey Clan Whines
Source: CNS News [08/08]

Brent Bozell's news outfit, CNS News, dished up the following lefty whines from a civil rights march that commemorates the 40th anniversary of the Voting Rights Act of 1965:

Judge Greg Mathis, from "The Judge Mathis Show":
"[Elephant Clan Party Leaders] all need to be locked up because they are all criminals and they are all thieves. It is indeed criminal to steal an election and within two years run up a federal deficit of half-a-trillion dollars, send our young people over to Iraq to die for an unjust war. What they are doing is criminal. [The] Supreme Court was an accomplice to the biggest election crime in history in 2000. And I call it a crime because indeed that is exactly what it was."

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi:
"Some changes have to be made so we don't have a repeat of 2000 and 2004 where there was intimidation and discrepancies at the polls. In the state of Ohio, where they had fewer voting booths and long lines in minority neighborhoods and no lines and many voting booths in white neighborhoods, that the balance is not what it should have been."

U.S. Rep. Barbara Lee (Mexifornia)
"The last two elections were stolen. They were stolen and so we will not rest until we reclaim our democracy and this is what today is all about."

U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters (Mexifornia)
"We are here to take on President Bush, [Vice President] Dick Cheney. We are here to take on [House Majority Leader] Tom DeLay. We are here to take on the new appointee to the Supreme Court, John Roberts."

These Donkey Clan whiners still can't get over the fact that George W. Bush won in 2000, despite the Donkey Clan's valiant effort to steal it for Al Gore. They still can't get over the fact that he did even better in 2004 by winning the popular vote and the electoral college tally. PIG News has a suggestion for them: shut up and grow up, or do everyone a favor and put a goddamn bullet through your miserable whiner head.

Adventures In Korrectness
Source: PIG News Wire [08/06]

NCAA bans schools using "Native American" names and symbols from hosting championship events.
Unable to ban Siberian-Amerikan names and mascots outright, the NCAA perpetrated an edict that bans "offensive" mascots and banishes "offensive" nicknames and mascots from team uniforms or any other clothing at NCAA tournaments, after February 1, 2006. Furthermore, schools perpetrated these "offensive" names or mascots would be banned from hosting an NCAA tournament. Ironically, this ban does not impact Division I-A football, since the NCAA does not control the post season bowl games.

Adopting a one size fits all strategy, NCAA Korrectniks didn't cut Ivory Towers like Florida State or Central Michigan University any slack. The NCAA pointedly, deliberately, ignored the fact that Florida State and Central Michigan have official written permission from the tribes in question to use the nicknames "Seminoles" and "Chippewas" respectively.

The NCAA needs to pull it's head out of it's Korrectnik butt and knock off this Korrectniks crap, right damn now!

NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) bans Siberian-Amerikan related terms from their defense exercise monikers.
Somehow a copy of a message from NORAD to Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld landed in the Washington Times "in" basket. According to this memo, NORAD is in the throes of a Korrectnik spasm that made them expunge any and all Siberian-Amerikan related terms from the names NORAD pins on their military exercises. The following examples will give you the big picture:

"Warrior" became "Phantom"
"Amalgam Chief" became "Amalgam Arrow"
"Amalgam Fabric Brave" became "Amalgam Fabric Dart"
"Fabric Indian" became "Fabric Sabre"
The following exercise monikers were deemed cool for school: "Northern Edge", "Vigilant Shield", "Ardent Sentry", "Amalgam Mute", and "Vital Archer".

PIG is shocked, shocked I tell you, that NORAD dares to blatantly assault the hearing-impared by using the egregiously InKorrect term "mute". Shame, shame shame.

Erasing History In Memphis
Source: Washington Times [08/04]

The Civil War might be over, but the aftershocks continue 140 years after it 'officially' ended. This Memphis skirmish pits the usual "400 years of slavery and oppression" whiners against diehard "sons and daughter of the Old South" all of whom are in a panty-twisting furor over three parks located within the city limits. Citing the city's 60% Melanin-Enriched demographics, Ethnocrats insist that the city rename Confederate Park, Jefferson Davis Park and [Nathan Bedford] Forest Park to something more, uh, enlightened.

Memphis Mayor Willie Herenton isn't thrilled spitless over the idea and worries - quite rightly - that a pitched public battle to rename the three parks would sully his city's reputation. Let's be real, the last damn thing Mayor Herenton wants or needs is a visit from Je$$e Jackson and/or Al Sharpton. A very clever politician, Mayor Herenton wants to dump this political hot potato on somebody else:

'...Mr. Herenton said he will ask the City Council to give the parks to the University of Tennessee and the nonprofit Riverfront Development Corp. The park bearing Forrest's name is beside the campus of the university's medical school. If the university or the development corporation wants to rename the parks, "that's their decision," Mr. Herenton said...' (Times)

PIG News predicts that, despite objections from Old South history preservationists, the three parks are destined to be renamed to something egregiously Korrectnik. Since a renaming is inevitable, and nobody has the nads to 'get 'er done', PIG News offers the following Korrectnik names for the three parks: "Reparations Park", "Oppression Park", and, in Je$$e's honor, "Racial Extortion" park. Why are we always asked to do the heavy lifting on these things?

---

Ethnocrat Angst in Miami
Source: Miami Herald [07/26]

Miami's Melanin-Enriched Ethnocrats are still in a lather over a recent press release issued by Miami Parks Director Ernest Burkeen. Channeling a PIGish attitude, this bureaucrat boldly promoted - we are not making this up - a "Ghetto Style Talent Show" and a "Watermelon Eating Contest". If you don't know that the bovine excrement hit the proverbial fan with a resounding splat, you're in a coma.

An Egghead from a local Ivory Tower - Florida International University - called the press release "an insult to black history and black pride".

A local resident, Grady Muhammad blithered that '...the billed talent show portrayed [a local black neighborhood's] youth as "subhuman" or "animals"...' (Herald).

Although he apologized, Parks Director Ernest Burkeen defended himself admirably:

'...Burkeen called the watermelon issue "probably an old stereotype that dates back to the 1950s. This is 2005. 'We didn't look at it as a stereotype. We looked at it as another food contest, like bobbing for apples or something. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously".

Burkeen also said that the words and images blared across the world by rap music artists are ''far more damaging'' to the image of African Americans than the use of the term ''ghetto'' to describe a talent show. "When you talk about some of the sex and violence that's around in this rap music -- that's played every day, that's celebrated every day. It's about perspective.''...' (Miami Herald)

How quickly did they pink slip Parks Director Burkeen? They didn't, nor is he expected to be dumped like a bad habit. The fun, but essentially irrelevant, fact here is that Mr. Burkeen is Melanin-Enriched by accident of birth, but a sovereign individual by choice.

A man with the nads to stage a watermelon eating contest in the 'hood belongs in PIG's Politically Incorrect Hall of Fame. We are, in this case, so damn amused we're goddamn insufferable.

Cultural Conditioning In Maryland
Source: Washington Times [07/21]

Maryland's Educrats reset the bar for frivolous Educrap antics with a new scheme to indoctrinate state Educrats at a blatantly multicultural gem called "Summer Institute for Urban Educators". The Korrectnik scheme started when certain Ivory Tower Eggheads decided that "Urban" Educrats can't get 'er done, until they can establish "cultural connectivity" with students and parents.

The Washington Times explains this irrational Educrap this way:

'...The program's sessions focused on race, urban literacy and integration of hip-hop and language into the urban curriculum. Some students, especially minorities in urban settings, are misunderstood because their teachers cannot identify with their ethnic or generational cultures. As a result, the students might lose interest in school or act out, program officials said...'

The prime mover behind this cultural crap-o-la is an egghead named Aretha McSwain, an Ethnocrat who spouts drivel about "immersing oneself in the student's culture", "getting comfortable with your own ethnicity" and "teachers who get culturally connected". Obviously, Ms. McSwain is incapable of treating human beings as "individuals". Instead of seeing each person as a sovereign individual, she sees tribes based on race/ethnicity. In this Egghead's fevered, alleged, brain, you're not an individual with your own individual skills and deficiencies. You're a "culture", an "ethnicity" and/or a "race".

This is garden variety racism dressed up in highbrow, multiculturally correct words and phrases. This wench is free to do whatever thrills her spitless on her own dime, but, since she's imposing this bovine excrement on a taxpayer funded cabal, I'm "empowered" to tell her to knock it the hell off.

Emerilizing Sexual Harassment
Source: Sacramento Bee [07/19]

Mexifornia's Supreme Court just Emerilized sexual harassment by, egregiously, expanding what constitutes a "hostile working environment". The case involved the warden of a Mexifornia state prison who got horizontal and squishy with not one, not two but three of his female subordinates. When, subsequently, two of the warden's playmates got savory job assignments and/or promotions, two of the wardens non-playmates went shyster assault bonkers, claiming the warden's hyperactive hormones created a hostile working environment. A lower court told them to get lost, but the Mexifornia Supreme Court stood up and saluted the notion with a unanimous decision:

'...In ruling that the two plaintiffs, both women, could claim they were harassed, the court determined that consensual workplace relationships can rise to the level of a hostile work environment when "the demeaning message is conveyed to female employees that they are viewed by management as 'sexual playthings' " - or when employees perceive that women must have a sexual relationship with a supervisor to get ahead...' (Bee)

For those who need a translation, here are the Cliff Notes: If your horndog boss beds a subordinate then promotes said sexual playmate, you can sue him for "hostile working environment" sexual harassment, even if he, she, heshe or it never laid a finger or a sexually-charged innuendo on you. That thundering sound you hear is coming from capitalists getting ready to flee the far from "Golden" State while there's still time.

The Father of Affirmative Action
Source: AP [07/14]

An 80-year old career bureaucrat named Arthur Fletcher achieved room temperature this week, but don't hold your breath waiting for PIG News to mourn his passing. Dubbed "The Father of Affirmative Action", Arty boy, imposed affirmative action on the marketplace during Tricky Dicky Nixon's first administration. Unwilling to rest on those fetid, liberty-nuking laurels, Arty served on the U.S. Civil Rights Commission during the Ford, Reagan and Bush I administrations, where he continued to prosecute his war on individual merit and excellence in the name of that Nanny State holy grail: diversity.

For promoting immutable traits over excellence, Arthur Fletcher is a prime candidate for PIG's Hall of Shame.

The NAACP Goes Reparations Bonkers
Source: Washington Times [07/12]

Eyes fixed firmly backwards, Dennis C. Hayes, the NAACP's interim president and chief executive officer, blames slavery for all the Melanin-Enriched whiners' problems. This career Ethnocrat wants to blame everybody, except for his Melanin-Enriched homies, for the problems plaguing the "black community". He's convinced that forcing companies that have any connection - however tenuous and remote - to slavery to pay reparations will make everything in the 'hood okey dokey.

The link to slavery is so 'inclusive', it makes any company operating in Amerika fair game. If a bank bought a bank that bought a bank that bought a bank that bought a bank that once in it's brief existence - 250 (+) years ago - accepted a deposit from a slave owner, or used a slave to weed its garden, the modern day firm is prime slave reparations bait. If, as a result of 50 or more mergers and acquisitions over the intervening 250(+) years an insurance firm finds that one of those early acquisition targets insured a slave owner's human "property", they're prime slave reparations bait. Bold New Concept.

I defy anyone - especially the NAACP's designated whiner - to make a convincing argument justifying this race card wranger's blatant extortion. How can anyone provide a rational justification proving that the modern day firm, is, in any way, responsible for the actions of companies that no longer exist...actions that occurred more than 250 years ago. It's highly unlikely that the NAACP can track down any living slavery "victims" and it's a slam dunk that the actual perpetrators are long dead, too. That's why this slave reparations shakedown is nothing more than garden variety extortion, on steroids.

"Your inflated feelings of entitlement don't authorize you to rewrite history, exaggerate the accomplishments and/or suffering of your ancestors, or to demand payment for things that happened to somebody else." (PIG Doctrine)

Tennessee Minutemen
Source: AP [07/03]

Located a whopping 1,800 miles from the Arizona-Mexican border where the Minuteman Project made its debut, Morristown, Tennessee seems an unlikely place for a Minuteman group. Unlikely or not, that's where the Tennessee Volunteer Minutemen are organizing their own effort to combat the border jumping scumbag invasion/occupation of the United States. Organized by "American Indian activist and erstwhile Tennessee gubernatorial candidate, Carl "Two Feathers" Whitaker", this Volunteer State Minutemen group is gearing up for action, despite all the hyperbole from the usual, border jumper coddling suspects.

'...Morristown Area Chamber of Commerce president Thom Robinson, who grew up in Montgomery, Ala., in the '60s and knows the terms and tactics long associated with hate groups like the Ku Klux Klan, said the group is practicing "the same sort of dogmatism that racists used against blacks in lower Alabama and across the South. I am seeing the same patterns here. I think ... the mind-set of some of these people is that anybody that has brown skin is here illegally. And that couldn't be further from the truth."...' (AP)

It's bad enough when the properly-hyphenated play the race card, but it's doubly noxious when a guilty honky like Thom Robinson whips it out. Carl Whitaker is determined to rescue his state from the invading, border jumping scumbag horde. That's not "racism" that's "patriotism". Whiner Robinson needs to put a damn sock in it.

Stamp Deemed "Racist"
Source: CBS [06/30]

The usual Ethnocrat suspects have their knickers in a knot over some new postage stamps that feature 'a black cartoon character with exaggerated features'. This isn't breaking news, you say. I won't argue the point, but this time out there's a tiny silver lining. The bad news is that Je$$e and numerous lower ranking Ethnocrats are in a full blown, race card waving frenzy over these "insulting", egregiously racist stamps. Even the White House spokeshole, Scott McClellan, called the stamps "offensive".

What about the good news? I'm all over it as usual. The good news is that the stamps in question were perpetrated by Vicente Fox's Mexican homeboys, not Uncle Sam. Call me names if that thrills you, but this looks like a classic win-win race card episode. Win one diverts Je$$e's attention to our south of the border neighbor, giving Amerika's rational adults a welcome breather from his incessant race card waving antics. Win two puts Vicente Fox in the Ethnocrat hot seat, and you gotta love anything that ruins that Mexican asshat's day.

For the record, Vicente's spokespunk, Ruben Aguilar, is spinning the stamps in question as a celebration of Mexico's so-called culture. Tell somebody who cares, dude. After all the crap you've shoveled out, it's about damn time you got pummeled with a load of Ethnocrat bovine excrement. What goes around, comes around, Sombrero Stomping Sparky, even south of the border, down Mexico way.

Today's Well Duh News Item
Source: San Jose Mercury News [06/28]

The breathless, all caps headline screamed "HISPANICS ACCOUNT FOR ONLY 10% OF INCREASE IN VOTERS", but the real news tidbit didn't rear its head to much later in this story. This fishwrap spew concerns a compelling - to certain alleged humans - statistical anomaly: Sombrero Stompers account for half the population growth between the last two Oval Office derbies but only 10% of the increase in voters. We're trying to be shocked, but it's hard to muster shock over such an obvious "well duh" factoid.

Is this institutional racism? Are those nasty Gringo bastards picking on "Latinos" again? Not exactly. The rubber hits the road in the prose found at the very end of this Mercury News piece:

'...The report found that the Hispanic population grew 5.7 million from 2000 to 2004, accounting for half the U.S. population growth of 11.5 million. But nearly two-thirds of those people were either under age 18 or were non-citizens. As a result, just 39 percent of the Latino population was eligible to vote, compared with 76 percent of whites and 65 percent of blacks.' (Emphasis added.)

Whenever the most relevant facts occur in the last paragraph or two of a fishwrap piece, it sets off a very annoying "liberal media spin" alarm in PIG's top secret bunker. I'm faced with a very troubling choice: turn the damn alarm off or stop reading these egregiously liberal fishwraps...Decisions, decisions.

It's That Time of Year, Again
Source: Sacramento Bee [06/27]

No doubt the nationwide outbreak of Gay Prance-A-Thons has you asking the burning question: "When did GLAAD BAAGs start celebrating their "pride" over being differently-sexual and how can we get them to knock it the hell off?" PIG can't help you with the second part of the question, but we can tell you when these public Swish-O-Ramas got started:

'...[Gay Pride Parades are] the legacy of the 1969 Stonewall riots, a series of fights between gays and police in New York City widely considered the beginning of the gay rights movement. The first commemoration of Stonewall and parade for gay rights was held in 1970...' (Sacramento Bee)

PIG has no problem with the differently-sexual being "proud" but, is there some compelling reason that they can't be "proud" quietly and dressed like a rational adult for a change? We know that you're "here" and we're trying our damnedest to be thrilled that you're "Queer", so sit down and shut the hell up.

Oprah's Race Card Adventure
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [06/24]

Oprah has her knickers in a hyper twist over the way a rooty-tooty Surrender Monkey store named Hermes treated Amerika's favorite, boob tube windbag. The fun started when Oprah showed up outside Hermes' Paris boutique and tried to enter. Depending on which source you believe Oprah was refused entry for one of the following reasons:

There was a special public relations meeting going on inside the store when Oprah arrived and that's why she wasn't allowed inside. [The official Hermes story.]

The store is owned and operated by dastardly racists who dissed Oprah because she's Melanin-Enriched. [Oprah's view.]

A very ratty looking Oprah was mistaken for a notorious Melanin-Enriched shoplifter and that's why she was refused admission to the store. [The most likely explanation.]

Completely unhinged by the incident she calls "one of the most humiliating moments in her life" (AP), Oprah called the president of Hermes in America to inform him that she won't shop in his racist store, ever again and, by the way, "cancel that bag I ordered". I guess she showed them, didn't she.

I can't be the only one who finds this unrelenting Oprah angst a bit asinine. The most humiliating moment in her life? Oprah really needs to get over herself.

Putting Korrectniks In Their Place
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [06/18]

Last Friday, the Seminole Tribe of Florida's Tribal Council passed a resolution - by a unanimous vote - that, in effect, told the NCAA's terminally Korrectnik Minority Opportunities and Interests Committee to take a chill pill. The resolution declared that the tribe is honored by Florida State's use of the "Seminoles" nickname. Tribal councilman, Max Osceola, made it clear enough that even these Korrectniks should "get it":

"The resolution is a formal document that puts into black and white the sentiment of the Tribe, because we feel that it is an honor and a reflection of the university to represent the spirit of the Seminole Tribe of Florida. Any other organization, people or Tribes should respect our wishes as we would respect their wishes." (AP)

If Ivory Towers using Siberian-Amerikan names and images is the biggest problem facing the NCAA, life is damn good so they should stop whining and get on with it. It's ironic that the Seminole Tribe of Florida - one of the alleged victims of Ivory Tower inkorrectness - has a better grip on reality than the Korrectnik whiners in the NCAA. We'd like to think that this Seminole Tribe wisdom would rub off on the NCAA. We'd like to think that it would, but we're not going to hold our breath waiting for NCAA Korrectniks to pull their heads out of their butts.

More Montgomery County Korrectness
Source: The Gazette (Montgomery County, Maryland) [06/15]

The unrepentant lefties who make life miserable for Montgomery County's vastly outnumbered rational adults are up to their old, kinder, gentler, Korrectnik Educrap tricks again. This time out, these nitwits are shocked, dismayed and downright alarmed that the local cess-school's programs for gifted and talented students are inherently, blatantly, "institutionally racist". The usual Korrectnik suspects are in crisis mode because the gifted and talented students turn out to be - gasp - predominantly white or Asian. For those of you who aren't up to speed on institutional racism here are the relevant Cliff Notes:

" Institutional oppression (henceforth institutional racism) can be as simple as demographics. Should a given element of society have fewer members of one or more victim groups than their percentage of the total population it's vilified as institutional racism. Should, on merit alone, one of the properly-hyphenated be passed over - the Academy Awards has been cited, numerous times - it's condemned as institutional racism. Should someone in a position of authority fail to appease the properly-hyphenated to the degree they desire...that's institutional racism. Since the rules are subjective, and dictated by notoriously fickle victim sensitivities, this one is nearly impossible to beat." ('The Victim Mentality' by T. D. Treat)

The primary complaint lodged by Montgomery County Korrectniks is that there's an unacceptable inequality of results - too few blacks and Hispanics are called gifted and/or talented. Therefore, these Ethnocrat whiners insist, the obvious solution is to tweak the qualifications for gifted and talented students until the proper diversity - based on U.S. Census statistics and calculated out to 7,473 decimal places - is achieved. In reality that means dumbing down the criteria until the dumbest inmate in the cess-school qualifies as gifted and talented.

By making everyone gifted and/or talented, Educrats don't do anybody any favors. The truly gifted and talented students don't get the intellectual stimulation they require, so they get discouraged and stop challenging themselves intellectually. At the same time, those dolts who are - erroneously - deemed properly-hyphenated Einsteins are headed for a crushing reality check when they get into the real world. Sooner or later, some rational adult will tell him, her, himher or it: "You're dumber than a box of rocks, Sparky."

Korrectnik School Names
Source: AP [06/14]

The Korrectniks in Hinesburg (Vermont) finally browbeat the relevant authorities into changing Champlain Valley Union High's "Crusaders" nickname because it gave hypersensitive Mecca Maniacs a boo-boo on their notoriously fragile psyches. Since this offending name evokes the crusades...since the school's official symbol is - gasp - a knight wearing a crucifix... "Crusaders" has been dumped like a bad habit. "Crusaders" in Howard Dean's backyard! We're shocked, shocked, I tell you.

At press time, nominees for the school's new nickname included "Redhawks", "Bob Cats" and "Red Wolves", all of which sound capital "B" boring. Always on the cutting edge when it comes to Korrectness of this sort, your favorite pagan scribbler offers the following nicknames for Champlain Valley Union High into the official record: "Towelhead Tramplers", "Sand Monkey Stompers". If they need some artwork for these stellar concepts, PIG's resident graphics guru can be persuaded to do the honors. We give and we give and we give, but does anyone thank us?

PIG's State-Of-The-Art Je$$e Translator
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [06/09]

Armed with several stop the presses Je$$e quotes from his emergency mission to rescue Mikey, PIG deployed its Top Secret Je$$e Translator 7000 and got the following results:

Je$$e 1
"His fate is in the jaws of the jury. If reasonable doubt is the standard, he'll be acquitted. But there have been shifting standards here, so we can't be sure."

J. T. 7000
(Filtered Translation)
"The brother won't frown when the gavel comes down"

(Unfiltered Translation)
"The man refuses to see how special Mikey is. This honky kangaroo court insists on treating Mikey like every other suspect."

Je$$e 2
"They went in there with 75 armed people as if they were expecting resistance. Then the tapes and personal items they removed made their way to the courtroom and the newsroom. They re-opened the books from his trial from 10 years before, so it's really a trial upon a trial. "

J . T. 7000
(Filtered)
"If the Vaseline don't stick, acquit, double-quick."

(Unfiltered)
"Just because Mikey is a career pervert doesn't mean that the man can screw over another brother by collecting evidence and citing Mikey's prior, well-documented bedding down boys adventures."

Je$$e 3
"...the financial forces that seek to bring Michael down haven't been discussed."

J. T. 7000
(Filtered)
"Je$$e justice makes you weep, cause he don't work cheap."

(Unfiltered)
"Those racist, honky rat bastards are out to steal the brother's money before I get my cut."

Je$$e 4
"If you had the highest profile white entertainer, accused of molesting some Black children and you had an all-Black jury, they would question whether that jury had the capacity to be fair. A jury of your peers is just a reasonable expectation."

J. T. 7000
(Filtered)
"Justice must be assisted, because the brother is twisted."

(Unfiltered)
"Mikey deserves to be tried by a jury of his peers: 12 bleached-skin, noseless freaks."

Je$$e 5
"One could contend that it is bizarre, but not illegal . . . I believe that conduct would be addressed and would not happen again." (Je$$e's evasion when "grilled" about Mikey's bedding down with boys antics.)

J. T. 7000
(Filtered)
"I got nothing to say about Mikey's weird ways"

(Unfiltered)
"I don't give a flaming damn about Mikey's perversions. I only here for the money and some News Cycle face time."

Je$$e 6:
"He is an African American, you see his mother and father there. [Saying Mikey isn't black] is just stupid and foolish."

J. T. 7000:
(Filtered Repose)
It isn't a blight that he bleached his skin white.
(Bonus Filtered Response)
Mikey must be a brother, just look at his mother.

(Unfiltered Response)
I don't care what color his skin is. Mikey is a brother, because no honky ever, voluntarily, supported a shiftless, Melanin-Enriched, family like Joe Jackson's.

Je$$e 7:
"Michael is very aware of the gravity of the situation and the political environment."

J. T. 7000:
(Filtered)
The man is haranguing to give the brother a hanging
(Bonus Filtered)
It says on his radar that he might go graybar.

(Unfiltered)
The great white bigot is gearing up to railroad the brother to appease those red state crackers.

Je$$e 8:
"He is exuding confidence and strength, though he has excruciating pain in his back and he is working through that pain."

J. T. 7000:
(Filtered)
The brother ain't faking that his back is still aching.
(Bonus Filtered)
He'll start revivin when the man stops this jivin.

(Unfiltered)
If Mikey thinks he's in pain, now, wait until he gets my bill."

Palm Beach County Goes Potty
Source: South Florida Sun-Sentinel [06/08]

With all the important issues solved, Palm Beach County Commissioners went regulatory bonkers over an issue that hits very close to home: the alarming - to them - inequity in public bathroom facilities. County Commissioners are shocked, shocked I tell you that women are forced to wait in line for their turn to answer nature's call, while men breeze in, do their business then breeze out in a fraction of the time.

County Commissioner Burt Aaronson channeled his 'female side', felt his sisters' pain and proposed that, henceforth, public bathroom facilities must perpetrate at least 1.5 stalls for the fair sex for every men's stall or urinal. When pressed, this alleged male admits that he'd be much happier with a 2 to 1 ratio.

'...[the] ordinance would govern new construction or extensive remodeling of buildings open to the public not in a city, town or village...' (Sun-Sentinel)

Foregoing the requisite pagan scribbler tirade on Nanny State violations of an individual's property rights, I'll run another pagan scribbler notion up the PIG News flagpole. When you dig down beneath all the No Nad whiner rhetoric, you soon discover that what has these nadless crones' knickers in a wad is the fun fact that males can pee standing up. These No Nads can't stand the fact that, for a dude, relief is as simple as 'zip, whip, whiz, shake, tuck, zip'. That's why they harangue their captive males - like Commissioner Aaronson - into punishing males by giving women a 2 to 1 public bathroom advantage. And now you really do know the rest of the story.

NAACP's Busted Boycott
Source: Sacramento Bee [06/03]

The five year old NAACP "Boycott South Carolina" campaign is, according to this news item, one of the world's best kept secrets, because damn near everyone - including countless Melanin-Enriched individuals - is ignoring this Ethnocrat cabal's lunacy. The boycott started with suitable fanfare when the NAACP vowed to boycott the state until it removed the Confederate battle flag from atop the statehouse dome. It continued, unabated, when, in July 2000 the flag was removed from the statehouse and relocated on a Confederate memorial, also on statehouse grounds. "Not good enough." the NAACP bellowed, "Bite me", the state's rational adults replied.

How, you ask, has the state fared under this unrelenting NAACP boycott? Not too bad, based on some data from the state's Department of Parks, Recreation & Tourism, not to mention certain other recent events.

Accommodations tax receipts increased by $3,5000,000 during the boycott.

Admissions tax revenue increased $2,500,000 during the boycott.

This years "Black Biker Week" was a rousing success.

A small conference of historically Melanin-Enriched Ivory Towers, the Eastern Intercollegiate Athletic Association, will stage its basketball tournament in Columbia (South Carolina) this year.

The only meaningful entity still honoring the boycott is the notoriously Korrectnik NCAA which continues its moratorium on scheduling new events in South Carolina. Otherwise, it seems that it's business as usual in this Dixie enclave. If you want to strike a blow for Inkorrectness, plan to spend some time in South Carolina this year and tell the NAACP boycott dipsticks that PIG sent you.

---

A Talibanma Race Card Adventure
Source: AP [05/29]

[This rant includes the following PIGisms:
Melanin-Enriched = Korrectniks prefer African-American
Talibanma = The state formerly known as Alabama]

A Melanin-Enriched, Talibanma wench slapped a Tuscaloosa Dillard's department store with the race card, claiming that the store's hair salon perpetrates a racist pricing policy. Debbie Deavers Sturvisant nailed Dillad's with a class-action lawsuit, citing as exhibit 'A', the fact that Dillard's charged her $35 for a wash and set, but only nailed a white woman $20, for the same service. We're shocked, shocked, I tell you.

As expected Dillard's spokespunk defended their pricing policy, categorically denying that the store, routinely, bases its prices on the race/ethnicity of the customer. Ms. Sturvisant's shyster isn't buying the store's explanation for a minute:

"The stereotype is that all black hair is the same. But that's erroneous, just as all hair for Caucasians is not the same...[Dillard's] "policy completely ignores hair length, which should be the real determining factor in how much they charge. Pricing ought to be based on reality, not stereotypes, and Dillard's needs to stop what they're doing." (Patrick C. Cooper, a Birmingham shyster as quoted by AP)

You probably won't die of shock when I lay some PIGish observations on you:

If, as Ms. Sturvisant claims, Dillard's is run by racist asshats, then she should punish them in the marketplace, not the courtroom. Take your business elsewhere and tell the world why Dillard's sucks.

Since Shyster Cooper is such an expert on all the fine points of hair care, maybe he's in the wrong profession. Who knew that Shyster 101 included a comprehensive course in hair care? Learn something new every day.

Dillard's owners are entitled to perpetrate any pricing policy that thrills them spitless. If their pricing policy sucks, then the marketplace, not the government and/or its justice system will exact a suitable revenge.

No matter how this class action crap-o-la turns out, the only winner will be Shyster Cooper.

PIG News dares to ask the tough questions. Why is Je$$e missing in action when Debbie needs him? Why isn't he making Dillard's miserable over this hair pricing fiasco? What's his damage? Here's a golden opportunity for some of Je$$e's patented race card extortion and he's letting this Talibanma shyster plunder those deep, honky pockets. Get with the program, Je$$e and live down to your sorry-ass extortionist reputation.

Chasing Phantoms In Berkeley
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [05/21]

Berkeley (Mexifornian) hacks are poised to attack a problem that - inexplicably - is endemic throughout this terminally lefty enclave: slavery. These Beserkeley hacks are so distressed over slavery that they're poised to enact a new edict that will require any firm doing business with the city to air their dirty, slavery-related, laundry. If a firm had any connection, however tenuous, with slavery at any time in the Universe's 15 billion year history, they must, instantly, grovel at the city's feet and beg, piteously for mercy.

The following blithering from this Chronicle piece gives you the big picture on the alleged 'thinking' behind this asinine Beserkeley notion:

"I think it's part of the healing process, part of the educational process, and part of the recognition of the role of African Americans in the American economy,'' (Beserkeley Councildolt Darryl Moore)

"I'm a proud sponsor of the item. I think it's important for citizens in this country to understand how much of the generational wealth that gets passed down started on the backs of the slaves.'' (Beserkeley Councilwench Dona Spring)

Reportedly, the edict would give most companies 6 months to sort through their dirty historical laundry and confess their slavery related sins. Failure to disclose will be punished by termination of their contractual arrangements with this differently-rational Mexifornia enclave. The edict also empowers private citizens to file slavery-related lawsuits against companies, making this an especially enriching endeavor for Beserkeley's shyster horde.

It would be easy to shrug this off as typical Beserkeley bovine excrement, but this dirty slavery laundry scam is spreading from sea to shining sea. Mexifornia has a law that forces insurance companies to confess their slavery-related sins. Chicago perpetrated a similar ordinance, last year, plus, at press time, similar antics were under discussion in The Gulag, Alameda County, Richmond (Mexifornia) and Oakland (Mexifornia). If you're not smelling a Je$$e-class "extort some money from the man" scheme, you're in a coma. Wake the hell up, Sparky, because your city might be next.

Yearbook Uproar in Florida
Source: Palm Beach Post [05/18]

When the yearbook staff conferred a certain award on class of 2005 member, Robert Richards, everything was nifty for all concerned, until Robert's mom, Jacqueline Nobles, saw the yearbook photograph that accompanied the award. In a heartbeat, 'mom' went postal, demanding that all the yearbooks be recalled so the 'offending' photograph could be expunged. And what, you ask, sent Robert's mommy into a frenzy? You're gonna love it, PIGsters:

'...Students voting on superlatives — a staple of yearbooks for decades — elected Richards as "Most Whipped" by his girlfriend, using the slang term for a person who is controlled by another in a relationship. The accompanying photo shows Richards, who is black, on a leash held by Melissa Finley, who is white...' (Post)

Mom's reaction to these high school hijinks is straight out of race card 101 and would make Je$$e himself green with envy:

'..."I know it's supposed to be in fun, but there are people still having trouble with African-Americans' past and this will be offensive," said Nobles, who said the picture reminded her of the poster for the 1970s miniseries Roots, which featured a manacled slave. "This picture, to me, is very distasteful."...' (Post)

With a race card in play, the relevant Educrap officials are actively seeking somebody to blame and the leading candidate for 'fall on your sword for Boynoton Beach High' duty is yearbook adviser, Jordon Barenburg. The officials are so distraught that they're holding onto the 460 remaining yearbooks and trying to reclaim the 240 that were already distributed. If you had one of the banned yearbooks would you give it back?

Curiously unfazed by the fuss is Robert himself who 'feels mom's pain', no doubt, but doesn't share her race card wrangling sentiments. He said it all when he opined, "Kunta Kinte - that was over 300 years ago." Heads might very well roll over this cess-school race card epic, but PIG News is delighted to note that Robert Richards has his head on straight and his priorities in their proper order.

Vicente's Mea Culpa
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [05/18]

When the backlash came for his asinine "work that not even blacks want to do", Vicente Fox issued the requisite Mea Culpa via a press release then tried to mend his political fences with the 'black community' by inviting Je$$e and Rev. Al down for a chat about resolve any outstanding 'issues' between Blacks and Hispanics. When he heard this thrilling news, another man of the cloth, Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, founder and president of BOND (Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny) came out swinging, with the following stop the presses prose:

"President Vicente Fox should not meet with Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton. These self-appointed leaders don't speak for clear-thinking Blacks. They are two of the most racially divisive men in America. Fox's willingness to meet with Black racists is adding insult to injury. Furthermore, if Fox wants to improve relations between Blacks and Hispanics he should stop undermining U.S. immigration policies and efforts to secure the borders. Blacks resent seeing their community hospitals, schools, and jobs being taken over by illegal aliens from Mexico."

Anyone who has ever had one of 'those' weeks, knows exactly how Vicente feels. Normally, we'd try to feel a dude's pain, but in this case, we plan to enjoy watching Vicente twist in the wind. Break out the old checkbook Vicente, because Je$$e's official 'forgiveness' never comes cheap.

Je$$e To The Rescue
Source: AP [05/16]

A Je$$e intervention was in the cards from the instant L.A. County Sheriff deputies concluded a car chase with a 120 round fusillade that wounded the Chevy Tahoe's Melanin-Enriched driver 4 times. This incident got Emerilized to a much higher level when Je$$e flew in on his broom, brandished his trusty dusty race card and accused the marksmanship challenged deputies of committing a hate crime. A hate crime? I might concede to crappy police work, and I'll damn sure stand up and salute bad marksmanship, but no way in hell is this a hate crime, Je$$e.

Setting aside Je$$e's stereotypical antics as business as usual, I do have one or two PIGish observations about this incident:

If you're driving thru a free fire zone and can't afford a tank or armored personnel carrier, a Chevy Tahoe is the next best thing in gunfire protection.

If your lifestyle invites cops to blaze away at you on a regular basis, make damn sure that it's Los Angeles Sheriff deputies wielding the guns. They couldn't hit the Goodyear Blimp at point-blank range.

Je$$e needs shut up and face the facts. The incident started normally enought, when Sheriff's deputies tried to stop a Melanin-Enriched motorist who may, or may not, have provoked them. The on-going investigation of this incident will sort all that out, so cool your jets, stow your race card where the sun don't shine and take your chill pill like a good little Ethnocrat. The facts suggest that this incident involves plain vanilla ineptitude, race card wrangler Sparky.

Stranger Than Fiction
Source: Tongue Tied [05/15]

When some Siberian Americans [so-called Native Americans] tried to muscle the NCAA into forcing Florida State University to drop their "Seminoles" moniker, the school got support from an unexpected source: The Seminole Tribe of Florida. Annoyed by interference from out-of-state, Siberian American "activists", the Seminole Tribe laid a verbal smackdown on the whiners:

'..."I have a problem with other native groups from around the country telling the Seminoles of Florida what is right or wrong for us," said Louise Gopher, education director for the Seminole Tribe of Florida...' (Tongue Tied)

The Seminole Tribe isn't the least bit upset over Florida State's "Seminoles" moniker. In fact, the tribe, explicitly, '...gave the university permission to use the "Seminoles" nickname and tribal symbols in 1997...' (Tongue Tied). PIG News confers heartfelt kudos on the Seminole Tribe of Florida for telling the American Indian Movement and their Korrectnik cohorts to butt the hell out.

CAIR Is Whining Again
Source: AP [05/11]

CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations) whines that, according to their unbiased statistics Mecca Maniacs are more picked on, now, than they were following the 9/11 attacks. For those who give a damn, here are some relevant alleged facts comparing 2004 data to 2003 data:

Hate crimes are up 52% (92 in 2003, 141 in 2004)

Civil rights violations up 49% (1,021 in 2003, 1,522 in 2004)

Unreasonable arrests in 2004 = 385

Religious discrimination in 2004 (i.e. opposition to presence of a Mosque) = 225

Employment discrimination in 2004 = 196

Verbal harassment in 2004 = 190

The most interesting alleged fact cited by CAIR involves 4 cases of "Internet discrimination" in 2004. PIG apologizes to its loyal readers for not doing enough to be cited - by name - in this prolonged CAIR whine-a-thon. Chagrined and deeply ashamed over our failure, we promise to try harder, in 2005.

Arizona's Hispanic Boycott
Source: Washington Times [05/11]

Tuesday's (05/10) statewide boycott went so smoothly that nobody in Arizona even noticed the difference. Intended to punish the state's legal residents for picking on the border jumping scumbags in their midst, a whiner group named "Centro de Ayuda" saturated the Spanish language airwaves with pleas from community and civic leaders for "Hispanics" to stay home and boycott work and businesses. The problem with this particular boycott is that the targeted "Hispanics" ignored the damn thing, because they couldn't afford losing a whole day's pay.

Beating a hasty, rhetorical, retreat Centro de Ayuda's executive director, Elias Bermudez, spewed whoopers about this one day boycott being a trial run for the real boycott - a three day boycott planned for July. Is anyone else smelling salsa flavored bovine excrement? Wake up and smell the coffee, Elias. If your Hispanic homeboys can't afford to lose one day's pay, there's no way in hell they'll be willing to forgo three days in July. How does "D'Oh" translate into Spanish?

Racial Bean Counting
Source: Entertainment This Week [05/02]

The lotus clan whiners in the National Asian Pacific American Legal Consortium are shocked, shocked I tell you, that Asians are egregiously underrepresented in boob tube programming fare. It's intolerable, they insist, and they want somebody to resolve this deplorable situation, ASAP. Focusing on prime time boob tube fare, these NAPALC whiners cited the following deplorable factoids in their annual racial bean counting 'study':

Asians make up 5% of the U.S. Population, but among recurring characters on boob tube shows they come in at a paltry 2.7%.

There are no Asian characters in situation comedies. They're most likely to appear in dramatic series.

Story lines seldom 'flesh out' Asian characters with details from their private life.

Roles reinforce 'stereotypes' about Asians being a "hyper-intelligent minority"

I'll take each whimper in turn:

Too few Asians on television
Obviously NAPALC's cable provider isn't giving them the two all Asian, all the time, channels that appear on my cable blight. Why, exactly, is this exclusively-Asian boob tube fare excluded from NPALC's annual racial bean counting whimper?

If, as they claim, there are too few Asians on the tube, then, instead of whining about it, why doesn't NAPALC round up all those under-employed Asians who have the right, boob tube stuff and organize their own all Asian programming production company?

No Asians in situation comedies
There are two possible reasons for this. Perhaps, Asians aren't funny. Or, more likely, if Asians did appear in a sitcom, you and all the other Korrectnik whiners would nitpick the show to death because it demeaned the lotus clan.

Shows don't share details of Asian characters personal lives
With Korrectnik clowns like NAPALC examining boob tube fare with a magnifying glass in one hand and the race card in the other, boob tube producers are, quite reasonably, playing it safe, by 'not going there'.

Shows portray Asians as a "hyper-intelligent minority"
Would you prefer that they depicted them as scumbags, morons, and cretins? Besides, Asian's aren't, really "hyper-intelligent", but they are, stastically speaking, "hyper-studious".

If NAPALC is looking for some 'love' on this too few Asians on the tube scam, PIG has their back. The entire PIG staff would stand up and salute - plus numerous other things best left unsaid - if boob tube producers did the right thing and included at least two Asian hotties in every show. All this PIG sensitivity is enough to make this pagan scribbler puddle up [sniffle].

Melanin-Enriched Ethnocrats On The March
Source: AP [05/02]

Three top Ethnocrats - Je$$e Jackson, Al Sharpton and Louis Farrakhan - used the 10th anniversary of the "Million Man March" to announce plans for a similar event, scheduled for October in D.C. The new Ethnocrat scheme is, tentatively, named: the Millions More Movement. Louis the Lip spewed the following stop the presses prose:

"Millions More means we're reaching for the millions who carry the rich on their backs."

"If anybody deserves to strap a bomb on themselves and give pain for the pain and suffering we have suffered it is we. But none of us would kill." (AP)

PIG readers who can't wait to pencil this event on their crowed calendar will be thrilled to hear that this unfolding drama occurs in two distinct stages. Friday, October 14, is slated as "a day of absence from school and work". Saturday, October 15 is the march on D.C. Be there, if you dare, oppressors, because when it comes to Louis the Lip, white ain't ever right.

Gulag Korrectnik Cabal Brainwashes Its Own Children
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [04/27]

A Gulag (paganese for San Francisco) NO NAD cabal - University of California at San Francisco's Center for Gender Equality - is so terminally twisted that they even impose their NO NAD brainwashing on their own offspring. This fetid flotsam floated onto the PIG's Korrectnik abuse radar via a Chronicle piece about the Center's antics during this year's "Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day".

What the wenchlets get to do:

'...the 9- and 10-year-old daughters are being invited to participate in 17 hands-on activities such as working with microscopes, slicing brains, doing skull comparisons, seeing what goes on in the operating room, playing surgeon, dentist or nurse for a day, and visiting the intensive care unit nursery, where they can set up blood pressure cuffs and operate the monitors...' (Chronicle)

Meanwhile the little dudes are condemned to sensitivity training.

'...[This is nifty with Center Director Amy Levine because] the boys have their own gender sensitivity program, where "they learn about violence prevention and how to be allies to the girls and women in their lives."...' (Chronicle)

Tragically, there's no way to rescue the little dudes from this NO NAD Korrectnik's intolerable brainwashing, so the best this pagan can do is name Ms. Levine this week's Korrectnik Asshat of the Week.

An Atypical Hate Crime Daily Double
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [04/26]

Chicago, Illinois
When a cretin started sent hate mail to at least three properly-hyphenated students at the Windy City's Trinity International University, everybody circled the wagons to protect the students attending this Cross Cult Ivory Tower. Until the dastardly racist got caught, nobody was safe, the usual Ethnocrat suspects opined. Things got so bad that school officials sent 100 of its resident undergraduate students into temporary, protective, exile in nearby hotels or private homes. Has some hood-wearing cretin painted a racist bull's-eye on Trinity International University? Not exactly.

This week, the letter writing chickens came home to roost. When the dust settled, the culprit who wrote the incendiary letters to certain black and Latino students turned out to be a Melanin-Enriched coed who wanted to prod her parents into pulling her out of school. She might get her wish, but not the way she originally intended. At press time the proper authorities charged her with "disorderly conduct and a hate crime" (Reuters). A Melanin-Enriched female nailed for hate crime? The odds on that are so long that even the worlds most formidable super computer can't calculate them.

New York, NY
Big Apple justice officials just filed hate crime charges against an angry wench mob that went postal over the use of a basketball court in Marine Park. As usual, it's those devilish details that elevate this incident from 'so what' to 'what the hell?'. Here's how a BOND (Brotherhood Organization of A New Destiny) posting described the ensuing turmoil:

'...The Brooklyn Corporation Counsel’s Office in New York [just charged] a group of black teens with a hate crime in the alleged racially motivated beating of six 15-year-old white Catholic school girls last month. According to reports, 20-30 black girls unleashed a vicious beating on the girls while shouting "black power," "white crackers," and even "Martin Luther King."...' (BOND press release)

This pagan scribbler usually supports attitudes espoused by BOND's founder, Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, but this time out I can't stand up and salute his support for hate crime charges. By endorsing the hate crime charges, Rev. Peterson, erroneously makes the perpetrators thoughts - their emotional state - more important than their actions. The essential element in this case is the incontrovertible fact that 20-30 girls physically assaulted six 15 year old wenchlets. The crime itself is the only salient fact in this case. When Rev. Peterson...when the proper authorities...wave the bloody "hate" shirt and charge the Melanin-Enriched mob with a hate crime, they're letting the perpetrators thoughts distract them from the crime itself. This pagan scribbler hopes that Rev. Peterson will rethink his stance and place the emphasis where it belongs, on the mobs' criminal actions, rather than their thoughts.

Maybe Rev. Peterson and I would be on the same page if he took this PIG wisdom to heart:

'Hate Crime' infers, erroneously, that there are 'noble' motives for committing a crime. Assault is assault and murder is murder, no matter what the intellectually flat-lining perpetrator has on his alleged mind. (The PIG Doctrine)

Zero Tolerance Makes Landfall in South Windsor, Connecticut
Source: Stamford Advocate (Connecticut) [04/17]

"Once feelings are established as the barometer of acceptable behavior, speech (and by extension, thought) becomes only as free as the most sensitive group will permit."
'A Nation of Victims', By Charles Sykes

Four hormone gorilla's from a South Windsor high school thrilled differently-sexual students - and the school's Korrectnik administrators - when they showed up for school wearing t-shirts that read "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". At first, school principal John Dilorio deemed the shirts 'provisionally' cool for school, if they didn't distract the cess-school's inmates from their daily adventure in Educrap.

Faster than warp speed sissy spit, the lads exercise in free speech earned them school-wide ignobility, plus exile from the school for the remainder of the day, after the usual suspects went Korrectnik postal over the lads' provocative shirts:

'...students say they felt threatened by the shirts, which also quoted Bible verses pertaining to homosexuality. "I didn't feel safe at this school today," said Diana Rosen, who is co-president of the school's Gay-Straight Alliance...' (Stamford Advocate)

For the last word on this asinine adventure in Zero Tolerance, I'll quote the timeless wisdom contained in the PIG Doctrine:

"Since a word is nothing more than an ethically-neutral sequence of sound waves, it only has as much power for good or evil as the listener bestows upon it. There are no intrinsically 'offensive' sound waves, there are only hypersensitive listeners who are predisposed to being offended by them."

Shut The Hell Up Day
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [04/13]

GLAAD BAAGs declared today (April 13, 2005) their annual "Day of Silence", a day during which government cess-schooled - plus some Ivory Tower based - GLAAD BAAGS, and those who feel their victimhood pain, take a vow of silence to draw attention to the GLAAD BAAGs' tragic plight. In and of itself, this notion isn't fatally flawed. The problem, as PIG sees it, is that it doesn't last long enough, nor does it encompass all the whiners, activists, and pontificators that PIG fervently wishes would shut the hell up.

Why should this "shut the hell up" concept be restricted to one day? If a day is good, then the longer the delicious silence, the better the results. Why not a week of silence, a month of silence, a year of silence, or a decade of silence? Why not go for the gold and declare a century of silence? As thrilling as this sounds, it doesn't get us where we really want to go.

The primary problem with the "Day of Silence" concept is that it only applies to GLAAD BAAGs and those who feel the differently-sexual dweebs' pain.. Although we prefer a longer respite, PIG would stand up and salute the notion if all the Korrectnik asshats in Amerika declared a "Day of Silence". PIG promises to, eagerly, accept a "Day of Victimist Silence", if Je$$e and Company, the NO NADs, the properly-hyphenated, and their political hack toadies would put a goddamn sock in it for 24 glorious hours.

[PIG knows that Je$$e can't keep his mouth shut for 24 seconds, so we would be forced to guarantee his compliance by dispatching a PIG staffer to dog Je$$e's steps during this "Day of Victimist Silence". How? Did I forget to mention that our staffer would be carrying a kicked up, Tim the Toolman class, cattle prod? PIG has so many zap Je$$e volunteers that we're seriously considering auctioning off this plum assignment.]

In addition to the usual suspects, PIG insists on at least one "Shut the Hell Up" day from the following alleged humans:

Pontificating Political Peabrains like Harry Reid, Bobby Byrd and Teddy Kennedy. We suspect it might require sewing their lips shut.

Comrade Hillary, although we demand at least a year. We confidently predict that the whole congregation would greet some blessed, Comade Hillary silence with a rousing "hallelujah".

Loony, Lip-Flapping, Liberal Celebrities. On all other, non-silence, occasions they should save their voices and restrict themselves to such weighty issues as "Do you want fries with that?".

If the differently-sexual can stay silent for a day then Amerika's smugly-sanctimonious, "hating homos for the Lord", asshats should zip their publically pious lips for at least that long.

Although its silly, much too short, and not 'inclusive' enough, this "Day of Silence" only merits a shrug and a smirk from PIG, largely because it's voluntary. Aren't you just a tad ashamed that you predicted we'd say something egregiously insensitive about this asinine Korrectnik lunacy? As usual, we forgive you, Sparky.

Andrea Dworkin
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [04/12]

Don't hold your breath waiting for this pagan scribbler to shed any tears over NO NAD icon, Andrea Dworkin's transition to room temperature this week. Among other things she aided and abetted Catherine McKinnon's highly successful scheme to add the infamous "hostile working environment" to Amerika's sexual harassment laws.

The following quotes tell you all you'll ever need to know about this man hating Harpy:

"Pornography is used in rape -- to plan it, to execute it, to choreograph it, to engender the excitement to commit the act."

"Romance is rape embellished with meaningful looks"

"Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice."

"I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig."

Believe it or not, this steaming, NO NAD load had a husband! If you've ever seen Andrea's mug shot, you'll fully understand why PIG staffers are shocked, shocked I tell you.

Afterthoughts:
For more information on sexual harassment "hostile working environment" and other NO NAD atrocities take a tour through PIG's "Gendercrats" section.

The Pink Brick Award
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [04/08]

Mexifornia's Senator Diane Feinstein incurred GLAAD BAAG wrath when, following the Donkey Clan's dismal performance in the November 2004 election cycle, she opined that the campaign to legalize same-sex marriage hurt the Donkey Clan at the polls. Determined to punish Senator DiFi for getting too real, a Gulag-based GLAAD BAAG cabal nominated the Senator for their "Pink Brick" award. What, you ask, is the Pink Brick? As usual, I'm all over it:

'...[The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Pride Committee's Pink Brick award is] a dubious honor bestowed on the public figure a San Francisco group decides has done the most to damage the gay rights cause...' (Chronicle)

Trodding the trail blazed by such illustrious past winners as Dr. Laura Slessinger and President George W. Bush, Senator DiFi faced stiff competition this year from everyone's favorite homophobic supernaturalist, Rev. Lou Sheldon. Making her bid for Pink Brick immortality especially tough, Rev. Lou's hatefest - the Traditional Values Coalition - was also nominated. PIG is thrilled to report that Senator DiFi won handily: DiFi got 363 votes, easily beating Rev. Lou's 276 votes and the TVC's 131.

Determined to honor their Pink Brink winner, this GLAAD BAAG cabal is making noises about inviting Senator DiFi to ride in the Gulag's June 26, Gay Pride Prance-A-Thon. Bold New Concept. This pagan is forced to wonder if the same invite would be extended to Rev. Lou, if he managed to win the coveted Pink Brick?

Afterthought:
PIG is profoundly disappointed that its steadfast efforts to outrage hypersensitive GLAAD BAAGs didn't earn us a place on this year's Pink Brick ballot. We're shocked, shocked I tell you.

Group Think Outcasts
Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer [04/04]

It's called the "Generation MIX National Awareness Tour and it's a plaintive wail sent up by mixed-raced whiners who don't qualify for recognized minority perks because they don't fit neatly into one specific victim group. To put it bluntly, since they can't adopt any given group's mantle of victimhood they're treated like...unhyphenated white males. They want in on the victimhood goodies and they want in right damn now.

'...Because mixed-race people often can check just one box on forms, they can be overlooked when resources are allocated or groups are targeted for assistance, such as in education, said Matt Kelley, MAVIN's [a Seattle base cabal that whines on behalf of mixed race dweebs] founder and president...' (Post-Intelligencer, emphasis added)

This is victimism in all its fetid glory, because Generation MIX operates on the asinine assumption that an individual is a race, an ethnicity, period. In other words, your immutable traits define who and what you are. This is the legacy of group think, where your group affiliation is the be-all, end-all of your identity. If Generation MIX wants to change their plight...If they want to "level the Amerikan playing field" they should devote their national tour to destroying the group think plague that leaves them on the outside looking in.

Attention mixed-race whiners: Don't follow the thundering, group think herd over the cliff into abject victimhood. Dare to be different. Dare to recapture that rugged individualism that separated Americans from the rest of the world. You start with the basics by proudly declaring: "I am not a "fill in the blank" Amerikan. I am that unique blend of skills, attitudes, beliefs, experiences, and deficiencies which nobody else shares. I am proud to declare that I am in individual, so back off, group think punk."

Are we all on the same page now, Sparky? We damn sure better be...

The dastardly capitalists skulking within two Chico (Mexifornia) restaurants incurred Sombrero Stomping wrath when they had the audacity to - gasp - advertise Caesar Chavez Day specials. How dare they commercialize this Korrectnik holiday? We're shocked, and so are the usual suspects. Spearheading the Chavez Day whine-a-thon, MEChA meatheads found the restaurants' ads unremittingly "demeaning". For those who obsess on such things, here are the fun facts about the ads that launched Chico State (a Mexifornia Ivory Tower) Ethnocrats:

Normal Street Bar's ad "shows a busty woman picking fruit and offers discounted drinks to people wearing sombreros."

Bunz Thrill of the Grill's ad offers thirsty patrons "discounts on tequila shots and a brand of Mexican beer"

Chico State Ethnocrats reached orbital velocity when they noted that these dastardly, spelling-challenged capitalists misspelled the honoree's name. Unapologetically amused - in the extreme - PIG, eagerly, doff's its sombrero to honor Normal Street Bar and Bunz Thrill of the Grill for their courage under Ethnocrat fire. Breaking news: Political Incorrectness is alive and well in Chico, Mexifornia. Can we get a rousing "Ole" from the congregation? Probably not.

Barry Bonds Plays the Race Card
Source: San Jose Mercury News [03/30]

A stellar ballplayer and relentlessly 'fun' dude, Barry Bonds strayed into well charted victicrat waters when he blamed the bad publicity ensuing from his "alleged" steroid use on oppressor-perpetrated racism. I really should stop oppressing, poor, deprived, multimillionaire, Barry. I'm so ashamed [sigh].

Barry spewed this prose during a news conference at the onset of spring training:

"If I was a long ways from Babe Ruth, this wouldn't be the same. Because Babe Ruth is one of the greatest baseball players ever, and Babe Ruth ain't black. I'm black. Blacks, we go through a little more, and that's the truth. Unfortunately, I said it. And I'm not a racist, but I live in the real world." (Mercury News)

[Barry, dude, if you actually lived in the real world, you'd know that whitey has already been there, done that on a Melanin-Enriched ballplayer beating Babe's record. Take a chill pill and walk down memory lane to slugger named Hank Aaron.]

Last week, he spewed this self-pitying drivel:

"You wanted to bring me down. You finally have brought me and my family down." (Mercury News)

["They" didn't bring you down, Barry. You did that to yourself when you got caught using steroids.]

Determined to rescue this tragic victim of rampant oppression, Ethnocrats rushed to Barry's defense:

"If you have a black man who's conscious and independent and on the verge of breaking Babe Ruth's record...that's frightening. If you speak out, if you don't play to what white America wants, there will be persecution, scrutiny and unfair reporting." (Leonard Moore, a Louisiana State University professor who teaches a course on the history of the African-American athlete)

"We make a demand of our black stars in particular that they be friendly and agreeable. When a white star like Joe DiMaggio turns distant and surly, it's considered dignity. Is there a double standard? Absolutely. Is he crazy to think it's about race? Not at all." (John Thorn, the editor of the encyclopedia Total Baseball. Ethnicity: Guilt-ridden oppressor)

"Your persistent attacks on Barry Bonds and your deliberate smear campaign against him is clearly a racial matter. I know that fact personally as a non-black U.S. citizen of Middle Eastern origin. You are all incensed that not only one black man (Aaron) but potentially now two black men (Aaron and Bonds) will smash through the achievements of the great white hope, darling Babe." (Excerpt from a letter to the Mercury News)

After playing the race card, Barry decided to pick up his toys and go home for most, if not all, of the season. Remind me to schedule some 'give a damn' time, right after I send that generous donation to NOW. It's don't hold your breath time in the pagan scribbler bunker.

Chronically Offended Invade North Dakota
Source: Grand Forks Herald (North Dakota) [03/30]

The chronically-offended convened outside the University of North Dakota's Ralph Engelstad Arena to whine, whimper, a carry on because this Ivory Tower perpetrates a nickname that gives Siberian-American's a boo-boo: 'The Fighting Sioux'. A protest over a Siberian-American nickname is hardly breaking news, but couple tidbits make it worth mentioning.

Tidbit one involves a professional whiner group named "National Coalition on Racism in Sports and the Media". It's founding board member is a writer and an art professor, named Charlene Teters. Bottom Line: Ms. Teters is a wench with way too much time on her hands.

Tidbit two is Daniel Green who is described as - I am not making this up - "A Diversity Studies professor and the University of Wisconsin". I can't be the only one who views a whole Ivory Tower discipline devoted to diversity as the ultimate Educrap obscenity. Translation: Mr. Green is a Siberian-Amerikan with way too much time on his hands who whined his way onto the tax-funded gravy train.

If a team calling themselves "The Fighting Sioux" is the biggest problem facing these two egghead retards, life is damn good so they should stop whining and get on with it.

Southwest Airlines Hangs Tough On Wide-Loads
Source: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette [03/13]

At 5-11 and 300 pounds, Michael Gigliotti should have seen it coming when he booked a flight on, 'wide loads pay for two seats', Southwest Airlines. Unless Michael just emerged from coma, he should be up to speed on Southwest Airline's wide load policy. Whatever he did or didn't know about Southwest Airlines, before he got onboard, he's got the, uh, big picture...now:

'...a $552 bill for the late-February trip quickly went up when a late-boarding passenger complained he could not fit in the seat next to the 5-11, 300-pound Gigliotti. A supervisor from Southwest Airlines boarded the plane, crouched next to Gigliotti and said he would have to pay for a second seat on the return flight, claiming the dentist's large frame would not fit entirely in the 17-inch-wide space. Gigliotti did not feel humiliation -- just rage.

"This won't hold up in court," he told the Southwest supervisor.

"It already has," was her response, according to Gigliotti...' (Post-Gazette)

According to this fishwrap spew, other airlines - US Airways, Northwest Airlines & America West Airlines - have a similiar wide loads pay double policy, but, unlike Southwest Airlines, they don't enforce it with such grim resolve. This makes Southwest Airlines public enemy number one for a wench named Mary Ray Worley - she's a board member on a Mexifornia based wide load cabal named, National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance:

"I still think it's discriminatory to make me buy two seats. I believe I am entitled to the space I take up. It's a basic civil right issue. A lot of people believe it is within my control to be whatever size I am. That is completely false." (Mary Ray Worley as quoted by the Post-Gazette)

I know what you're thinking and, as usual, I'm all over it. Yes, Sparky, we do have the essential factoids to answer the burning question: Just how wide is Ms. Worley's load? This five foot one inch wench tips the truck scales at a svelte, 350 pounds. I'm thinking that two seats aren't enough. Southwest Airlines should make her pay for three.

The Rules Are The Rules...Unless
Source: Seattle Times [03/12]

Northwest Ethnocrats breathed a sign of relief when a King County (Washington) Judge deep-sixed a lawsuit that challenged the state requirement that all Washington cosmetologists plunk down an estimated $7,500 for 1,600 hours of training before they're qualified for an official cosmetology license. The case in question featured a Melanin-Enriched wench who braided hair 'African style', the way her Senegalese mother taught her. Fear not, Ethnocrat dweebs, the Judge 'did the right thing, for the good of society as a whole' when he tossed the case out. Citing a recent, Korrectnik, ruling by the state's Department of Licensing, the judge ruled the case moot, since the Department of Licensing, specifically, exempted African-style hair braid purveyors from the state's [asinine] cosmetology regulations.

The breaking news here isn't an Ethnocrat coddling bureaucracy, nor is the Korrectnik antics of this King County Superior Court judge. What deserves unrelenting condemnation is a Nanny State on steroids bureaucracy that requires 1,600 hours of training before someone is allowed to give a willing customer that 'do'. No doubt Washington's coffee-swilling lefties think the state's unwarranted intrusion into the cosmetology marketplace is nifty in the extreme, because, we've all seen the utter havoc a bad hair day can wreak on an unsuspecting populace.

When, exactly, did Amerika's legendary rugged individuals turn into these cowering - terrified by life - cretins? Enquiring minds demand an answer.

Stupefying Shyster Prose
Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer [03/09]

Shysters defending three thugs who thrashed a differently-sexual dude outside a Seattle GLAAD BAAG bar during last year's Gay Pride festivities, served up a show-stopping excuse this week. Their clients aren't dastardly hate criminals who pounced on a bun ranger. Perish the thought. The defense shysters claim that one dude acted out of self-defense and the other two were simply doing what they could to stop the fight. Bold new concept!

Three dudes beat the snot out of a third and it's self defense? I so don't think so, Tim. The only way this excuse flies is when the 'victim' is a stoned-on-steroids, Stone Cold Steve Austin-class, badass, but that's not the case, here. Nice try shyster punks, but, that shyster spew ain't gonna fly outside the Twilight Zone.

Victicrats Whine About Kristie Alley's New Show
Source: San Francisco Chronicle [03/09]

When plus-size actress, Kristie Alley, decided to cash in on her ample girth with a boob tube comedy series - "Fat Actress" - that pokes fun at herself and her overstuffed condition, she, inadvertently, put herself on a collision course with a whiner cabal named the "National Eating Disorders Association". For those who obsess on such trivia, here's how the Chronicle describes the scene that helped these eating disorder whiners reach escape velocity:

'...co-star Kelly Preston tells Alley's character, which is loosely based on herself, that making herself sick after every meal is one way of losing weight -- a practice commonly used by bulimics...'

That's so not funny, these whiners complain. Ms. Alley, of all people, should be more sensitive to anorexics, bulimics and binge-eaters, they pontificate. PIG has a hot flash for these eating disorder fatheads: if you don't like Ms. Alley's new show, don't watch the damn thing.

"Gender Neutral Bathrooms"
Source: New York Times [03/05]

According to GLAAD BAAG activists, bathrooms are the final frontier that must be civilized, before the differently-sexual and the genderally-confused can become fully accepted members of society. I know what you're thinking and, as usual, you're wrong. This is not "another pagan scribbler excursion into an alternate reality". At least two GLAAD BAAG coddling cabals are determined to eradicate the blatant unfairness of Amerika's gender-specific bathrooms: the Gulag (San Francisco) based People in Search of Safe Bathrooms & the University of Chicago based Queer Action Campaign for Gender-Neutral Bathrooms.

"Very few spaces in our society remain divided by sex. There's marriage and there's toilets, and very little else." (Mary Anne Case, a law professor at the University of Chicago as quoted by the Times)

"Students are looking hard at the right to express their gender, a painful rite of passage for every young adult. These kids are demanding the right to be who they are and what they are 24/7. They're tired of being harassed or hassled when they simply need to use a public facility." (Riki Wilchins, executive director of the Gender Public Advocacy Coalition as quoted by the Times. Emphasis added.)

Depending on how deeply your city, state, school or company is mired in Nanny State GLAAD BAAG coddling bovine excrement, the definition for properly-sensitive bathrooms varies:

The least controversial solution entails the stunning bathroom triple: Men's Room, Women's Room and the "Don't rush me, I'm trying to make up my mind" room for the genderally-confused and/or the genderally-indecisive.

Slightly higher on the politically correct bathroom fairness ladder is a scam that allows "transgendered" individuals to make their bathroom choice based on their internal "gender identity". In other words, if Bubba the teamster is channeling his hidden 'female' side, today, don't kick up a fuss when he strolls his externally masculine stuff into the "Women's" bathroom to do his...business.

The pot of gold at the end of this politically correct bathroom ladder is already in practice elsewhere on this lovely planet: the unisex, everyone is welcome bathroom.

The "right to express one's gender" is pure crap and so is "the right to be who they are and what they are". What these GLAAD BAAG activists want is the power to use the government's monopoly on the use of force to coerce sovereign individuals into honoring their gender delusions. In practice this means business owners lose the right to establish rules of engagement for the bathrooms on their own property. In practice this means your tax dollars are used to create politically correct public bathrooms, from sea to shining sea. As usual these new "rights" are achieved by infringing on the inalienable liberty of certain other sovereign individuals.

"Each individual is born with a full complement of rights. The government can't give you new rights; it can only take the ones you already have." (The PIG Doctrine)

Victimhood In The News
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [03/04]

Seattle (Washington)
Lou Novak - first vice president for the Rental Housing Association of Puget Sound - got a bit too real the other day when he visited Washington's state capitol building in Olympia and it cost him his cushy RHA lobbyist gig. When he encountered a group from the Lifelong AIDs Alliance in the state House office building, Lou the Lip opined "Looks like it's anal-sex week." Fate conspired against Lou when it made his remark loud enough for an AID's activist to hear, but it really nailed his loose-lipped butt when confronted by Suzie Saxton - executive director for an AID's activist group - our hero repeated his comment then compounded his verbal self-destruction by "lecturing her about people engaging in irresponsible sex and asking for public money" (Seattle Times).

In a heartbeat, the RHA dumped Lou, disavowed his prose and apologized to anyone who would listen to them. With Lou gone and the RHA spewing "can't we all get along" prattle, that should end the matter. It should end the matter, but doesn't in a socialist bastion like Washington. At least one Legicrat thinks Lou's antics demonstrate why the state should enact his Legicrap, a proposed edict that "would ban discrimination against gays and lesbians in housing, employment and insurance" (Seattle Times). Property owners, employers and insurance companies can thank Lou the Lip when this bill passes and further infringes upon their inalienable liberty.

Augusta (Maine)
Refusing to take a hint from a rejection by voters in 1998 and 2000, Maine Governor John Baldacci is submitting the same, twice rejected, gay rights bill that, again, as soon as he polishes up a few details. Some people just can't take a hint, but, that's par for the reality insulted course in political hackdom. On the off chance that somebody gives a rip about this Down East GLAAD BAAG coddling, here are the bare essentials:

'...Baldacci's bill would make it illegal to discriminate against gays and lesbians because of their sexual orientation in school admissions, financial aid, academic programs, extra-curricular activities, research and sports. The ban would not apply to religious schools and colleges, according to the bill...' (Morning Sentinel)

The new wrinkle, this time out, involves what Korrectniks call "education discrimination" an inclusion that's unlikely to win over any new supporters. At least one gay rights opponent opined that this new Educrap wrinkle makes this particular bill that much more offensive.

Will Down East GLAAD BAAGs final cross that fabled finished line and score the coveted 'recognized minority' status? It's too soon to tell, but the usual suspects on both sides of this contentious tussle are already marshaling their forces for another pitched battle.

---

The Ethnocrat Checklist
Source: AP [02/26]

Melanin-Enriched activists held their annual pity party - the 6th Annual State of the Black Union Symposium - this week. As expected, the usual Ethnocrat suspects showed up to bash whitey: Rev. Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, Tavis Smiley. The following gem is the only fun factoid emerging from this whine-a-thon:

'...[attendees need to] develop a checklist of political priorities that could be submitted to politicians seeking support from black voters...' (AP)

Checklist? Not likely. The word Tavis sought and didn't find is "shopping list". Such a shopping list works this way: Ethnocrats make demands; Uncle Sam pays for all of them with your tax dollars. Those squeaky, Ethnocrat 'wheels' still get that tax dollar grease...Film at eleven!

Race Card Hyperbole
Source: News Max [02/23]

Six Empire State legicrats slapped the state's Juvenile Justice Secretary, Anthony Schembri, with the race card because he - a lowly oppressor - showed what these Melanin-Enriched hacks called an "absolutely racist" comedy skit at a meeting with some NAACP leaders, last July. The outraged race card wranglers demand that Mr. Schembri resign, stat or else.

Before the hacks tar and feather Anthony Schembri then ride him out of town on a rail, we need to clear the air with a few tattletale facts:

This "absolutely racist" comedy skit is a four minute goodie called "How to Not Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police".

The skit is part of an HBO comedy show.

The comedian who perpetrated this skit is Melanin-Enriched funnyman, Chris Rock.

'William H. Booth, a retired New York City judge and an NAACP member, said he was at the meeting and no one complained about the video. He said Schembri used it as an example of how the media can contribute to attitudes about profiling.' (News Max)

As far as PIG News can tell from the source material, the six race card wranglers weren't at this meeting.

These whining, race card flailing Legicrats are complaining about a skit by a black comedian that didn't offend any of the NAACP leaders attending the meeting and we're supposed to take these hack asshats seriously? I don't think so, victocrat Sparky.

Siberian-Amerikan Angst
Source: Register Guardian (Eugene, Oregon) [02/19]

Siberian-Amerikans (so-called "Native Americans) are fighting an uphill battle to eradicate an especially reviled word - squaw - from the Amerikan lexicon, with their decade-old campaign to force the relevant government entities to change the 967 instances where "squaw" is affixed to such natural features as lakes, mountains and rocks. Depending on which 'expert' you ask, "squaw" is Mohawk lingo for a woman's nads, or it's Massachusetts tribal lingo for "woman". Regardless of the word's meaning, the Siberian-Amerikan whiners want the name banished from the Amerikan lexicon and they won't take "no" for an answer.

Since 1995 when Amerikan boasted a thrilling 968, this relentless Siberian-Amerikan harping succeeded in changing a mere 74 names to something deemed Siberian-Amerikan cool. In 2001, six states - Oregon, Minnesota, Montana, Maine, Oklahoma and South Dakota - went the extra mile and decreed that "squaw" be expunged from the state's maps. But, their good intentions hit a new Siberian-Amerikan roadblock when the relevant tribes couldn't provide an all purpose, universally approved replacement term:

'..."The reason is pretty much this - there's really no one word to which everyone agrees it can be changed,'' said [executive secretary of the U.S. Geographic Names Board Roger] Payne, citing a survey of American Indian tribes conducted by the board which showed that although the majority wanted the squaw name to go, few were in favor of changing it to a single alternative. Instead, they each wanted a word from their specific language...' (Register Guardian)

PIG feels the Siberian-Amerikan pain and, respectfully, offers the following suggestion: shut the hell up, stop whining and get over yourselves. Furthermore, PIG dares to ask the hard question: Why is anyone 'that' putout because some horny, long dead bastard(s) decided to name certain 'natural features' after Siberian-Amerikan, uh, hoochy?

Dean's Enthocrat Problem
Source: News Max [02/17]

Within one week of his coronation as Democratic National Committee Chairman, Howard Dean managed to outrage Ethnocrats via an off the cuff comment that he spouted during a meeting with Congressional Black Caucus members. Howie baby should know, by now, how hypersensitive melanin-enriched Enthnocrats are. He should know better, but doesn't, apparently. And what, you ask, did Howie say that launched the Race Card wranglers into orbit? As usual, PIG News has the answer:

"You think the Republican National Committee could get this many people of color in a single room? Only if they had the hotel staff in here." (News Max)

The responses are, as expected, over the top. The fun fact about this Ethnocrat uproar is that, so far, all the race card wranglers belong to the Elephant Clan:

"We are simply outraged over recent racially insensitive remarks made by Democratic National Committee Chair Howard Dean. In his comments to the Democratic Black Caucus, Dean equates African-Americans who support Republicans to hired help. This kind of backward thinking reminds us of a horrible time in history when blacks were only seen as servants." (Former Congressman, J.C. Watts, and Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele as quoted in News Max)

'...On Monday, Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman told ABC Radio Network host Sean Hannity that Dean's remark was "pretty offensive. It's pretty racist, if you ask me."...' (News Max)

Is Deanski's joke racist? Nope. In fact, it's a nifty swipe at his pachyderm punk rivals whose support among the melanin-enriched is minimal. Who knew that W's home boys are as cringingly Korrectnik as the usual, liberal to a fault, suspects? Chill, Republican Race Card wranglers, because it's only a joke.

Afterthought
To date, Donkey Clan Ethnocrats seem content to give Deanski a pass on his alleged 'joke'. I'm guessing that this resounding silence from the left is a key reason why VRWC Ethnocrats are going postal.

Banned At Rutgers
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [02/16]

Tolerance reigns supreme at Rutgers University, now that University officials ordered the roach coaches that dispense alleged food for hungry students and University staff to eradicate certain sandwich names deemed irredeemably offensive by campus Korrectniks. Among the sandwich names getting the Korrectnik axe are "Fat Bitch" and "Fat Dyke", because they are "sexist" and "homophobic", respectively. Since the food truck owners have a contractual obligation that includes Korrectnik drivel like "showing respect to all students, faculty and staff, and operating in a professional, courteous manner", they didn't kick up a fuss when Ivory Tower Korrectniks ordered them to lose the 'offensive names'.

Proving how far gone certain Korrectnik dolts are, PIG offers the following quote into evidence:

"These sandwich businesses manage to be sexist, homophobic and offensive all in one grand slam. This is how hate crimes start, when people feel it's OK to make biased comments publicly." (Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, a statewide gay and lesbian political organization as quoted by AP)

Only a career Korrectnik like this nitwit can transform allegedly humorous sandwich names into a "hate crime". Steve, dude, you gotta trust me on this: you'll stop hearing the voices if you remember to take your medication. Don't make me come over there.

---

Korrectnik Brain-Fart Of the Month Contender
Source: AP [01/29]

Vermont Teddy Bear's "Crazy for You" teddy bear stirred up a Korrectnik hornets' nest that boosted sales for the stuffed critter, big time. The straightjacket-wearing critter has activists who coddle the differently-rational in a turbo tizzy, prompting them - along with Vermont Governor Jim Douglas - to aim a stern "tsk, tsk" at Vermont Teddy Bear. Laughing all the way to the bank this teddy bear purveyor is hanging tough, emboldened no doubt by brisk sales.

Kudos go out to Vermont Teddy Bear, not to mention the firm's customers, who gave the "Crazy for You" bear "the highest favorable ratings" (AP). The oft maligned, Amerikan sense of humor is alive and well at Vermont Teddy Bear.

Update
The whiners achieved a partial victory, when Vermont Teddy Bear decided not to manufacturer any more "Crazy for You" teddy bears after the critter sold out. The bad news is that they, apparently, caved into the pressure. The good news is that any customer who bought the controversial critter has a no shit collectors item on their hands.

Korrectnik Legicrap In Minnesota
Source: Sacramento Bee [01/28]

The usual, lefty, 'we feel your pain' suspects in the Minnesota legislature want to render the state kinder, gentler, to the differently rational by exorcizing certain insensitive terms from the official state lexicon. The following verbiage is slated for termination: "mental retardation", "handicapped", "idiot". Henceforth approved prose would include: "people with disabilities", "developmentally disabled person", "disabled person". I'm sure we're all feeling much better about ourselves, now that we've got that settled.

Are they putting some unknown, mind-altering substance in the Minnesota water, or did these state hacks get weird without any chemical assistance?

The Taxpayer-Funded Tranny Caper
Source: World Net Daily [01/24]

Scott Konitzer has some heavy duty nads, but that might change if he succeeds in forcing the Wisconsin taxpayers to shell out the boodle for his sex change operation. Scott - this differently-sexual clown calls himself "Donna Dawn" these days - is serving 123 years in a cheesehead land graybar, so he's letting Wisconsin taxpayers foot the bill for this "I wanna be a girl" aspirations.

In 1999, this gender bender succeed in arm twisting the Department of Corrections into giving him hormone therapy to put him on the fast track to almost girlhood. Citing the 8th Amendment's protection against cruel and unusual punishment, this gender bending, graybar denizen insists that the state must shell out the boodle that will complete his transition into almost girlhood.

On top of all that Scott/Donna objects strenuously to being housed in a men's graybar:

'...Konitzer, who looks female because of the hormones, also objects to being housed in male prisons, where male guards do the strip searches and male inmates share communal showers. Konitzer is not allowed to wear a bra or women's clothing...' (WND)

The last time I checked, "I wanna be a girl" aspirations aren't life threatening. Wisconsin should terminate this clown's hormone treatments and tell him, her, or it that his transsexual intentions are not the state's problem. If Scott/Donna still kicks up a fuss, my lovely bride's all purpose solution works like gang-busters in this instance: Just shoot the bastard.

Afterthought
The following quote from a Wisconsin legicrat nails it:

"This is the most absurd thing I've ever heard of. The taxpayers should not be spending one dime for something like that." (State Rep. Mark Gundrum, R-New Berlin, as quoted by WND)

Korrectnik Educrap Antics
Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [01/23]

Am I the only one in Amerika who didn't know that this week is - I am not making this up - "No Name Calling Week" in participating Amerikan cess-schools? Probably, but I can live with that. For those who obsess on such things, this is the second year cess-schools perpetrated this Korrectnik, Educrap farce on their captive audience.

Although it didn't cite any examples, AP took a swipe at "conservative critics" who had a hissy fit over this farce's GLAAD BAAG origins. What GLAAD BAAG origins? As usual, I have the answer:

'..."No Name-Calling Week" was developed by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, which is seeking to ensure that schools safely accommodate students of all sexual orientations...' (AP)

A waste of Educrat time and resources? You bet. A plot to send Amerikan youth into a differently-sexual, orgastic frenzy? Probably not. File this with your Jupiter-size folder of "reasons why one-size-fits-all, compulsory government cess-schools don't work".

Timely, Inaugural Advertising
Source: Sacramento Bee [01/18]

Don't hold your breath waiting for a GLAAD BAAG group - the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) - to lift a glass to celebrate W's second term in office. Eschewing such second term festivities, this differently-sexual activist group will make Bush's inauguration memorable by running ads castigating W's track record on "gay rights, hate crimes, and same-sex marriage" (Bee).

'...[Human Rights Campaign spokesdolt, Steven Fisher, explains that] the ads - which will appear on CNN, MSNBC and Fox News - are meant to "reach visitors in town for the inaugural, members of the administration and everyone who cares about fairness and equality, to make sure they understand his record."...' (Bee)

At best, these cable news channel-centered, GLAAD BAAG whines will fall on deaf ears. At worst, it will re-energize W's red state, 'damn them homos to hell' homeboys. I suggest that the HRC do a Jerry Brown and "lower their expectations" when it comes to aiding, abetting or promoting enlightenment among the properly pious, because it ain't gonna happen. A better idea would involve: stop whining; ignore these public policy slings and arrows; get on with your lives.

Afterthought
If there's any silver lining behind this dark, GLAAD BAAG angst cloud, it's the stellar fact that the HRC isn't seeking a government-coerced, taxpayer-funded, solution to their problem.

Group Identity Angst
Source: Seattle Times [01/17]

This rain-soaked fishwrap serves up a three-hanky sob-a-thon with a story about Matt Kelley and his tragic plight as "multi-racial" individual who doesn't fit neatly into any recognized racial or ethnic whiner group. I know what you're thinking and he's been there, done that.

'...[Kelley is] president and founder of the MAVIN Foundation, a Seattle-based advocacy group for mixed-race people and families...' (Times)

See, and here you were worried, needlessly. When the existing, government-sanctioned, victim group identities didn't fit, he created one of his own. So there.

Curiously, neither Matt Kelley or this fishwrap asks - or discusses - the obvious question: why, exactly, does race and/or ethnicity matter? This omission speaks volumes about Matt Kelley and the Seattle Times' race-based notions. Both seem to presume that race/ethnicity is the holy grail when it comes to the Matt's identity.

Matt Kelley's plight - his antics - are infused with group think. Matt's angst centers on finding a suitable, recognized, group label, preferably on that's infused with the coveted "I, too, am oppressed" pedigree. Although his group think brain-fart is mundane, his solution is unique: since the recognized, group think players won't let him in, he formed his own victim cabal, one with its own, tailor-made, flavor of victimhood. If he thinks that makes him special, he's tragically deluded. Like every other victim punk, Matt Kelley proudly spouts the prevailing group think mantra: "I am a victim".

Color Coded Junk Food
Source: Billings Gazette (Montana) [01/15]

Up to 'here' with the obesity purveyor bull's-eye that Amerikan Fat Nazis painted on them, a vending machine industry group - National Automatic Merchandising Association (NAMA) - has a plan. To muffle relentless Fat Nazi caterwauling, NAMA will affix color coded stickers to each machine, using them to separate Fat Nazi cool snacks, from dastardly "don't you dare" fat pills.

'...[The stickers sort snack items using] the nutrition content of food based on calories, fat, sugar, protein, fiber, calcium, iron and vitamins A and C. A snack is assigned a point value, which is then translated into a color. Green is "best choice," yellow is "choose occasionally" and red is "choose rarely."...' (Gazette)

Will this color coded scheme fly with snack-phobic Fat Nazis? I doubt it, but stranger things have happened. The stop the presses, "well, duh", quote comes from NAMA's top executive:

'..."People are going to eat what they want to eat," said Richard M. Geerdes, the association's president and chief executive. He said that when some schools in Los Angeles removed vending machines, consumption of snack food "shifted to a different source". "A solution like that doesn't work."...' (Gazette)

Color coded stickers on vending machines are silly, at best, but I 'get it',when it comes to the underlying motivation. This color coded stickers' primary purpose involves shielding vending machine companies from a shyster raid on their bank account. Will they fulfill their prime function when the looming, Fat Nazi-scripted class action lawsuit reaches critical mass? Maybe. The jury - literally - is still out.

Teddy Bear Tempest
Source: Tongue Tied [01/13]

Mental health nitwits are in a tizzy because Vermont Teddy Bear Company sells a cuddly, Valentine's Day cutie named the "Crazy For You" bear. Fitted with a straitjacket, this bear comes with commitment papers. Alas, this teddy bear humor doesn't register with the usual, chronically-offended suspects.

'...Mental health advocates believe the bear is "a tasteless use of marketing that stigmatizes persons with mental illness," says Jerry Goessel, the executive director of the Vermont chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill...' (Tongue Tied)

Mr. Goessel, is, apparently, off his medication again. Would it be egregiously insensitive to suggest shock treatments? Probably, but I'm up to the challenge.

The World According To Farrakhan
Source: News Max [01/09]

Nation of Islam leader, Louis Farrakhan, is off his medication...again. This is not breaking news, but, Farrakhan archivists will want to add the following fabulous Farrakhan quote to their collection:

"What is going on in the world is a battle between 'theocracy' and 'democracy'. The enemy is plotting, through democracy, to make the whole world submit to so-called democratic values, so that the demons of the West can rule all the darker peoples of the world under 'democracy'. 'Democracy' is 'the rule of the people'. But what kind of people? It’s the very opposite of theocracy. It’s the rule of a devil." (News Max)

Farrakhan continues to amaze and amuse this pagan scribbler.

NO NAD Angst
Source: Fox News [01/03]

If the usual, NO NAD whiners still wore boulder holders, they'd be burning them at Clear Channel headquarters to protest a boom box stunt called "The Breast Christmas Ever". Aired on 4, Clear Channel, boom box outlets, this contest involved giving a dozen lucky women $5,000 boob jobs. Freely admitting that the contest didn't violate decency standards, NOW shriekers stole a play from Brent Bozell's playbook with a well-orchestrated letter writing campaign aimed at the FCC and Clear Channel. Whatever floats your boat, NO NAD whiners.

Life must be very nifty for Amerika's NO NADs if a 'win a free boob job' contest run on 4 boom box stations is their number one, bra-burning issue. Maybe it's time for these womyn to stop their caterwauling and get a damn life.

GLAAD BAAG Snow Monkeys
Source: World Net Daily [01/03]

Pink triangle panties are in a wad, after a self-described tourism promoter, Al Heirich, warned visitors to his web site that Telluride's (Colorado) forthcoming 'Gay Ski Week' is no place for the family values horde. Go figure.

His online prose about Gay Ski Week reads like a 'don't you dare miss it' carrot for differently-sexual tourists, up to a point.

'...Although this week should be fun for those not offended by alternative lifestyles, with scheduled events including: The Pleasure Hunt, The Blue Ball Dance, Drag Races and more, we are strongly suggesting that families concerned with exposing their children to the homosexual lifestyle and homosexual behavior schedule their vacations another time...' (From a statement posed on Al's web site, as reported by WND)

Essentially a 'fair warning' endeavor, Al's prose elicited a predictable response from the usual suspects. For this panty-twisting drama the local, Telluride's fishwrap serves as ground zero for local lefty outrage. It's letters to the editor section is replete with Al-bashing prose from Telluride's resident lefties and assorted other Korrectnik dweebs. Despite all the letter to the editor vitriol, Al is coping very nicely...so there!

Since, to date, no government, or shyster, involvement has occurred, this snowy, pink triangle tempest rates a non-negotiable "no harm, no foul" from this pagan scribbler. If Gay Ski Week isn't viable financially, the marketplace will punish the perpetrators. If family values ski buffs don't want to share the slopes with frolicking GLAAD BAAGs they can take their business elsewhere. Ultimately, the ski resorts' balance sheets will make the only meaningful assessment on Gay Ski Week. That sounds okey dokey to this pagan...how about you?

Druid Hills Update
Source: Ledger-Enquirer (Columbus, GA) [01/01]

[This is a follow up to story from 12/27/2004 'Atlanta's GLAAD BAAG Angst']
Challenging the fines that Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin aimed at their Southern-fried golf club, Druid Hills Golf Course laid a shyster assault on Atlanta. After Atlanta hacks cited the city's 4-year-old anti-discrimination edict, Druid Hills officials trumped the city's edit by citing a 2004 vintage amendment to Georgia's constitution:

'...[The Druid Hills lawsuit] cites a section of a new constitutional amendment, passed overwhelmingly by voters in November, that bars gays from marrying in Georgia or joining in any union that reaps "the benefits of marriage"...' (Ledger-Enquirer)

This Peach State shyster drama sounds like big fun, to this Pagan scribbler. Will property rights prevail against city hall? The jury is still out, but, when anything nifty transpires, PIG news will bring you all the thrilling facts. Stay tuned.